to think that Mumsnet may actually make a great dating website?

[GnocchiNineDoors]

Some of us are single.

Some of us know men that are single.

Surely there could be some sort of blind date topic on here?

"The longer you are with LoveMen the higher standard of man you will receive." I'm wetting myself with laughter now.

Is my postie bottom of the range for new members?

ummm....

Breathing
Clean
Willy
Nice

Thats about it from me.

You see I'd add to that list:

Fresh breath
Doesn't orgasm until he's done his duty first
No farting
If his size isn't great he is an expert at oral sorry lads if you're still reading

I've already had all the men on Mumsnet. They won't want you lot now they've tasted a bit of Tiggy. (Metaphorically). (Mostly).

Yep still here, although I was feeling a bit put off until I read Kewcumber's comment from 23:17.

I thought I could hear a newspaper rustling still

Tiggy, m'dear, either you missed me, or I didn't notice. Lets just say it was the former...

Some guy - which one?

23:17:07 or 23:17:39

If the latter then you may be the first "DVD" of LoveMen

You would notice me Somebloke. I'm 6'6" in heels!

23:17:07 cheered me up, as my oraugutan impressions are rubbish. Could probably lay claim to most of 23:17:39 as well, depending on how you define 'nice'. Does it include chimp impressions? I can manage a passable chimp impression...

Are the chimp impressions compulsory or optional?

I have a divorced brother I could throw into the pot but I'd rather prefer to do it anonymously in case he gets me banned

I'm just going with what seems to be in demand on MN...

I prefer no odd noises from my men personally. But Kewcumber has lower standards I understand

I only know one man capable of monkey\ape impressions and that is Bachelor #2.

I know a good plasterer who could do with a womans touch. he is short, and smokes like a chimney and has children crawling out of the woodwork but if you have bumpy walls and room in your bed he is your man.

What about the pictures on profiles?

My standards are so low I had seriously considered whether "nice" was asking too much. But hey, I'm older and wiser and have decided to aim high these days.

Am starting my dating campaign when school goes back. So far the pool consists of the PTA and sainsburys check-out assistants.

Yeuch, smoking is a no no for me wishes her standards were lower

I really seem to know very few eligible men down my way. I'm clearly not looking hard enough.

Shove up beardythis could be a fun thread to be an observer on

I have pictures Dan considers deleting them

Don't like smoking either - oh lord I'm starting to sound picky now aren't I.

Yeah but you have to kiss them, I do not want to taste that. Bleurgh! That's a turn off, not a turn on I'd need my money back.

My standards aged 18-21 young fit rich male model, not asking much. Must not mind a bit of belly

weeeellllll, technically you don't have to kiss them...

There aren't any profiles. It's just pictures of men in a catalogue. You send your order in with LoveMen and you will receive it in 2-3 working days.

The more men you order the better the standard will be.

There is also a loyalty card. If you have 10 men you get one free that also does the housework!