to throw out a photo disk, dh's ex?

[uselfullife]

of a lovely holiday they had together?

disclaimer- we are separating, and I'm very annoyed with him right now

agree with SGB, totally.

The best form of revenge is to move on and be the better person for it, not to get bogged down in petty acts like this.

How would you feel about your ex if he destroyed some of your photos???

It hurst like hell but this won't help.

Bit of drip feed but from what I've been able to gather so far I'd say give it back to him. It's his property. Would you destroy a car you knew she had been in with him? Clothes he had worn whilst with her?

You'd probably want to, natural reaction to bein hurt but if you did it you'd just be letting yourself down. Pride yourself with having greater inner strength and maturity than that.

Leave it with him as a lasting reminder of what a shit he's been and move on.

YANBU in thinking about throwing it out but would BU to actually do it. Let life deal with him.

The fact she was the ow makes it quite different. Why didn't you mention that in your op?

He's not worth it, love. Throw it out with the rest of his crap and move on.

I know it's not right
I'm just sick of thinking about it all
everywhere I turn something reminds me of what a shit he's been over the years

Just give him everything that's his in the condition that you found it. It will make you feel better in the long run.

So take ALL of his shit, bag it up & leave it on the doorstep for him to collect.

He sounds like a grade A twat, unsure why you married the fucker tbh but hey you did & hindsight is a wonderful thing-chalk this one up & move on.

'Moving on' is the thing here. By worrying about this sort of decision, you're still allowing him into your emotions. Just keep it neat and clean. 'Mine - stay' 'His - go'.

As far as I'm concerned, you have a 'right' to destroy the picture proof of his cheating on you.

For your own emotional wellbeing though, I think you would do better to declare yourself well rid of this tosser and just get all his shit out of your house and never give him another thought!

I can't believe that he still has a disk of photos of him on holiday with a woman he cheated on you with.

But just put everything of his together and give it back to him. Throwing it out or breaking it might make you feel good for a short time but not in the long run. Being the better person (which doesn't sound difficult in this case) will make you feel better in the end. I can understand completely why you want to throw it out though.

You'll feel a whole lot better when you've moved his shit out and you can start making your home truly yours.

It will give you the comfort and space to heal.

Trust me, I know!...I've been there. (as have quite a few of us here )

I completely agree with Karma, you have every right and reason to want to destroy it.

Just don't. It's still going to exist in your mind whether you smash it to pieces or not, you can't erase what has happened but you can hand all his shit over to him for him to deal with - see it as the problem leaving you and becoming his.

I'm not sure when he copied it to disk actually
I think possbly since we have been married.
Before that they were just on the memory card of an old camera

Don't scratch it or dump it, for your sake not his. Make this the moment you start trying to put all his crap behind you-just let it all go. There's much better symbolism in just handing it over than in dumping or destroying it, if that makes sense.

Just give it back to him, put it in an envelope marked "his name/her name location" and put it amongst the rest of his shit. He's going to know that a) you know it exists and b) you know he carefully saved it but c) you didn't destroy it.

That is going to mess with him far more than wondering where it's got to if you don't return it.

I totally understand why you want to destroy it, but the bigger thing to do would be to just sling all his crap into a binbag and leave it on the doorstep.

Have a hug as well, you sound like you need it!

Just give it back!!

Spiteful, schmiteful. I'd chuck it.

Just give it back with all of his other stuff and get all his crap out your life as quickly as possible.
Don't give in to petty urges and stop wasting your time mulling over revenge tactics, they're beneath you and not worth the energy. Do something nice for yourself instead.

However good you think destroying the disc will make you feel, being able to hold your head high and think "you're a massive wanker, but I am NOT" feels fifty times better. He's lied, cheated and generally been a shit; don't stoop to that level by getting petty and trashing his stuff.

were you the OW if shes an ex? I'm confused.

YANBU to want to chuck it out or chuck it at his head

YWBU to actually do either of those things.

Shove it in a bag of his shite and move on, I'm sure you'll start to feel better once he and all his crap are out of your life. This must be hard and I am sorry you have had to go through it.

Brighteyed, op and her now exdh were together, but not married, when he went on holiday with OW and took the photos. Op found out, he dumped OW, OP married, now they've split and she's found a disc of the holiday snaps from years ago.

If you destroy the disc, you prove that him and her have power over you. Breaking the disc won't give you 'revenge'. You might feel better for 5 mins, but long term no. It will just show you as weak and spiteful.

I totally agree with SGB.

You'll feel better about YOURSELF for having the restraint and ability to take the moral high ground despite all the pain and justification you might have for destroying it.

Move on. Life should be about long term happiness, not about short term victories.