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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To honestly ask how you cope with angry and aggressive drivers? Warning: slight rant

126 replies

janelikesjam · 22/08/2012 22:35

I like driving. I am a good driver I think and considerate to other drivers. However, all the meany, angry, reckless, speeding drivers are spoiling my day regularly .... they're nearly all men Angry, is it about that I wonder ...

Example tonight. I am driving along the road, doing the actual speed limit. I can't go any faster because the car in front is also doing the actual speed limit too (outrage). And anyway that suits the driving conditions, its dark, its quite busy. p.s. a pedantic point, one of the reasons we have "instructions" about speed limits every minute on the road now is that no-one can be trusted to use their common sense e.g. windy roads, busy built-up areas; anyway I digress.

I feel this impatient jerk (6th sense) behind me in some kind of black sports car number, driving too close to me, but try to ignore. Then all of a sudden he speeds up to me, overtakes on the left, and tries to tear ahead only to be prevented by traffic lights Grin. Idiot. But can anyone tell me what his actual problem is, assuming he is not mentally ill or driving to a hospital emergency? Does such a person think by virtue of being in such a sports car or BMW or mercedes or whatever that speed limits do not apply to him and all the little people should just plain get out of his way.

Anyway, rant over, I suppose....

But honestly, I ask you, how do you deal with this? I have singularly failed to find a zen-like calm on this issue, and I need help.

OP posts:
Alameda · 22/08/2012 23:50

well I'm hoping to get the hang of it one day

am much better than I used to be, having a DVLA medical every year probably helps me in the quest to Be Good. I can't speed through villages these days and am ashamed I ever did. But equally cannot resist getting some fresh air around my wheels on a dry day with a wide open road ahead.

why does it feel so nice?

Empusa · 22/08/2012 23:50

sarges That's awful. Have had that happen to me once, it's bloody frightening. :(

lisad123 · 22/08/2012 23:52

Just keep spraying your window wash, they soon back off Grin
I hate people like that, sadly a cause of my car being written off was a white van driver driving too close and too fast which meant when I braked, he didn't Angry

Alameda · 22/08/2012 23:52

oh good thinking jane maybe I could do a jockey course at Newmarket, do they do them for old people?

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 22/08/2012 23:54

seriously, i despise tail-gaters. so dangerous for everyone else on the road...

so is the hazard thing an approved method, then? i'm always scared of poking the crazy even more.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo · 22/08/2012 23:55

do you mean spray the front window or back. my back kinda dribbles... Grin

Original poster
janelikesjam · 22/08/2012 23:55

Yes, Sarge, I am also shocked at how angry people can be (in the safety of their own cars where they cannot be physically or intellectually challenged, cowards): BTW, if I get a chance I do challenge them, I cannot say its a Zen-like experience as I have said earlier.

But I am still enjoying SMS or STS idea (small-penis-syndrome or small-tits-sydrome). Never heard of the latter, and I have quite large breasts by-the-way, perhaps that is why I have no felt need to charge up a city street at 70 mph etc. to prove that someone wants to fuck me? Isn't that cod psychology though?

OP posts:
Glittertwins · 22/08/2012 23:56

Sarges, I have had the same happen to me only I wasn't able to avoid a collision. The other driver was known to the police and was also driving a car on false plates. The plates were supposed to be on a Ford except it was most definitely a Jaguar car he was driving. He also denied knowing how my car paint ended up on the back of his car too which is somewhat odd given that it is usually the car behind who is innocent party however there was a witness who saw what he did.

lisad123 · 22/08/2012 23:56

Front and back depending on which is better. I mainly use front as it always is aimed slightly at the top of my window and they get splash back Grin

Glittertwins · 22/08/2012 23:57

*car in front, not behind!

Original poster
janelikesjam · 22/08/2012 23:58

Empusa, so he slowed down all the way to about 2 mph

But what I'm dying to know is did he get out and rip the idiot to pieces? Just sayin' ...

OP posts:
Alameda · 22/08/2012 23:58

I don't think I've ever owned a car with a rear wiper

apart from land rovers but they don't count

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 23/08/2012 00:10

A few years back, (probably about 6 years) I was driving at 2am - 2 flipping am the road was empty and I was driving a Nissan Micra -so not a "Race Me" car.

Just off the M74, there was a roundabout (IIRC M80) , there was loads of roadworks, road was twisting but 2 lanes.

There was a lorry right up my jacksey the whole time. There was no need , I was up to limit for the road and the right lane was clear.
So I put my hazard lights on (had my young DC in the car so no place for heroic driving)

The cunt put his headlights on full glare and because of the height, and the darkness in the car, I was dazzled. (several seconds couldn't say how long)

I was on my own so I couldn't get the number but I hope his very SPS falls off

anditwasallyellow · 23/08/2012 00:11

Just laugh at them they obviously have low self esteem/small penises hence why they think they have something to prove with their flashy cars and fast driving.

Original poster
janelikesjam · 23/08/2012 00:12

Anyway, its late in the evening, I literally can't drink anymore horrible pomagne from Tesco. Though I'm tipsy, I'm troubled by patriarchal motivations: speed, women-hatred, ignorance, post-industrialisation (not being ironic here). But I will contemplate the "tiny finger" response in relation to what their problem might be. Thanks folks.

OP posts:
Original poster
janelikesjam · 23/08/2012 00:19

p.s. 70isa, that happened to me. I rode into the next town, and reported his numberplates to the policeman I happened to bump into, pure coincidence byw. Never heard back, needless to say.

BTW, when the lorry driver did that to me, I did slow down big-time at one point. And then (after 20 minutes of aggressive chase) he backed off, very strange. Anyway, I hope whatever haulage company that employed him, hauled him literally over the coals if the police reported it, which I doubt. I was driving myself and my young son at night. I mean who are these wankers? They hide behind their machines or their sad excuse for genatalia (interchangeable in their minds, though, think we have established that). It brings out the feminist in me, bizarely I suppose.

OP posts:
Original poster
janelikesjam · 23/08/2012 00:20

oh, p.s. I reported his number.

OP posts:
Empusa · 23/08/2012 00:21

"But what I'm dying to know is did he get out and rip the idiot to pieces? Just sayin'"

He is far too laid back for that! lol

LastMangoInParis · 23/08/2012 00:22

rode into the next town? Were you in a spaghetti western, jane?

Original poster
janelikesjam · 23/08/2012 00:23

Lu ... uuu... ..... cky you!!!! xx Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
janelikesjam · 23/08/2012 00:26

It felt like it, Last Mango, I think I surprised the police officer in question, he was not used to assertive tourists! I'd laugh about it except I did feel there was some lorry-driver chaser on my tail as per the film I mentioned Duel.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 23/08/2012 00:32

I couldn't report this one because my eyes were still blinded dazzled by his lights in my rear view mirror.
And IIRC it was raining (Glasgow area ,odds on bet). I was just relieved to get distance between us (lorry overtook me and sped off)

But, on one occasion (DH was in the car) and there was an Eddie Stobbart lorry right up my back. I was in the middle lane, there was a car in front of me and the left lane was chocka.

ES lorry was all flash-flash blast-blast even though it was obvious I had two massive car seats in the back.

DH took the number plate and the cab number (and there was a name on it).
He emailed ES head office and .... heard nothing Angry Sad

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 23/08/2012 00:33

Oh, Duel is that Dennis (?Weaver)

Brilliant film but Shock

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 23/08/2012 00:34

I shout really rude words at them cunt!
I drive a really battered old car. One day when there are no kids in the car, I will slam the brakes on and let one of the fuckers hit me! The satisfaction would be IMMENSE!

Original poster
janelikesjam · 23/08/2012 00:39

Hahaha Saggy.

70isa, yes that is the film, Duel, though I have not seen it for 20 years or so. I am typing very slowly now, lol. But truly, I do believe if someone is seriously tailgaiting you, to take their number. I made my son do it and he reported it to the police officer (bless). Its serious aggression (in my mind) to come up to your bumper in that way, esp. they know you're a woman with a child, I mean FFS.

OP posts: