There's a thread at the moment from a mum who handed her child over to granny to be looked after for the day while she went to a wedding, and then the mum was horrified that granny had given the (faddy) child a weightwatchers petit filous when he wouldn't eat yoghurt.
Another thread is from a woman who wants PIL around on Christmas day to be with the grandkids, but doesn't want to put them up overnight so is planning to stick them in a hotel (even though her DH disagrees and she hasn't even asked the PIL yet!)
And there are regularly threads from parents who are happy to use the grandparents as unpaid childcarers so they themsleves can earn, but then complain that their child watched a bit of telly/ate a couple of sweets/slept for 10 minutes too long.
I feel that some (not all) people have a really selfish attitude. If the gps are still relatively young and active, then surely this is their time, having raised their own family, to have the freedom to travel when they want, see friends, not be restricted by being an unpaid childminder, and yes godammit, even spend christmas in their own home if they want! And if the gps are elderly and frail, then surely it goes without saying you shouldn't be expecting them to run round after toddlers and have all the worry and responsibility? (Though there have also been threads about gps in their 70s who are still being expected to revolve their lives around their adult children....)
I expect many of us on here will become gp's within the next 20 years. I am sure we won't feel any different inside. We will still have our own lives and want to make our own decisions. I'm sure I'll love any future grandchildren to bits, and enjoy spending time with them, offering babysitting now and again etc. But I hope my adult children would respect the fact that DH and me are still people and not there to simply service the needs of others.
(And before anyone jumps in saying well I cant afford to work unless granny minds the kids for nothing, we certainly weren't at all well off when our kids were small, every month was a struggle and all my income went on childcare, but I still wouldn't have expected anyone else to care for them for free. Our children, our responsibility)