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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get upset when people are nasty about ginger hair?

101 replies

littlemisssunny · 21/08/2012 12:32

So obviously I have ginger hair, and I have always had people take the mick out of me for it.

Don't get me wrong I can take a joke, I went to see Jimmy Carr and he asked if there was anyone with ginger hair, and when we shouted yes, he said at least we have the problem contained, which I knew was a joke and thought was hilarious.

However what winds me up is when people say things like 'oh you must be really relieved your children don't have your hair colour' and 'you must hate your hair colour' etc. I don't mind what colour my children's hair is, I am just extremely grateful to have 2 children after going through a hard time to get them.

Even my own husband winds me up about it, and he knows I am sensitive about it, and says he is only joking, I thought a joke was meant to be funny!

Just feeling a bit wound up about it as a friend who used to cut my hair just got back from a hol and said her hair has started to turn ginger in the sun and she is going to have to colour it straight away! Charming!

OP posts:
gallifrey · 21/08/2012 13:05

My 16 month old beautiful baby girl has ginger hair, a few people have commented on it and they have all said it's beautiful, I haven't had any negative comments at all about it.

I am slightly worried that she will get teased at school though.

HecateHarshPants · 21/08/2012 13:06

Grin arthur

PeshwariNaan · 21/08/2012 13:07

I think it's completely bizarre how nasty people are about ginger hair here!

I'm ginger and growing up in the US people would often stop my parents and say how beautiful my hair was. It's a positive thing there.

What is going to piss me off more than anything is if someone were to make a comment about my child - "oh, she can dye it when she's older" as I heard one lady say once.

Just let them try it with me - then they will see that fiery temper redheads are famous for!!!

WorraLiberty · 21/08/2012 13:10

arthur Grin

What I find extraordinary about these threads is that so many people say they've had negative comments about ginger hair, yet hardly anyone on Mumsnet says they don't like the colour.

In fact, some of the posts tend to positively gush about how marvelous the colour is.

So where are all the people who dislike ginger hair? Do they just not post on MN? Confused

sweetkitty · 21/08/2012 13:10

I love ginger hair, my friends babies hair has just started to grow and it's stunning. It's so eye catching amongst all the blondes and brunettes. DD3s hair was blonde but now has red streaks in it, so suits her.

Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 13:13

YANBU. There is really nothing to "joke" about - and your DH isn't "joking", he's taunting you which is unkind and unnecessary.

I grew up as the only ginger-haired person in my family and both my brother and sister used it as stick to beat me with, as well as various ignorant knobends at school and when I was an adult.

Even DH (although he soon learnt his mistake!) said he was glad that DS didn't have red/ginger hair, because "it's so much worse for boys" Hmm - MIL also had dark red hair when she was younger! He says that he likes it fine on girls but boys get picked on (in Australia) and called things like "Blue", "Red dog" and "Ranga" (short for orangutan).

Now pg again and I really hope that the baby has red hair. I love it now although hated it as a child because of all the taunting - and while I don't want any child of mine to suffer for it, it's a lovely colour to have and be proud of.

badtime · 21/08/2012 13:14
Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 13:17

Worra, the first few threads that I saw on ginger hair on MN did have posters who came on and made unpleasant comments about it - either those posters have now left, or they don't bother any more. But they certainly did post and were jumped on from a great height, iirc.

One poster, whose name I cannot remember at all, said that one of her DC had red hair and they'd always teased him about it so that he got used to all the names and didn't react to them - I found that quite sad, actually, that he wasn't even "safe" from taunting at home.

MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler · 21/08/2012 13:19

I am a ginga! My PFB was blonde. I had no idea where she could have come from. My second and third are both ginger.

Anyone asks my DD2 what colour her hair is and she says 'Ginger and gorgeous'. She is confident of this, not just because of me, but because so many people tell her how gorgeous she is. My DS is also slightly ginger, but less than she is.

MY DD1 has gone from light blonde to more 'honey blonde' in time I have hope of 'strawberry blonde'.

I think I am pretty much guaranteed ginger grandchildren(eventually). Grin

Debeez · 21/08/2012 13:19

YANBU

"Now I don't use her I get hairdressers saying people try to get their hair my colour! And you can't get my colour in a bottle."

I am one of those people. Come from a family of gingers, I am the reddish brunette sheep. What I would give to be a proper red head. I have skin tone and the green eyes. I dye my hair ginger.

DP is a gorgeous ginger, and DS born as a dirty blonde is developing a lovely red flash of hair down the middle of his head.

DP also comes from a family of gingers and we are (rather superficially I know) rather excited about having more gingers together.

"'oh you must be really relieved your children don't have your hair colour' and 'you must hate your hair colour'"

You can colour over ginger if you really want but you can't cover over being a nasty person.

0lympia · 21/08/2012 13:20

to go back to the short comparison... I bring this up only to show that red hair is not the only gene that is considered inferior. All the time I get told/encouraged to wear heels (by friends) and I'm told alternatively that my children are short like me (with an aw god bless them, hate that smile) or that they're 'lucky' they're not short like I am.

Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 13:20

love that song, badtime - it's my favourite. :)

ChuggaChuggaChooChoo · 21/08/2012 13:25

I love red hair and wish I had it. My hair gets a tiny hint of auburn in it when I've been in the sun but it's not enough. I'd have my hair properly dyed to red if I thought I'd be any good at keeping the roots maintained. DH also loves red hair, we both have recessive red hair genes in our family trees but neither of us are lucky enough to have it, but we've calculated that we have a 15% ish chance of having a redhaired DC (as we don't know whether or not we both have the recessive gene ourselves).

TBH I think anti-red-headedness is actually vestigial racism against celtic people, and those who express negative feelings towards it shouldbe as ostracised and criticised as those who dislike brown skin.

WorraLiberty · 21/08/2012 13:25

Ahh I missed that one Thumbwitch

I've only seen very positive comments about ginger hair

And some bordering on obsessive Lol!

JustinBoobie · 21/08/2012 13:26

I love ginger hair... I think it's wonderful...

JessieEssex · 21/08/2012 13:26

My 2yo DD has the most beautiful hair colour - it's kind of an apricot colour and I really hope that she loves it. I have had a few jokes made about it to me, which don't really bother me, but the thought of her being bullied for it is horrible. Thankfully she is shaping up to be a very feisty little madam who will give as good as she gets!

Original poster
littlemisssunny · 21/08/2012 13:31

Thanks for that link badtime it's great!

OP posts:
MyDogShitsMoney · 21/08/2012 13:32

Badtime you got there first!

If DS's hair stays the colour it is now I am so teaching him Grin

cakeismysaviour · 21/08/2012 13:33

I was bullied very badly over my red hair at school. :(

As an adult, I recieve loads of compliments on it.

My DS also has red hair and also recieves compliments on it. Only negative comment was from a young boy of about 6 who pointed at baby DS in his buggy and laughed at the 'poor ginger kid'.

The boy's father looked over and laughed as well! Angry

Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 13:33

Was a few years ago, Worra - I think around the time that the Tesco anti-ginger "humour" card came up?

LadyWellian · 21/08/2012 13:38

There's an advert on the side of my page (though I appreciate it might not be on everyone's) for Nelly.com, and the model's hair is similar to my DD's, only a bit lighter and not as long.

DD's hair is spectacular and is universally loved by adults - often complete strangers compliment her on it.

The only comments we get are 'where did she get it from' - actually my Dsis has quite similar but as we live hunderds of miles apart and few of our friends know her, I usually joke that the postman had the same hair colour (he did).

Yet at school, she gets unpleasant comments all the time.

So what happens to these children that are teasing her? Do they see the error of their ways as they grow up?

EcoLady · 21/08/2012 13:44

If anyone comments in any way on my DS's foxy hair, I always reply with "Yes, it's gorgeous isn't it?" and a huge smile. Derails any possible negativity in its tracks.

Squirrellywoo · 21/08/2012 13:46

YANBU. My baby girl has red hair - i hate to think that one day someone might be nasty to her because of her hair colour. However in 9 months, i have rarely heard any negative comments. Although it is a talking point, for sure.

Just one incident sticks in mind. I was with my NCT group and someone unthinkingly announced that she was devastated that her baby's hair was 'turning ginger'. That stung a bit. Especially when everyone jumped in to reassure that of course things weren't that bad/ don't worry-it's just the light today etc etc.

Peshwari - on holiday in the US, people were so positive about her hair colour. She was like catnip for older American women, who just fawned over her. So refreshing!

brighthair · 21/08/2012 13:49

Red, corkscrew curls here. And tall. And glasses. No hope for me Grin
I have the porcelain freckled skin and green eyes.
People have been shitty about it all through school and I've been shouted stuff about my skin tone too "put some fake tan on"
Today someone took the piss out of my lipstick Sad I'm wearing bright pink and it's fecking fabulous

DoMeDon · 21/08/2012 13:51

There are shades of red I wouldn't choose. I don't like all red hair. Sorry. But I would NEVER comment and there are lots of others I dislike more. My own personal 'mouse' colour is the worst hair colour IMO.