aibu to think we must tell the children

[dementedmumof6]

My MIL has just been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer, my husband and his sister don't want to tell any of the children.

I want to tell mine that granny is dying as they lost there granpa 3yrs ago to kidney cancer and were not told how bad he was and only found out once he died, my eldest in particular took it really badly.
So aibu to want to go against everyones wishes and prepare my children for the worst.

its a difficult situation your dh and the family are in shock from the news give it a few days and see if he'll come round to the idea of maybe giving a few details to the children? if they are close to MIL then it seems harsh not to sory for your news OP xx

Your DH is wrong, and is selfishly putting you in an impossible situation. If I were your teenager I would never trust you again if you did this to me twice.

I firmly believe kid should be told. my dh died 2.5 yrs ago. At the time of diagnosis our kids were 11, 7 and 5. We told them as the prognosis was terminal. worst conversation of my life but however hard it was we felt we had to be honest. Professionals all advised age appropriate honesty as kids sense something is going on and get frightened and stressed when their imaginations run riot.

So sorry for you all as a family

Sorry about your MIL, but your relationship with your husband and supporting him through this is more important than telling your children the truth at the moment. The older ones will pick up that granny is very ill. If someone dies suddenly then people have to cope with it.
I agree it would be better to give your children some warning of their granny's death but the relationship between their parents is more important to their happiness than advance warning of a grandmother's death.

WHAT mammatj said

I think you shoukd respect the wishes of your DH and his sis really

So sorry pinot

To OP perhaps a balance can be struck for now between respecting wishes of others in the family and being honest with your DC's ?