To NOT make my DM a cup of tea?

[Eggrules]

DM is at a motorway services half an hour away having a cup of tea

She must drink 20 cups a day. She has just left a message asking me to put the kettle on in 25 mins so that a cuppa is waiting for her.

I really think she can wait until the kettle boils or even make it herself when she gets here.

AIBU?

Are people really this pathetic when it comes to tea?

Less the tea and more the relative I think, MrMiyagi.
As I said, I'm surprised it wasn't one of the eternal MIL threads we get on here.

What do mean by pathetic, MrMiyagi?

That they have to phone ahead to make sure it´s on the table when they arrive-although they expect that to be in only half an hr & they are drinking a cup whilst phoning?

OP-you shouldn´t be encouraging her n her habit-YANBU to not put the kettle on until she has at least arrived at your house!

^that is how many mugs have been used.

AgentZigzag - DM left about 10 mins ago and will 'give me three rings' when she gets in. DF will text. They are travelling together. In the same car.

YellowDinosaur It sounds like I have a similar relationship with my DF, we are great mates. DM is not easy going but we get along fine.

I love my both parents loads but I am grown up and am allowed a different opinion. This was wicked crazy and I don't agree that tea is as important as oxygen . All that tea must be bad for her, however it is her business. I only drink 1 x coffee and 1 x tea per day and just don't understand the urgent nature of the request.

Puppymonkey - wanting a cup of tea/ drink as soon as you get somewhere is normal. I'll mash you one the second you get here. My DM is like your Sil with regard to the need for tea before she leaves/ as soon as she gets anywhere. Your poor DB.

Moln 'Hold on did she phone (whilst drinking tea) to tell you to make a cup of tea, directly after you put down the phone, so that it'd be there made (luke warm) on the table when she arrived? She phoned whilst drinking tea and left a message telling me she wanted a fresh cup it in 30 mins (which was when she thought she would arrive). She couldn't be at my house in 30 mins because she was drinking tea and had not yet started on the final leg of her journey (which actually took about 70 mins).

All ended well and we are all on good terms; they left happy and full. I told her she was crazy and asked her if she wanted to chew on a teabag whilst the kettle was boiling. They did not want a flask and I am sure they will stop on the way home so DM can pee like a horse and have a much needed cup of tea

Rant over, normal service has been resumed. or for everyone (even DM).

I think you are taking her for granted. What I'd give to put the kettle on for my mum.

I refuse because my mum never finishes a cup I make her.

HildaHotPants I'm sorry if your mum is no longer with us.

I don't think I am taking her for granted though. We are a normal family and get on each others nerves from time to time.

The OP can have a friendly rant about her mum without being disrespectful to those who haven't got theirs around any more Hilda.

Glad everything went OK in the end, better to be having tea than a swift swig out of a bottle in a brown paper bag eh?

I wish my mum was still here to have a cup of tea with.....

My mums still around, just too far away. Just saying, be thankful for what you have got.

I have a tea caffeine addiction, I sympathise with your DM.

My lovely and amazing chemistry technician makes me tea half way through my 100 min lessons if I am not doing practical, because I get shaky hands!!!!

In fact I tried caffeine free tea last year and she brought me a double espresso as apparently I was grumpy not myself withougt the caffeine!

Tea isn't a lot to ask for to be happy. And my iron levels are fine, I give blood every 16 weeks!

I think your attitude is fine, OP.

Oh dear Lord!

OP wasn´t refusing to make tea-just wanting to wait to make it until her mother actually arrived!

You posters who are addicts-can you wait for the tea to be made upon your arrival, or does it have to be ready & waiting?

Is this the most British thread in the history of MN?

I could wait for it, or even make it myself but I would get ratty if I was getting a low blood caffeine level

I would have put water in the kettle and had the stuff ready but our kettle boils rapidly and I like my tea hot so would want a cup of tea with her when she arrived so wouldn't have put the kettle on to boil until she arrived. Did she really want 30 minute old tea? Yuk.
I think phoning and demanding tea be ready as soon as you get through the door is rude. If a man was doing this or MIL people would say it was unreasonable where as mothers can get away with being demanding dictators.
Yes it's only a cup of tea but the cup of tea is taking precedence over being pleasant to her daughter. No-one should phone someone else up and demand food or drink is available the instant they walk through the door.

Water filtered - check
Kettle full and ready to boil - check
Pot and cups ready - check
Hot, fresh tea ready the nanosecond DM came through the door - epic fail (she was 40 mins past her own TEA ETA)

crazycanuck I admit to being a bit when people US TV talk about morning coffee like it needs to be on an IV as soon as their eyes open. I don't a jones for hot drinks.

HildaHotPants sorry for my assumption, I hope it didn't upset you. We don't all have fantastic and easy going relationships with our parents. I have a number of friends that have a special bond with their mother and it is lovely to see. My DM does not have that sort of relationship with any of her children and I accept the situation without demonising her. DH, DS and I live in a different city to all of our family and 100 miles sometimes feels like 1000. I absolutely love her dearly but don't feel grateful or thankful that she was rude (and is a childish adult).

YABU. She knows you well enough to ask for a cup of tea and that you won't be offended

IWBU

Tea addiction overtook any concern for the feelings of others.

My poor DF - travelling turns into a vicious circle of drinking tea/needing to stop to pee/drinking tea/needing to stop to pee...

nooo, not at all Eggrules, and sorry if I came across as stroppy. I know we can all have a good moan, and I dare say I'd be the same if I lived nearer, or if I had a friend here, who popped in expecting the same! Sorry for side-tracking.

No worries Hilda here is a fresh hot - I even warmed the virtual pot.