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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To honestly ask how you cope with angry and aggressive drivers? Warning: slight rant

126 replies

janelikesjam · 22/08/2012 22:35

I like driving. I am a good driver I think and considerate to other drivers. However, all the meany, angry, reckless, speeding drivers are spoiling my day regularly .... they're nearly all men Angry, is it about that I wonder ...

Example tonight. I am driving along the road, doing the actual speed limit. I can't go any faster because the car in front is also doing the actual speed limit too (outrage). And anyway that suits the driving conditions, its dark, its quite busy. p.s. a pedantic point, one of the reasons we have "instructions" about speed limits every minute on the road now is that no-one can be trusted to use their common sense e.g. windy roads, busy built-up areas; anyway I digress.

I feel this impatient jerk (6th sense) behind me in some kind of black sports car number, driving too close to me, but try to ignore. Then all of a sudden he speeds up to me, overtakes on the left, and tries to tear ahead only to be prevented by traffic lights Grin. Idiot. But can anyone tell me what his actual problem is, assuming he is not mentally ill or driving to a hospital emergency? Does such a person think by virtue of being in such a sports car or BMW or mercedes or whatever that speed limits do not apply to him and all the little people should just plain get out of his way.

Anyway, rant over, I suppose....

But honestly, I ask you, how do you deal with this? I have singularly failed to find a zen-like calm on this issue, and I need help.

OP posts:
Redbindy · 22/08/2012 23:03

Dear janeslikesjam - sorry for the misunderstanding, he was obviously a word that begins with cun. I've never found anything in Zen to help in situations like this, but natural apple juice fermented into cider often helps.

TandB · 22/08/2012 23:06

What does entertain me is when the motorway is moving slowly and some twat seems to assume that, despite the 50 cars in front of you in the outside lane, you alone are the reason he is being forced to do 40, so he is entirely justified in driving about 2 inches from your bumper while mouthing and gesticulating.

My car doesn't look like it has good acceleration but it does. So as soon as the traffic clears, I floor it up to whatever speed I want to be, pull in to the middle lane and wait for my tailgater to drag himself up to speed and roar past, glaring and ranting.

And then I give him a little smile and a wave.

NapaCab · 22/08/2012 23:06

Ha! Love SPS - a good description for these drivers Hope.

I had this happen to me the other day. Just pulled out of my junction as the road was clear, except for a car barely visible on the horizon. Next thing I know he - yes of course he was male - was driving right up behind me, tailgating me, so was clearly driving about 60 in a 30mph zone. We were about to get onto a dual carriageway but instead of waiting for the lanes to open up he just undertook me on the hard shoulder and sped off at 50-60mph!! Thankfully the it was just wide enough or he'd have had me off the road. Unbelievable.

I think these guys need to be the ones to find their zen while the rest of us get on with driving like normal people. Eventually the memory of my encounters with such severe cases of SPS fades, to be replaced by whatever the next road rage experience is.

baffledmum · 22/08/2012 23:09

Can I make you laugh? Having been road raged by a parent from my DD1's school and feeling extremely annoyed by it, I gave it a week and then approached the parent in the playground. I asked them if they were okay and apologised for giving them a fright. I then explained - they were dumbstruck - that I struggle to lip read but had been quite surprised to deduce the wods "stupid b*h" and a raised middle finger as they passed me. The parent apologised, told me that he should know better as he is a policeman and I now have the satisfaction of knowing that I stood up to the idiot. I also have a good laugh at dinner parties telling the story. Apologies if this is your DH, but he also told me that his wife had warned him that one day he'd get more than be bargained for.

LastMangoInParis · 22/08/2012 23:11

Assume that said arsehole is driving like that because that's as fast as his knackered little penis substitute rust bucket will go.
Feel the powerful purr of my gorgeous little motor and remember that with power comes responsibility.
(And yes, love it when it's time to accelerate and I can leave the fuckers trundling along light years behind, Grin)

Original poster
janelikesjam · 22/08/2012 23:12

Weirdly enough, Alameda, you may know the film Duel by Speilberg about a lorry driver who relentlessly pursues a car(and this has happened to me by the way recently). I have also done the reverse on rare zoccasion, as you have, let the car overtake me and then let him know how it feels.

OP posts:
Original poster
janelikesjam · 22/08/2012 23:14

The weird thing is, though, because i am such a good driver I always get ahead of them without even trying, because my acutal brain is engaged I guess, rather than a particularly tiny and ineffectual dick, probably, the reason, just guessing like I said...

OP posts:
LastMangoInParis · 22/08/2012 23:14

Oh yes, and do feel sorry for the little idiots for the damage they're doing to their cars as well as the danger they're dreating for everyone else

DuelingFanjo · 22/08/2012 23:15

i usually sing a song which goes something like 'oh you bloody mother fucker, i won't fucking move, oh no i won't you big twat, i won't move, you can drive up my arse you fucking bellend, go on go on keep on doing it i don't fucking care... OOOOOHH you bloody mother fucker, you big ugly twat, i don't give a shit, OOOOhhh no I don't, you stupid arse you stupid shit oh oh oh I don't care, tra la la' and I waggle my head around and wave my hand and nod my head so they can see how much fun I am having and then if they over/under take me I wave and smile and sometimes I hold up my little finger to show them just how teeny tiny their penis is.

owever DS is 20 months now so I may have to start cutting out the swear words.

Alameda · 22/08/2012 23:15

don't know the film, no, but am looking it up now

Trebuchet · 22/08/2012 23:16

I simply grin and say, no, no I insist, after you!! It makes me laugh!! If tailgating I put hazards on and slooooow right down

Alameda · 22/08/2012 23:16

ah it is the same age as me!

Debeez · 22/08/2012 23:26

"My car doesn't look like it has good acceleration but it does. So as soon as the traffic clears, I floor it up to whatever speed I want to be, pull in to the middle lane and wait for my tailgater to drag himself up to speed and roar past, glaring and ranting." I hear you KungFu

I drive a Prius. But it's only electric when it needs to be. Still a 1.8. Sticks to the road like shit to a blanket.

I have burned up several "big men" in the exact same scenario as you.

I hate the notice one lane ahead is closed and try to avoid the queue by driving right up to it before trying to get in brigade. Seriously. We're mostly British FFS. Get in the queue and love it!

Glittertwins · 22/08/2012 23:32

Kungfu, snap on the car front...we have a people carrier. It just happens to be a very fast one (factory standard) which most idiots don't realise until I put my foot down and leave them behind Grin when it's safe to do so.

TerraNotSoFirma · 22/08/2012 23:36

I can't actually drive but this happened when I was a passenger.

Hideous accident had closed the road into my hometown, road closed, had been in the tailback for hours. DS was 8 weeks old at the time, I took him out of the car seat and placed him on the passenger seat to change his nappy, cars moved forward about 5ft,car behind me starts beeping the horn and shouting at me to move.
I indicated that I would be 5 mins, he then gets out of the car, storms up shouting at me to move the fucking car you fucking bitch. I did try to explain that the tiny baby needed his nappy changed and that another couple of minutes would make no odds.
Still he went on at me until DH got out of the car and told him to fuck off. I was sorely tempted to rub the dirty nappy in his face, the twat.

Debeez · 22/08/2012 23:36

Glittertwins I am loving the idea of all these mumsnetters driving really discreet top gear cool wall worthy cars.

Original poster
janelikesjam · 22/08/2012 23:39

On a serious note. Are alot of men built for speed, or just wankers i.e. can't control their seed? Driving seems to awaken a deep feminist sense in me, that not everything is a race to the nihilistic finish basically. I see male drivers pursue that madness with each other in a way that is almost insane hopping in and out of motorway lanes for example, but I also see the hatred unleased when the realise the existence of the "woman-driver" in front of them has the temerity to respect speed limits i.e. other drivers's safety. Perhaps I should do a thesis?

OP posts:
Glittertwins · 22/08/2012 23:41

Most people don't notice the small badge on the back that tells you it a wolf in a sheepskin ;) The only other person that spotted it was a car mad friend of ours. If you're a real car geek, it's easy to tell by the colour as it is specific only to the souped up model. It was on Top Gear. Clarkson couldn't deal with getting the 3rd row of seats up and had to suffer the "indignity" of a female member of the studio audience to show him how to do it.

Alameda · 22/08/2012 23:42

well I'm not a man but I find speeding thrilling and addictive, have had to work really hard (that is not even true, why do I lie? have just been expensively caught a few times) to get it under control

it's not just cars, I have the same trouble on horses

but I don't hate other drivers or anything like that, I just think moving at speed is one of my favourite feelings

Sargesaweyes · 22/08/2012 23:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LastMangoInParis · 22/08/2012 23:46

Love speed, too, Alameda - horses and cars. But I know how to do both properly, and when to do both properly. (As I'm sure you do...)

MrMiyagi · 22/08/2012 23:47

I get tailgates sometimes (I'm a "limit, not a target" sort of driver) and to he honest, I think more about the road and conditions than the other driver's genitalia

MrMiyagi · 22/08/2012 23:47

Get tailgated

Original poster
janelikesjam · 22/08/2012 23:47

Do you feel everything is a race to the nihilistic finish, Alameda, just askin'?!

What about competiitive motor-race driving or horse-racing, have you thought of that?

OP posts:
Empusa · 22/08/2012 23:49

My brother was being tailgated once, unfortunately for the tailgater it was on a road with parked cars down both sides and therefore absolutely no way to overtake, and my brother is a contrary little git. So he slowed down, and down, and down... apparently he went all the way down this road at about 2 mph Grin

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