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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you all if the withdrawal method works?

151 replies

Tizzylizzy · 21/08/2012 15:02

My period is a couple a days late...don't think I am pregnant but I was just wondering if anyone else relies solely on this form of contraception, and how effective it's been over the years? It's never failed me yet...

OP posts:
Original poster
Tizzylizzy · 21/08/2012 19:55

The worst is when 'it' ends up in your belly button.

OP posts:
yellowraincoat · 21/08/2012 20:07

Old t-shirt. Spare boxers. Stomach of either partner.

Jizztastic.

LegArmpits · 21/08/2012 20:07

Hmmm. It has worked for us too, for about five six years, with two very planned babies in between...

It is a bit of a worry though. shamefaced

Ismeyes · 21/08/2012 20:13

We use it because I would prefer to take the risk of an unplanned pregnancy than endure the hell that is hormonal contraception and we don't like condoms. Its worked for us for 6 years now.

Socknickingpixie · 21/08/2012 20:18

i dont use withdrawal but do use natural family planning they are both different one (nfp) if used correctly is effective the other isant

Mumsyblouse · 21/08/2012 20:24

I have to laugh at the people who say they used withdrawal and had two babies using it. Did you not realise after the first time it wasn't the method for you?!

diabolo · 21/08/2012 20:25

Yep - I stopped after the first baby.

PatronSaintOfDucks · 21/08/2012 20:44

I used the withdrawal method for years with two different partners and never got pregnant when using it. My DS was planned. In both cases, the men never failed to pull out on time, and we never went for "seconds" without a, errrrr, proper wash. Blush

I think it would be really useful if the people who post to say that they did get pregnant while using the withdrawal method also said how religiously they adhered to it, i.e. were there any incidents of not actually withdrawing on time, etc. It would give a fuller picture of the effectiveness of the method and its pitfalls.

The important thing, however, is that the men really need to be committed and have the ability to control themselves every time.

FallenCaryatid · 21/08/2012 20:45

It is known as Vatican Roulette by Catholics of my aquaintance.

QOD · 21/08/2012 20:47

My friend uses that method. It works really well for them.

I mean they've definitely had sex more than 4 times.

They have 6 kids . . . 4 were surprises

Mumsyblouse · 21/08/2012 20:56

The chances, given even the worst rate possible of 75% success in a year, of having four babies if you are properly using the method must be absolutely miniscule.

Clearly if they had four babies, he wasn't withdrawing!

Original poster
Tizzylizzy · 21/08/2012 20:56

I agree Patron

OP posts:
Mumsyblouse · 21/08/2012 21:03

It's like the condom. If you use a condom properly, and check it hasn't split, and if it has then take the morning after pill immediately, then it's a pretty good method (in the above 90% range). I also used this method for many years without getting pregnant.

But, if you mean sometimes we used condoms, but sometimes we didn't bother, and if it split, we just hoped for the best, then it's not that reliable.

People don't necessarily tell the truth (or are aware) about how well they have used their condoms/took their Pill at the exact same time every day/withdrew every time. I have a friend who wasn't trying for a baby, indeed had discussed it with her horrid boyfriend who said no, but when I really questioned her, they weren't using any contraception at all, not even withdrawal. Now that is playing roulette (and luckily she didn't get pregnant). But in her mind, she wasn't trying for a baby, and if she had done, she would have said it was a 'surprise'. I wouldn't have been surprised!

Softlysoftly · 21/08/2012 21:13

We've used it for 16 years, three pregnancies (2DCs), all planned all conceived within 2 months of not withdrawing so very fertile.

I can't take hormones and it only works if your partned has good control and seperate towels for guests/DCs Grin.

I am going to have to look at something else though as there is always the edge of doubt so would only use if pregnancy wasn't the end of the world.

Malificence · 21/08/2012 21:13

Seems like a good way to a. get pregnant and b. ruin sex.

Halfling · 21/08/2012 21:34

It works very well for my DH & I. No accidents in 10 years so far. DS was a planned baby, conceived in the second month of ttc.

DH prefers withdrawal to using condoms and I am not keen on pills and coil (have had bad reactions to both). Only once has DH been unable to control ejaculation before withdrawing and I took a morning after pill just in case.

It is not very messy if you keep a box of tissues/wipes handy.

bubalou · 21/08/2012 21:46

Heehee - I don't remember that being an option for birth control?

  • pill
  • coil
  • condoms
  • injection
  • relying on man to pull it out in time
Grin
Mumsyblouse · 21/08/2012 22:09

I don't want to go into technical detail, but all those saying it must be less fun or that a man can't pull out in time obviously haven't got a partner who is very in control, even men can have multiple orgasms (without ejaculating) if they practice enough! It's also interesting that most that have replied have used this method for many years, suggesting they have had an active sex life for many years. Go figure!

DrCoconut · 21/08/2012 23:07

It doesn't always work, I have DS1 despite it! And he's fab, wouldn't be without him.

BelieveInPink · 21/08/2012 23:52

I don't like the pill being in my system, or condoms, or any other method of contraception so we have always used natural family planning and withdrawal method. I know my cycle inside out. 12 years later and we've had two planned babies. No unplanned babies in that time.

That said, if I absolutely did not want to get pregnant I would look into something else. It wouldn't be the end of the world if I did fall pregnant so I'm happy to continue as we are, it's never let us down yet.

Feel a bit for DH sometimes but he doesn't mind.

Krumbum · 21/08/2012 23:57

How does it ruin sex? I think it's not to be relied on to protect pregnancy but how does it ruin sex?

marymary40 · 22/08/2012 00:00

Oh god dont say that - i use a combination of the withdrawal and rhythm (sure that is spelt wrong but not sure where!) and to be honest it has serve me well for a few years but I do worry. I worry eapecially as i am now nearly 41 and i have heard as you get older it is more difficult to predict your cycle.

I hav tried the pill and just do not feel 'myself' on it. Which makes me thin I will be crap with all the other hormonal stuff. Dh is not keen on condoms - well isd any man.

I think reading these posts it is somthing we need to revisit as I def do notwant more babies - dh is keener - but he is not the one carrying and feeding!!!

Krumbum · 22/08/2012 00:04

Marymary, men who respect your body don't argue over condoms, they Just use them.
If you really don't want a baby then you need condoms and maybe the copper coil? It is non hormonal, or a diaphragm.
Or just having other types of sex that dont risk pregnancy.

Noqontrol · 22/08/2012 00:05

We used it for ten years, no accidents. When we tried for dc then got pg first time with each.

Ample · 22/08/2012 00:18

A friend at uni sweared by it (I can recall being Hmm at the time). She had been dating a guy for years and she never became pregnant, although she did suspect at one point that perhaps she wasn't ovulating properly.
Anyway I digress.
Turned out it was just him.The method wasn't so effective with her next bf.

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