to be irritated by adverts depicting childbirth as horrific?

[Goofus]

I can't remember what the advert is for but I think it's one of those cutesy 'through the ages' of a couples life, including the birth of their child. It's a new-ish one.
The image of her giving birth shows her face contorted in agony, screaming, clenching her husband's fist and generally looking like a sweaty, petrified mess.

My DDs, aged 8 and 6 have decided, from watching that advert they never want to give birth. My 6yo has gone from wanting 6 children to just wanting a dog when she's older.
Now, I know they are likely to change their mind at some point as most of us do get over the horror of finding out how you give birth.

But why do these adverts/films have to show it as such a scary experience putting the fear in girls from the start?

Giving birth for me was hard work, not extreme agony. I had 3 natural home births and scoff every time I see birth scenes that wouldn't be out of place in a horror movie - but I don't know any different!

You do have to work bloody hard to push a baby out your fanjo whether you're doing it au natural or sky high on drugs. You can't exactly portray it as a walk in the park with a cute squishy baby to cuddle at the end.

I think the media should show a balance. Depictions of birth as hideously painful and almost unbearable are damaging if they are not balanced with calmer depictions - it is a natural, animal process that female bodies are designed for. No other mammal makes such a fuss about it. I guess that soap operas would not be so gripping if birth was shown as easy, but there's no need to show it being so bad in an advert. And if more people were shown that it can be peaceful, maybe more people would start to believe that this is possible, and aim for it and it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy?

(Caveat: I'll get back to you in 5 weeks or so when I have found out for myself whether I can make it a calm, peaceful experience! )

Because it is for a lot of women.

Mine was terrifying.

My friend sang whilst she was giving birth.

I disagree, Yomping (but I do hope you have a lovely calm time! Young girls don't seem to know much about labour except twenty minutes of sheer pain or the serene white nighty pigtails scenario! We need to see more of the middle ground- long slow labours, period aches, cuts, grazes, sections and the lovely bit at the end IMO.

And I do think it would cut teenage pregnancy rates.

It was like that for me, and most people I know. Agonising. Like being disembowelled.

I'm the same as raspberry
Except gas and air makes me I'll
Only truly horrible thing for me was when a mw refused to believe I was in prem labour
I would prefer to give birth than go to the dentist anytime

I actually like that advert, I think it shows a pretty realistic picture of motherhood with the mum wincing as she sits down after the birth, struggles with the breast pump and apologises to a cafe full of people as her baby wails, all pretty spot on in my experience and so was the giving birth scene, I screamed because it bloody hurt and was probably a sweaty mess after 4 hours of pushing too.

This is like, really obvious, but...
Can't you just not watch the adverts? What adult in right mind watches any adverts?

Agree that the majority of births don't have to be horrific or terrifying. Hard work and painful, yes, but not the huge trauma it's made our to be. But then, I think the way we manage birth often creates the terror and trauma. Will probably be accused of being natural birth loon now.

Very true lljkk. Sky plus/tivo is great for that reason alone. Can't remember the last time I watched an advert!

We don't have sky, we just mute & keep half an eye on for our programme starting again. It's easy. I love British ad breaks, they're long enough to use the toilet, boil the kettle, put out the rubbish, pour the tea, pet the cat, check the weather, drink half the tea & sit down again just as programme returns.

Except that DC often clamour to watch ads, but they're young & foolish & just looking for the laughs.

YABU I love that advert because it is so realistic, it makes me smile, especially the wincing when she sits there.

Although ds 6 watched it the other day and asked me very surprised if having a baby hurts.

Other animals suffer pain in labour too,Yomping.And our bodies aren't particuarly well designed for childbirth.We're still adapting to walking up right.We've paid the price for it,and our pelvis is poorly designed in comparison to other mammals for the purposes of giving birth.
That our babies have comparatively large heads and broad shoulders is another issue.

It is what it is - a snapshot. It cannot represent all of us. I haven't seen the advert. But presumably her baby only has one gender not both, is only fed by bottle or boob not both, has straight parents not gay, two parents not one etc etc.

And snapshots are unrepresentative partly because some of us will be serene all the way through. This does happen. And partly because, as you rightly say in your second post, because childbirth is a process. For all but the most dramatic births parts of it will be serene in parts, and usually only the last stretch contains any gruntiness!

I remember both times thinking that I was actually going to split in half, so yeah I'd say it's a bloody painful experience & should be shown as such.

Am more bemused by soaps/films that show it as about 10 minutes from 1st twinge to actual birth.......

Neither of Xw's were painful deliveries. Much more scary. One an emergency section, the next elective. She'd had a painful first labour up to the section and with the second she didn't bond well with DD - she said because it didn't feel she'd given birth.

I'd have thought it realistic tbh

Maybe they should show what I was like. After I was induced it was sooo fucking unbelievably painful I just stopped speaking. I don't even really remember it. Both the mw and my dh were getting seriously worried as I just stopped making any noise. Would that be better? Silent mental woman.
Just because it's painful doesn't mean it's horrific.

I could be wrong, but I think OP is talking about the new 'mum and me' range being advertised?

I LOVE that advert. The labour scene, cutting to the scene where the poor woman can't sit down after birth (no one tells you about that bit!), cutting to her face when she switches on the electric breast pump (nope, no prewarning of that either, through to her look of sheer panic when the baby is crying in a restaurant and she can't stop him/her.

I love it because it is so so real. I am quite open about my start as a mum. It was bloody awful. But we came through it, through all of the above, and out the other side.

And now he is three. And we are at permanent war with each other!

Giving birth for me bad bad bad. Long and complicated. Ended with GA. Beyond horrific and NOBODY warned me it could be so bad.......Thankfully have my lovely boy now though :)

I thought the advert should a great picture of pregnancy, birth and being mum to a new baby. I didn't think the snap shot I her giving birth was horrific, probably about right? She's supposed to be pushing a baby out of her vagina? It is painful, it is hard work and sometime the crying, screaming and grunting happens. I was more put off what she was eating from the fridge! Gross!

The image of her giving birth shows her face contorted in agony, screaming, clenching her husband's fist and generally looking like a sweaty, petrified mess.

That's what giving birth is like though.....I even bit my husband's leg and screamed at the midwife to "take it out now". It fucking hurts.

The only thing more horrific (for me) than childbirth, was the actual pregnancy. It is horrific for a huge amount of women, makes sense for them to show it in a way that will resonate with the maximum amount of women.

Plus, they aren't aiming it at children/men who will find it scary, they are aiming it at women who've been there, done that. If they showed it all serene and easy then most of their target market would laugh at them for being twee and unrealistic.