To think going out with a young baby is really stressful?

[Wigglewoo]

I'm beginning to think I'm the only one who feels like this.

I'm not talking about the essentials like supermarkets or doctors appointments (which is hard enough). I'm talking about "ooh I quite fancy a wander round the shops, I'll go out" type of thing.

My ds is now 10 weeks and everything I've brought in that time has basically been online purchases or essential foodie items. Not once have I felt able to go into town and browse round the clothes shops or even try on a few (desperately needed) new bras...

Maybe I've been unlucky because ds just doesn't sleep longer than 20 mins in a day, save for an hours nap - usually about now- and when he's awake he's not the sort to sit and gawp happily from the buggy and before anyone suggests it, he doesn't like a sling either (tried it and he was most unimpressed)! My dd aged 9 was the same.

When I've talked about this to others they obviously think I'm being daft and don't see why I can't just go out - but where's the fun in going out with a miserable crying baby? Or trying to entertain the baby in the buggy if they are awake whilst frantically trying to look at things in the shop at the same time?? Am I missing something?

Do other people genuinely find it easier than me? I just find my ds crying or being unsettled really stressful and unless I have to go shopping I just can't face it!

YANBU - I hate shopping with a baby, or a toddler for that matter. It's like waiting for a bomb to go off, inevitably when you are in the changing room with a bra fitter too. Possibly the least relaxing thing I can think of to do. Avoid, avoid, avoid !! :)
More to the point - if you don't enjoy it and don't fancy it, don't do it. If you want to get out and about more to the shops or wherever, there are tons of tips here on how to make it easier. It does get easier with practise so if you don't it won't; but if you genuinely would rather go to the park than a shopping centre then just decline the invite.

I agree totally that it depends on the baby. I couldn't really manage much in the way of a 'shopping trip' with dd1 but it would be a doddle with placid little dd2.
Unfortunately I now have toddler dd1 who pulls things off shelves, runs away etc.

Still find it stressful & DD is nearly 2 now. She hated being in the pram, but got slightly better once she was able to sit up. Also helped that from 6 months I could start throwing rice cakes etc at her to keep her occupied!

YANBU. And it definitely depends on the baby. Those people protesting about how easy it is probably had easy babies. I've got three children. I'll happily take dd3 anywhere without batting an eyelid or thinking about it because she's very content and rarely cries. I actively avoided taking dd2 anywhere unless my life depended on it because she cried and whinged everywhere we went!

OP. Have you tried sorting like http://slumber-roo.co.uk/brand/5/babyhawk this ?

Much better than the baba sling and you might mind that your DS is happy to just sit in it :-) mine was at any rate so I tight be worth trying!

That said I never actually managed to try on any clothes but it's still nice to go out and look at things and then when he gets hungry/wants to stretch a bit, you find a nice cafe and feed/change him. It can be relaxing :-)

Oops.. Sorry I'm on the phone. Will try link again
slumber-roo.co.uk/brand/5/babyhawk

It can be worn on the front when your baby is small and then on the back if you want to still wear them when they are older. HTH.

Does he have a dummy? I know some people disapprove but I absolutely love dummies! My babies have only had then for sleep time but in the early months I would use them for something like a shopping trip. A contented baby, snuggled up in the pram and chugging away on the dummy, makes for a peaceful stroll around the shops.

some babies are just more portable than others

Maybe hes picking up on your anxiety? Also if its just grizzly I would just go out anyway tbh

Can I ask what you do with a 10 week old at home that you can't do out? Surely baby doesn't lie on floor the whole time, they can't sit, can't hold things etc.

If they want to see faces, have a pram that faces you.

I think you may be over analysing this - take bottles (or boobs!), nappies, change of clothes and out the door. walk in the park, go to the shops, a friend's house whatever. Get out and about.

To me, sounds like baby is overtired if only sleeping 20mins in daytime. Maybe soothing walk in pram will lull them into deeper sleep? Fingers crossed.

Honestly, you are going to need to get out and socialise as taking toddlers out is a million times worse, they want to run, be into everything, eat every 5min and generally throw tantrums at will.

I remember rushing round the supermarket with ds at exactly the same age while he screamed his head off!
I needed nappies and milk, and so I had this really heavy pram which I couldnt push while holding him, so I had no choice but to finish what I was doing.
The filthy looks I got!
But needs must, and some babies are screamers so what can you do?

I know you say your LO doesn't like the sling, but personally when I discovered the baby bjorn carrier thingy it changed my life, because he loved it, and would look around interestedly, and then sleep.
I used to just strap him on and go for miles. So much easier than a pram.
Can babies see out of slings? Maybe he just really wants to be able to see what is going on better?

Totally understand. I found it a nightmare with my first until she was a bit older. She was a very demanding baby and I really worked myself up about her crying when at shops. I only did it if I was with someone else for a bit of support. It did get easier with time, or perhaps it was just my confidence growing. Was much easier second time around.

Sorry, it doesn't necessarily get easier. I have boys, 5 and 7. They are not good in shops. They have a tendency to hide in clothes racks, we got tuts in the queue at M+S because they were bored and spinning.

I daren't go bra shopping. It's bad enough just walking past. "ha ha - look mum, bras for boobies - ha ha - boobies!"

Etc.

Oh, I completely agree - DD is nearly 6 months and I still prefer to get everything online - from sellotape to baby clothes to DIY bits. If you can make it easier for yourself, then why not?

Our nearest sorting office has cottoned on though, and save up all my parcels for a van delivery every month or so I always worry that the driver thinks I have an online shopping addiction!

Try doing anything with an 7 month old, a 23 month old, a 4 year old with aspergers and a hormonal 11 year old! Honestly some days a trip to the local shop is an ordeal! I feel your pain OP and sympathise greatly!

It depends so much on the child. Mine was placid as anything if he was out and about and could watch everyone. At home, he wailed if anyone ever put him down. So it was usually easier to go out. Having said that, we had a Stokke Xplory (I had bad SPD/PGP which didn't resolve at once, so we got it for that reason) and he used to kick off if he was ever in a buggy lower down. The 2nd gen ones are really cheap now on Ebay as the 3rd gen are out, so maybe give it a go? The thing is, in an Xplory they can see everything as they're up at waist height, and facing you as well. If all I saw were legs rushing towards me I think I'd complain too! (If you live anywhere in the Birmingham/Bristol areas, you can borrow mine for a week or so to check it out? I'm hanging on to it in hopes of a second child, but at the mo it's only gathering dust in the attic!) I just think it turned it into a stimulating activity, but because he always faced me it was also secure. Again this could be purest fluke, but we took an umbrella fold on holiday when he was 8 months and ended up having to carry him everywhere as he was seriously unimpressed, and he always hated car journeys as well. So might be worth a shot at least, if it's remotely feasible financially. Of course, you could find it makes no difference at all, but at least you could sell it on for more or less what you paid, if unused.

And YANBU. Your own baby crying is a horrible, horrible thing to have to listen to.

Oh, and sadly I have to agree with another poster in that shopping is worse now he's too old for a buggy and you need eyes in the back of your head. Food is fine, as he likes the choosing and gets a treat to eat as we go around, but clothes is murder, as he is so tempted by the space below the hanging clothes and obviously it's a lot less automatic on my part, so my attention is more divided. When you're three, it seems it looks like a tunnel! And obviously that's unacceptable. I spend my time managing his behaviour instead of choosing new clothes, so on the "pick your battles" principle, I don't bother and just do online for that. (Oddly enough he behaves impeccably in bookshops. He seems to get why we want to be there, and why we need to inspect the wares prior to purchase, far more than he can with clothes! I suppose books are of interest to a 3 year old, and clothes aren't.)

when I was a new mom I found going out by myself very stressful - I lacked confidence in my skills and felt everyone was judging me. I think only practice and time eases things. so don't feel alone OP.