Would you force a child ........

[sadie3]

To go to Uni if they were financially set up for life?

University isnt the be all and end all whatever people think why don't you wait until the children grow up and decide for themselves, I would never force my children to do anything, do people really force their teenagers into university ?

I would encourage him to do A-levels before leaving to work for his dad - but you can go to university any time, and actually if I had left uni a bit later I probably would have made better decisions about what to study and what to do with my life. If you have good A-levels then you can easily go to university later on. It is harder if you leave with no A-levels and then have to do those as well - my DBro went to college aged 29 to sit A-levels and then went on to do a 5 year course at uni, and it was bloody hard work (especially when all his friends were working and enjoying their money/weekends/evenings whilst he studied). If he'd done his A-levels before leaving school it would have taken the edge off a bit.

I would not try to force/persuade my son or daughter to go to university if it wasn't what they really wanted.

I'd ask them what they want to do. University doesn't work if they aren't really into the subject - waste of everyone's time and money. It doesn't set you up for life. There's a lot of luck and economical fortune involved too. I wished I'd gone at say age 28 when i knew what I was interested in.

yes

Child at the moment hence why I said child. EX DH wants our eldest child to skip Uni and work for him. I want all my children to get a good education for a long as poss.

You do realise your child is a person don't you? Not a possesion for you and exh to argue over. Your child will probably have their own opinion by the time they are 18, and they might choose neither.

I have seen similiar OP. young man who from the age of 12 was telling their mum that they didn't need to do well at school as their uncle had offered them a job as soon as they left school. mum gave up fighting - was very sad
child left school at earliest opportunity to join family business
they are barely literate and family business struggling due to recession
YANBU

I would 'heavily persuade' an 18 year old to go to Uni first, then work for dad if s/he wished. It's a growing-up and maturing experience that I would be sorry that my 'child' missed out on. The best persuasion might be if all the mates were going and excited about it...

If the child has the aptitude, then I would definitely encourage the child to think about further education. They've got the rst of their lived for work. When you are young it is much easier to study.

By the sounds of things your ds is more practical than wanting it all on paper.

Maybe he'd like to work with his dad so he has money that hes earned himself from a young age so he can buy himself a car etc. Maybe he's heard or seen people who have finished uni have ended up on job seekers and doesn't want to be like them.
Uni isn't the only way to learn. If my DD said to me I don't want to go to uni I'd rather work AND I have an offer for a job I'd be over the moon for her.

Even the very very rich go to university. A solid all round education and the contacts made at a decent university cannot be ignored.

I agree, not everyone is capable of going to university and vocational jobs are the way forward for those people.

University for universities sake on a vacuous course run by an ex polytechnic is also pointless and leaves a mill stone of debt. Those are the people on the dole queue, who have delayed the inevitable. You don't find the doctors, lawyers, accountants queuing up to sign on.

I would always encourage education but in the end it is the persons own choice.

I wouldn't force them to do anything, and it is a bit pointless anyway as in 'you can force a horse to water.............' They are also not a child.

I would say that it was a sensible choice. University is overrated unless you are an academic or need it to be vocational as in doctor, vet, civil engineer etc.
Even if they are not technically an adult yet it is their decision. The same with all DCs - their choice and not down to their mother. The job market for graduates is dire at the moment- I have one- so unless he has a burning desire to extend academic learning I would say that he is very sensible to get straight to work.

He can always go later anyway if he feels that he made the wrong decision, after a few years.

OP - the school leaving age has raised, so your DS can't leave school at 16 anyway. Surely, there must be something he does at school that he finds interesting and relevant. If you ex is insisting your DS doesn't need to work at school, as there's a job waitng for him, it's vitally important your DS understands the importance of maths and English at the very least.

The school leaving age isnt raised - it's never been ratified in law. The proposal is what is now called Y12 - children do not have to stay on at school - so long as they remain in a form of education, be that 6th form, college, apprenticeship.

If it ever gets made legislation it will apply to the Y11 leavers in 2013, not the current lot who have just received GCSEs

. . . so the OP's DS will be affected by any change to the school leaving age. He's currently 13.

Only if the proposals become legislation

You sound as bad as each other - you both have dreams of what you want from DS

You are both being unreasonable to think either of you have that decision to make.

No I'd never push a child to go to uni. That is their choice.

You can't force him to go to university.

You can encourage him to not be a lazy idiot and go to school and work hard while he is there.

the school leaving age has raised

yes It has although in scotland they can still leave at 16 if they have 'something' to go too college or work

OK you may not want to say what the business is for fear of outing yourself, but is it something that generally involves more practical, on-the-job training (construction, catering, farming or whatever)? Or is it something more white-collar such as selling goods/services or finance? If it's the latter then a higher level of education would be a better idea.

Also, what does your DS really want to do with his life, is he suited (in temperament and skills) to this type of business or is he academically inclined?
It is true that a lot of university courses these days are really pretty Mickey Mouse and the graduate ends up with a massive debt and the chance of a minimum-wage job in a call centre. But it's also true that if your XH is a manipulative arsehole that your DS might have a really rough time, XH might even (if very spiteful) 'change his mind' just at the point when DS has left it too late to apply for further education.

I'd be encouraging him to do some FE relevant to the job he's got waiting for him, in a positive way...

It's fantastic that you've got a career you're interested in and you're not going to have to fight to get into, but you need to be able to do it well and other staff are going to have to know you can do and not just that you're there because of your dad. Going to college/uni will give you a better start and you'll still have it waiting for you, you'll also be able to make contacts that will help the business later on.

that sort of thing - and start showing him business/management/financey type courses. Or whatever would be good for that business.

Because to be honest it is a good thing, so be supportive of and try to get him to fulfill his potential at the same time.

My dad owns a business. My brother wanted to follow him in it, my dad convinced him go to uni and get a business degree, then worked in another place for a few years, just to make sure it was what he wanted, and to get experience in another industry. My brother came back to the business in his mid-20s and is going strong. So I am an advocate of keeping your options open.