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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get upset when people are nasty about ginger hair?

101 replies

littlemisssunny · 21/08/2012 12:32

So obviously I have ginger hair, and I have always had people take the mick out of me for it.

Don't get me wrong I can take a joke, I went to see Jimmy Carr and he asked if there was anyone with ginger hair, and when we shouted yes, he said at least we have the problem contained, which I knew was a joke and thought was hilarious.

However what winds me up is when people say things like 'oh you must be really relieved your children don't have your hair colour' and 'you must hate your hair colour' etc. I don't mind what colour my children's hair is, I am just extremely grateful to have 2 children after going through a hard time to get them.

Even my own husband winds me up about it, and he knows I am sensitive about it, and says he is only joking, I thought a joke was meant to be funny!

Just feeling a bit wound up about it as a friend who used to cut my hair just got back from a hol and said her hair has started to turn ginger in the sun and she is going to have to colour it straight away! Charming!

OP posts:

wimblehorse · 21/08/2012 14:45

LadyWellian I think I use "strawberry blonde" as a kind of attempt to ease DH into accepting the ginger!

But there IS such a variety of red hair colours, from a sort of cate blanchette not-quite-blonde to deep auburn. What colours are allowed to exist in your dd's friends' world?

Original poster

littlemisssunny · 21/08/2012 14:45

Awww dappyhays that is a lovely thing for your daughter to do!

OP posts:

wimblehorse · 21/08/2012 14:47

Dappy I think that's their point - they don't know of anyone on their side of the family with ginger hair. Although I guess that must just be because it's recessive so if they've never had children with another one it wouldn't show.

Agree what a sweet thing for your daughter to do

LadyWellian · 21/08/2012 14:59

Wimblehorse it's all ginger as far as DD's friends are concerned!

Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 15:18

Dappy, that's a great thing for your DD to do! Good for her :)

DappyHays · 21/08/2012 15:27

Thanks ladies . My DD is nearly 8 and the reason she's doing this is because her granda is getting chemo just now and has lost all his hair. She's meeting me in half an hour with her new do, my mum has taken her to the salon.

Serendipity30 · 21/08/2012 15:31

I think it all stems from underlying racism from english people. As red hair seems to be more prevelant in scotish and irish people. I think this historical racism is just ingrained. Just watched brave with my dd and very glad main character has red hair, makes a nice change.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/08/2012 16:46

I will stand up and say that I don't care for ginger hair. I don't hate it but I don't love it and falsely enthuse about it either. It's a hair colour for goodness sakes. It makes no difference to the quality of the person whatsoever.

I wouldn't notice a person with ginger or red or brown or blonde or black hair any more than any other. I think children should be taught that; not have people gushing over them for something that isn't an achievement, it's there by dint of birth.

arthurfowlersallotment · 21/08/2012 17:01

My photos are open- you can see how delightful my red head baby is :o

Stokey38 · 21/08/2012 17:11

arthur your baby is beautiful!

arthurfowlersallotment · 21/08/2012 17:12

Thanks Stokey :o

Krumbum · 21/08/2012 17:31

Yanbu, I don't have red hair but I can't understand why people are so vicious about it. It seems to be even worse for men to have it. People will say lily cole etc are beautiful but I've been told by so many people they think all ginger men are gross. It's ridiculous.

Ephiny · 21/08/2012 17:48

YANBU. Personally I think red hair can be beautiful, but even if it's not someone's favourite colour that's no excuse for the unpleasant and frankly bizarre comments some people feel the need to make!

I just don't understand it at all.

EcoLady · 21/08/2012 17:59

Big Wow! to Dappy's DD for doing such a lovely selfless thing

DappyHays · 21/08/2012 23:48

DD's new bob is lovely and the pony tail is ready for me to post tomorrow. The charity is The Little Princess Trust in case anyone is thinking of doing the same. Sorry for hijack.

DappyHays · 21/08/2012 23:51

...of course I'm now imagining a poor bald kid getting the ginger wig and saying "no thanks I'll stick with being baldy"....

I have a sick mind, I know

Original poster

littlemisssunny · 21/08/2012 23:52

No need to apologise Dappy hijack away! I bet you are very proud of your daughter such a kind thing to do.

OP posts:

CaliforniaLeaving · 22/08/2012 01:46

My red haired baby turned into a dishwater blond as a teen, I was very sad to see the red grow out.
I'm red (this month) I really like it, suits my pale skin and blue hazel eyes better than the natural black brown that is now going horribly grey.
I don't get why red hair is some sort of national joke, it's a hair colour and a nice one with so many shades. It's bizarre.

WorraLiberty · 22/08/2012 01:53

I think those who are comparing dyed red hair to naturally ginger hair are missing the point entirely.

I was born with brunette hair and have died it red for around 28yrs.

But I've never died it ginger (for me ginger means orange and not red) and even if I did dye it ginger, I wouldn't have done that as a child...nor would I necessarily have had the pale skin, freckles and ginger eyebrows/eyelashes that some ginger people have.

So it doesn't really compare to asking your hairdresser to put a colour on your brown/blonde/brunette colour hair.

I agree with lying on this...it really is just a hair colour and people will either like it or they won't....the same as they'll like or not like any other hair colour.

Picking on anyone for their appearance is wrong though.

NurseBernard · 22/08/2012 03:31

I don't have strong feelings either way about red. I don't like nor dislike it any more than brunette hair or blonde hair. It's a hair colour.

And on that note, I think the insincere-sounding gushing some people do over red hair is downright patronising and over-compensating. I'd be like 'alright....?!' if people went on that way about my hair.

A stunna is a stunna, regardless of their hair colour. If you're beautiful, you'll look beautiful regardless of whether your hair is red, white or blue.

To be honest, I wouldn't be partial towards actual orange hair, just the same way I wouldn't be partial to mousy-brown hair, or dirty/ash-blonde hair. Not all shades are created equal.

I'm also surprised that red dye is the most popular dye colour; isn't blonde? Given that all people who once had a flicker of blonde hair in their toddler years and like to cling onto it for dear life into adulthood and so buy up blonde dye, plus all the other hair-coloured-people who would rather be blonde use it, it seems to me like it would be more popular. I certainly say way more people with blonde/honey/caramel highlights than red/ginger ones.

But, OP - YANBU, I really don't get why it comes in for such flack. As I say, it's just a hair colour...

5dcsinneedofacleaner · 22/08/2012 05:18

I have red hair and three red headed girls ( out of 5). i had a few little jokes as a child but nothing i really evenn registered. The first time i have ever heard anything was walking along the street with my three year old who had red curly hair.i had my hair covered at the time but she didnt and a car (boy racer type full of teenage boys) beeped us and shouted ginger based insults. Realistically though the kind of people who do that to a three year old - do u care NO!.

Most people love ger hair in fact whever we get i nthe bus there are clusters if elderly women fussing over her

redexpat · 22/08/2012 09:29

It is a perculiarly British thing. In Denmark it is an honour to have a baby with red hair. MIL and FIL keep saying of blond DS 'ooh his hair might still change colour'.

Americans love it too.

Only in Britain do strangers ask you on the street if you have ginger pubes. Yes really. That really happens.

5dcsinneedofacleaner · 22/08/2012 09:47

my father has spent alot of time in china (he also has red hair) and in certain areas people keep asking to touch his hair as its considered really lucky!

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 22/08/2012 10:01

I was still getting ginger-related abuse hurled at me from car windows when I was 17 (by adults, no less). YADNBU, it winds me right up.

DappyHays · 22/08/2012 10:08

When DD1 was just over a year we went to Houston to visit family. Every time we were out she drew lots of attention from the locals asking about her hair. Many wanted to touch it for good luck (!).

At home, when she was a baby, my mum and I would be in the food court of the shopping centre and as soon as we popped her hat off there would be an old lady or two over to give her £1 "for her pram". We used to joke that if we sat there long enough we'd be able to pay for lunch. I felt awful taking the £1s but the old biddies would insist saying it was lucky. This didn't happen with DD2 who isn't ginger.

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