To ask if you believe your OH values your role within your home/ lives?

[Barbielovesken]

Probably not really an AIBU but do you believe your oh values your role within your lives? Regardless of that role - whatever it may be do you feel valued/ under valued/ appreciated etc?

Prompted by an arguement between dh and I this morn, it got me thinking. Do couples, generally appreciate each other? Or do we all tend to, because of tiredness/ stress etc express that we don't (even if we do), or do people not have a clue what other people do if not present at all times or is my dh just a massive prick?

He referred to me (repeatedly) this morning as lazy and apparently I do nothing. I work 38 hours a week, commute 7, have 3 dc (6,2 and 1), am back to work since dd3 was 5 months, am here 5-6 nights out of 7 on my own once I get in (due to dh's job) so do tea, bed, bath etc with dc and housework/ washing/ getting all ready for next day on my own. Up til last year, I was attending uni at night (on top of work( and studying constantly when dc were asleep) and was pregnant.

I'm really surprised to be referred to as lazy - i may be a lot of things- but lazy?

Sorry, pressed send too quick. But success (whatever that may be to an individual) doesn't come without a price IMO

I think it is a shame that you feel the need to try and normalise his nasty behaviour like that.

You can't picture a better father? I can, he is sat on the sofa next to me.

DH and I have achieved a lot together, we have hugely more to deal with now than we did 5 years ago. Yes we have arguments, but we appreciate and respect each other enormously.

I completely understand and respect what you're saying Ali and to an extent definitely agree with you but I'm a bit at your 'a better father than your dh's is sitting right next to me' comment - that's very presumptuous and, well, a little silly to say about someone you've never met. I know you're taking the picture I've painted here but I'm still a little baffled as to how you can make sure a committed and self assured statement.