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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking 40k income really isn't a fortune??

731 replies

mummymacbeth · 25/08/2012 19:25

Yes, a thread about a thread kind of. And I am fairly sure it has been done before but still!

I really don't think a forty grand gross income is a fortune. Our income with two kids is currently a bit less than that, though has been that in the fairly recent past. It is - and was - a bit of a struggle. We are not in the south east, we do not have a huge mortgage, expensive cars, kids are at state school and we don't manage to get abroad every year. We are living from month to month. A "fortune" it ain't!! (ref the post about someone wondering whether to have a fourth child)

OP posts:
CailinDana · 27/08/2012 16:15

Rent in a cheap area, or live with relatives and save like crazy. It took us 10 years to save our deposit.

OwlLady · 27/08/2012 16:16

what if you have no relatives though or live in an area where all rent is expensive? you have no chance. It's pretending we are have the same footing in life when most people just get by and home ownership will never be possible

Puppypanic · 27/08/2012 16:18

Thank you Cailin, it helps getting someone else's perspective on it all sometimes. I feel like a rabbit in headlights at the moment. I sit at stare at my list of outgoings for hours! You are right of course, every little bit of shaving off does count.

Helps very much reading threads like this and seeing how others manage their money.

CailinDana · 27/08/2012 16:18

I don't mean to be flippant but if you're on 20k chances are you're not in a top level, rare job, so if you're living in an expensive area and can't afford to buy there, but really want a house, then you have to consider moving somewhere where you can afford it. If you don't want to move then you have to accept that you won't be able to buy a house. House ownership isn't the be all and end all.

Jadeano · 27/08/2012 16:20

I live in greater London. We have 2 kids..... My mortgage is £1500 a month, my Council tax £141, my child care £40 a day and that's not to mention food, petrol, phone etc. I earn just under £40,00 and it just covers all of out outgoings. We do have Cable tv, but rarely go out so this is our treat! In other parts of the country this may be a huge amount of money, but when it costs you £80 to fill your car with petrol and it only lasts 2 weeks, it doesn't stretch that far! BUT, we hold our own and live within our means and are proud of the fact that we are bringing up our family on our own!

Acinonyx · 27/08/2012 16:22

We are a bit older (early 50s) so I do worry about our 'retirement'. Still have a young child at home. We have not been very sensible with money and I do worry quite a lot about it. I just try to plan as best I can to repay as much as we can as soon as we can (and I never plan to retire - I've had that in advance....).

I think our grocery shopping is extravagant (and we have organic meat and dairy) but it's nowhere near 800/month (even including booze Wink). Do you bathe in milk Smile?

Any chance you could rent out part of the house? That's what friends of ours with a really massive interest only mortgage are thinking about doing.

Puppypanic · 27/08/2012 16:24

Acinonyx we have a lot of friends and family over to eat which really bumps up the bill. We used to throw big parties and all sorts - not anymore, we can't carry on like this.

I feel like you though, we have had our retirement and it is pay back time now till god knows when!

noddyholder · 27/08/2012 16:25

Can you switch to repayment and then slash food bill and use the rest to over pay? I am worried about a couple of my mates atm who have huge IO mortgage and no way of paying it back

itsjustmeanon · 27/08/2012 16:25

It depends on the mortgage. DH and I used to have a joint income of above 40k, and we were never rich, but didn't have to budget to the last few pounds, and could have meals out. We now have an income less than 40k, and its a real struggle.

CailinDana · 27/08/2012 16:26

Puppy, would it be worth seeing a financial adviser or going to the CAB just to have someone to sit down and go through everything with you? It sounds like you're really worried, but you're totally at sea as to what to do. It would be possible to cut your outgoings by about £700 a month as far as I can see, which would be a great help.

I know it can seem overwhelming, and easier to just ignore it. But if it's really keeping you awake then it might be worth taking the bull by the horns and just dealing with it.

TheCrackFox · 27/08/2012 16:31

Might also be worth joining the Money Saving Expert website. Loads of the posters over there really know their stuff (and have been through similar) and might be able to give you some good, solid advice.

Puppypanic · 27/08/2012 16:32

I would feel so bad going to the CAB and wasting valuable time over someone who deserves the help ifyswim.

I guess changing to repayment might be a possibility? I'm worried we would lose our very low interest rate though - need to make that phone call.

I want to turn back the clock and stick a sensible gene into my head.

We are thinking very seriously about it these days which is a vast improvement on our previous ostrich like approach.

Puppypanic · 27/08/2012 16:33

Thank you for being so kind btw. I've been following this thread avidly but was too scared to post as totally appreciate what fuckwits we have been especially when reading how others get by on so much less.

CailinDana · 27/08/2012 16:35

Once you actually tackle it I'm sure you'll find it's not as bad as you thought. It seems daunting but I think the main hurdle is probably accepting the lifestyle change that needs to happen - that can be really really hard if you're used to one way of being and see cutting down as a hardship. The surprising thing is, once you start saving it can become quite addictive and satisfying, especially if it's easing pressure on you. And treats really are treats, even if they're tiny, so money means so much more IYSWIM.

SusanneLinder · 27/08/2012 16:35

*married
utter tripe!
30 years ago I entered Nursing and none of the top Schools of Nursing would touch anyone without good A levels - certainly to be an RN you needed them.
Enrolled nurses had 0 levels in those days.

Most of the old school RNs wouldnt have a clue in the modern day . I think your neighbour probably doesnt like the fact that modern day nurses dont bow and scrape enogh
Degrees have been brought in because most Nurses are so highly qualified that it makes sense to bring graduates UP to their level!*

Yaaaay Mrs Baggins, so agree! I get fed up with people saying that degree nurses these days for some reason fall down in patient care. This is utter bollocks. It is the foundation of ALL nursing, whether degree or otherwise. DH has a degree, and he was interviewed for his course to make sure that he was suitable. It was bloody hard work, he had to work,do placements,study and look after a family as well. The degree wasn't easy to get.

Now he is a 2 year post qualified RMN, and yes, of course he still wipes arses :o

Most nurses nowadays are shit scared of making a mistake, cos they have a huge responsibility. Stuff that Junior Doctors used to do, and they trained nurses better when they brought in the new working time directives for Junior Doctors. And yep, nurses don't bow and scrape to doctors anymore, and challenge them if they don't believe it is in the best interests of their patients.

Puppypanic · 27/08/2012 16:38

Thank you Cailin Smile. I've not spent an unnecessary bean for a little while now and yes it does feel good!

You have absolutely hit the nail on the head that we can't carry on living like we have been and just need to accept it which is surprisingly difficult unfortunately.

Kayano · 27/08/2012 16:43

Puppy you deserve the help
From CAB just as much as anyone else

Everyone at cab is there for the same reason

And damn straight I'd rather be there having been on an awesome travelling adventure Grin

Was it good? What did you see?

Puppypanic · 27/08/2012 16:52

Oh god I'm laughing and crying now!

It was fab, like going to the best party ever but having the worst ever hangover to follow!

Saw the Pyramids, Taj Mahal, Ayers Rock, Empire State Building, Mount Everest, Sydney Opera House, Komodo dragons, Niagara Falls, Great Barrier Reef, Mount Kilimanjaro, flamingoes on Lake Navasha, Dingoes in Kakadu, snakes in the outback and spiders in our boots!!

We did it all on a shoestring and sold everything to pay for it. Coming back was starting from scratch and making a bad job of it. Thanks for helping me remember all the good things about why we are in this mess!

Think I need to go off and change names now Blush.

nannycook · 27/08/2012 17:00

I've worked all my life since i was 14 and i'm 54 now, i earn £19.000, my husband who was made redundant has a private pension, but believe it isnt alot, we manage, however we dont go out, well once or twice a year maybe, we also have a mortgage, we're just about to move, i would like some more money, but my husbands 58 this year with no chance or working again.

MummytoKatie · 27/08/2012 17:16

Puppy - do you really need the private health insurance? I know people say a lot of negative stuff about the NHS but it is really rather good. Obviously it depends how much you are paying and what you get but it is something we have never felt the need for.

LynetteScavo · 27/08/2012 17:31

Yay! Puppypanic's council tax is higher than mine! I'm feeling better now.

I also used to spend nearly £200 pw on food. I had no idea that was a lot. (I didn't MN in those days). I now have it down to £100 pw. It can be done, but I don't think I could get it lower without being miserable.

Puppypanic, don't name change! It's swings and roundabouts. Other people may be able to afford a cruise when they are old, but they will have led relatively dull lives earlier.

I think a good aproach is "I may have fucked up financially in the past, but I can change and deal with the future." Well, I hope it's good, I just thought it up yesterday. Grin

DH pointed out we used to earn, together £40Kpa when we first met, £15 years ago. Teeny, weeny mortgage, only one car and no DC. We were "comfortable then, IMO. But then I'm comparing myself to certain people.

PooPooOnMars · 27/08/2012 17:33

Puppy. I would

reduce the money you spend on food,

get rid of the private health care,

make sure your credit card is a 0% interest one and if not transfer,

check if debt repayment can be altered to a lower interest etc.

OwlLady · 27/08/2012 18:23

my council tac is £250 something a month and I live ina three bed semi ffs and my council are shit, on the whole

Margerykemp · 27/08/2012 18:33

Going for gold- I think you should be getting childcare tax credit.

ditavonteesed · 27/08/2012 18:37

going for gold, if you are not sure look on entitled to, thats how I worked out the different combinations of hours.

puppy, please see CAb thhey are there to help everyone, reduce your food by half shouldnt be hard at all, meal plan. cut the health insurance and concentrate on debt repayment. Use the NHS. you can save a lot in a very short time, and get your debts cleared, once thats done you will have loads, find out about the mortgage, they want change your rate for asking. :)

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