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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get upset when people are nasty about ginger hair?

101 replies

littlemisssunny · 21/08/2012 12:32

So obviously I have ginger hair, and I have always had people take the mick out of me for it.

Don't get me wrong I can take a joke, I went to see Jimmy Carr and he asked if there was anyone with ginger hair, and when we shouted yes, he said at least we have the problem contained, which I knew was a joke and thought was hilarious.

However what winds me up is when people say things like 'oh you must be really relieved your children don't have your hair colour' and 'you must hate your hair colour' etc. I don't mind what colour my children's hair is, I am just extremely grateful to have 2 children after going through a hard time to get them.

Even my own husband winds me up about it, and he knows I am sensitive about it, and says he is only joking, I thought a joke was meant to be funny!

Just feeling a bit wound up about it as a friend who used to cut my hair just got back from a hol and said her hair has started to turn ginger in the sun and she is going to have to colour it straight away! Charming!

OP posts:
MadBusLady · 21/08/2012 13:53

I genuinely find this weird. My dad has red hair (well, white hair now actually) and I was at least twelve before I realised there was supposed to be anything even faintly worthy of remark about it. I cannot think how it came about, or who the hell is so unquestioning as to keep it going. It's not even like it's that different. There are just so many hair colours, and everything else colours. It was like suddenly realising that everyone had a prejudice against narrow wrists or something.

Mumsyblouse · 21/08/2012 13:53

Worra, it's not so much as I'm positive about red hair (I am though because I love my own colour) its just I've not had any negative remarks about it since I was a child, and every child was teased about something, so I didn't really mind about it. I haven't really experienced what the OP says, certainly not as an adult.

There are lots of pluses as an adult with red hair: people always remember you, mine is not remotely gray in my early forties whereas most of my darker hairer friends have been dying their hair for years, and I get complimented on it a lot.

I don't think it's strange on a thread in which OP states lots of people hate her hair colour, that lots of other people then say they like the colour. I think the OP is probably exaggerating or has lots of not very nice friends (and her husband is an idiot who likes to tease her for sure).

starmaker7 · 21/08/2012 13:55

I love my colour ,I also love the fact I have no grey even though I am over 40 unlike a lot of my school friends who have been trying to hide theirs for years ;0)

My ds has bright orangy ginger hair ,his standard response to nasty people is 'you'll always be ugly but at least I can dye my hair' not that he ever would as he loves it too

Original poster
littlemisssunny · 21/08/2012 13:56

I didn't mean to imply lots of peo

OP posts:
LucieMay · 21/08/2012 13:56

it goes the other way too! I've been teased for being dark and "hairy", now I take the piss out of myself for it to deal with it.

starmaker7 · 21/08/2012 13:57

I agree with your point Mumsy ,if it isnt the hair it will be something else I think its part and parcel of growing up/childhood

Original poster
littlemisssunny · 21/08/2012 13:58

Oops try again! I didn't mean to imply lots of people hate it, apologies if that's how it came across but it amazes me that people seem to think its acceptable to be mean about it still?

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 14:00

I don't think I do agree with mumsy's point entirely - I also wore glasses and had freckles, equally "taunt-worthy" - but the hair was just as much a focal point for taunting as the other things.

Flobbadobs · 21/08/2012 14:01

My DH was orangey ginger when he was young but over the years its deepened to a beautiful coppery red colour (with grey highlights Grin).
I've lived in hope that one of ours would inherit his colouring but so far no joy... I dark blond, 1 very fair and the baby is still deciding. I do detect a hint of red in the bit that she has though!
My best friend has beautiful long red hair that she shows off all the time. I'm mousey brown so get mine out of a bottle!!

Flobbadobs · 21/08/2012 14:04

Sorry, forgot to add... I think YABabitU, lifes too short to get really upset about it. Just to add about DH, ifeople hadn't noticed his hair it would have been the really thick jam jar bottle glasses he used to wear instead. As mentioned above, if it's not one thing, its something else..
I'd tell your DH to lay off though, or find something of his to laugh at to see if he likes it!

civilfawlty · 21/08/2012 14:06

I would sell my soul to have Ginger or red hair. And no, YANBU. People are often asholes.

lisaro · 21/08/2012 14:12

JessieEssex is your child mixed race? That's when that apricot colour appears a lot. I actually have to say (as a proud ginge) that the nicest colour ever is apricot.

JessieEssex · 21/08/2012 14:16

No, lisaro she's not - it's quite an unusual colour, although my niece has exactly the same (no-one else in the family does!) It changes with the light - sometimes she's almost blonde, and others she's dark red. Love it.

BerryLellow · 21/08/2012 14:19

I think red hair is (or can be, depending on condition like any other colour) utterly glorious. DS2 has a friend at preschool with the most gorgeous red curls, he looks lovely.

zookeeper · 21/08/2012 14:21

I'm ginger. I love it. I always assume people are jealous on the (very very) odd occasion I hear odd comments like that.

MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler · 21/08/2012 14:21

I have just opened my pictures up, so those who want to can have a look at my gorgeous ginger children!!

Mumsyblouse · 21/08/2012 14:22

But not all children think ginger hair is a negative thing. My girls don't, the girl everyone thinks is the prettiest in the class has long ginger hair. Perhaps they are biased because of their mum, but I have never heard them mention it in a negative way, so I don't know how ingrained it is, or if the more everyone goes on about ginger predjudice, it gets worse in a self-perpetuating way.

I could easily write 'AIBU that I have more compliments about my hair than my friend with brown hair?' as this is true but that would be very silly

ZZZenAgain · 21/08/2012 14:24

I love red hair, you're right it is a bizarre thing to make jokes about. I suppose it is just much less common than brown, black or blonde and that is why people zero in on it. Very annoying for you though all the ribbing, I can totally understand that.

Mumsyblouse · 21/08/2012 14:26

Mamma I've just looked at your pictures, your children have gorgeous deep red hair, it's wonderful! (I'm not just saying that, I think if you like red hair you are really into it, when I see little red haired children in the street, I always want to say 'I love your hair', same as I love corkscrew ringlet/curls and long afros on little children).

Even funnier, the little girl your boy has a crush on has red hair! They do say you end up with someone like your parent:)

wimblehorse · 21/08/2012 14:29

DS is "strawberry blonde".

DH refuses to acknowledge he is ginger and claims he is "fair haired". DH's parents ask every bloody time we see them whether there is ginger in my family as they "wonder where it has come from".

Both make me seethe - if there is such a "stigma" in being ginger, DH and I should be encouraging him to be proud of and accept the way he looks, not pretending it's a different colour. And DH has mid-brown hair and I have mousy hair - DS's is by far the prettiest!

LadyWellian · 21/08/2012 14:32

Wimblehorse DD gets short shrift from her peers when she tries to play the 'strawberry blonde' card (which, TBH, she can't so much these days as her hair is definitely getting darker). They say there is no such colour, apparently.

Stokey38 · 21/08/2012 14:32

My DD has red hair, it's beautiful and we love it. She starts school this year so there is a part of me that is worried about teasing but she is quite a feisty little girl! All her aunts have amazing red hair and were overjoyed when DD came out red. I was teased at school for being tall, DH was for wearing glasses so I guess kids can always find something. Also the release of Brave (new Disney film) has made her v happy with the main character having very bright red hair!

DappyHays · 21/08/2012 14:40

My daughter has ginger hair. I say ginger because she corrects people who say red.

It is an auburny-ginger and it is thick, glossy and sparkly with a slight wave. It is easily the most beautiful hair I have ever set eyes on.

I admit I wasn't a fan of ginger before she was born (I'm blonde, DH dark), but since the second I saw her I've loved the colour.

She has it waist length and today she's having it cut into a short bob and donating the hair to a charity who make wigs for children who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy or alopecia.

DappyHays · 21/08/2012 14:42

wimblehorse tell your DH's family that the ginger gene has to be on both sides to produce a ginger.

Stokey38 · 21/08/2012 14:44

DappyHays - your DD sounds amazing. I have to admit before DD was born I was slightly nervous about her having red hair and now I realise how silly that was. Her hair is beautiful (not just saying because I am her mama). I am now slightly obsessed now by red haired children!