Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to stop accepting their mail?

92 replies

nightowlmostly · 20/08/2012 11:19

We moved into a new house 6 months ago, and the old owners redirected their mail for a month. Since then we have been getting a fair amount of letters for them.

I met them, they seemed pretty nice people, so I didn't mind accepting their mail and she would come round and pick it up. The last lot though, I was going away on holiday for a couple of weeks so thought I should try and get it to them before I went, so took it to their new house, not far away, and popped it in their letterbox.

I didn't ever hear anything, no thank you or acknowledgement at all, which I was a bit annoyed about tbh. We had vaguely said we'd go for a drink, and she seemed nice, I thought we could maybe become friends as we still live close to each other.

Anyway, more mail has come, even though I have asked the postie not to give me mail for them any more some still gets through. I refused to sign for a recorded delivery letter for them last week. I haven't said anything to them, I don't know how to put it, I hate confrontation. She texted me today asking if there had been any mail, I told her I'd posted some letters yesterday for them, but I suspect she was on about the recorded delivery.

So my question is, AIBU to refuse their mail without spelling it out to them? I'm just a bit annoyed, it's been 6 months! Or should I tell them that's what I've done? Or, option no 3, should I just keep on forwarding their mail for eternity?

I'm prepared to accept if I'm BU, but I hope I'm not!

OP posts:

Ithinkitsjustme · 20/08/2012 11:21

YANBU to refuse to accept any more of their mail, but I think you should tell them. If you go to the postoffice you should be able to stop it being delivered in teh first place.

confusedpixie · 20/08/2012 11:23

There was a thread just like this a few weeks ago with some brilliant advice on it, I'm on my phone so can't dig it out until I get home though I'm afraid!

Original poster

nightowlmostly · 20/08/2012 11:24

I know you're right about telling them, but I'm unsure how to go about it. It would definitely be in a text . Any ideas how? I just don't know what reason I could give them.

Reading my OP again, it does seem a bit petty I guess. Maybe I'm a little hurt that she seemed really nice but it turns out she just wants me to bring her mail round for her!

OP posts:

Original poster

nightowlmostly · 20/08/2012 11:25

Thanks confusedpixie. I'm off out now, to tesco, joy! I'll check in again later, if you could link to that I'd appreciate it.

OP posts:

EnglishGirlApproximately · 20/08/2012 11:26

Are you me?? I've been in my house for 6 months, old occupants live 2 streets away and I'm still getting what looks like important mail. I took it to them once or twice but I don't really see why it should be my responsibility to make sure they get their post.

So, no YANBU. I've decided that if I bump into them I'll tell them they have mail but as I don't have a contact number I'm not going out of my way to inform them. I would just let them know that you have mail and ask that they make sure addresses are changed as - if they don't bother and you refuse mail they've had fair warning.

ParsleyTheLioness · 20/08/2012 11:27

I'm a bit baffled why you would have a recorded delivery letter for them tbh...surely they could have had that sent to their new address?

whois · 20/08/2012 11:27

Seriously, it's like £40 to redirect mail for an entire year, and £30 for 6 months. If she can't be bothered to set up a redirection for a proper amount of time, or to change her address with everyone, then screw her. Totally unreasonable NOT have at least 6 months redirection set up on moving.

valiumredhead · 20/08/2012 11:27

I think you are being very pete tbh.

Just put it to one side and wait for them to collect it if you cba to forward it, but is it really that much of a bother?

TheCunningStunt · 20/08/2012 11:32

Tell her unless they redirect it all, you will be writing"not known at this address" on it all and put it back in the postbox. Legally royal mail need to deliver letters through the letter box even if they know the person doesn't live there, as it's the address, not the name that matters(or at least this was the case when I was a postie many years ago) They can't change that unless the actual recipient changes their details. 6 months is more than enought time and I think you have been veyr kind thus far. They are taking it for granted and showing no gratitude. YANBU

squoosh · 20/08/2012 11:33

That sounds weird that she'd expect an important recorded delivery item of post to be delivered to her old address.

After 6 months you're well within your rights to repost with a big 'no longer at this address' on it.

valiumredhead · 20/08/2012 11:33

We're still getting post 5 years on from the previous owners - no biggy!

WilsonFrickett · 20/08/2012 11:35

I feel your pain, the previous owners here redirected their 'joint' name but not the woman's maiden name IYSWIM so we still get loads of mail for her. It's hardly any money to put a second name on FFS. I have a letter here for her from the court and am very tempted to bin it. (I won't because I am a nice person, but it's probably a parking ticket and that means she hasn't changed her address on her driving licence either!) Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Ithinkitsjustme · 20/08/2012 11:36

Tell her that you are going to live abroad for a year and that she will not to able to access any mail that arrives at your house for that time, or just say that it's a bit much for you and that she needs to get it sorted out with teh post office NOW

EightiesChick · 20/08/2012 11:36

I would text and say that the forwarding service seems to have run out, and there have been a few important-looking things coming in the post so they might want to reactivate it for a few more months while they change all their addresses. DO NOT offer to take it round. I would just shove anything else into a pile and then wait for them to come and collect. If they ask you to take it round (cheeky but possible) say you unfortunately don't have time.

EightiesChick · 20/08/2012 11:36

I wouldn't keep actually forwarding it though.

Collaborate · 20/08/2012 11:38

We moved 2 years ago and are getting lots of post still. We've been returning it to sender for a long time now.

Some of it is from a solicitor about mortgage reposession for their son's property. I know this as I accidentally opened a letter from the mortgagee a few months back threatening court action for mortgage arrears. I wrote back to the mortgage lendeer saying they don't live here any more, but they still have to write to the account holder at the last notified address.

Shangers · 20/08/2012 11:38

totally NBU - We're in a similar situation except ours is a holiday house so we won't be there most of the time to pass things on - for a few weeks we took it to the estate agent who seemed quite happy to pass it on but after that I wrote "not known at this address: return to sender" on everything and popped it back in the postbox. A lot of it seemed pretty important (university results for her son - he didn't do well!). It's embarrassing to say you're not going to do it but it's not worth the chance that it could go on for years....

I think I've solved the problem(unintentionally!) as the son popped by the other day and asked for a particular letter that I had mistakenly opened (was same bank as my DH - don't recommend opening letters of course!!) but had also already sprawled on it "not known at this address: return to sender" in big red letters.... if they don't change their address now they really are idiots!..... and I clearly only gave him the one that he asked for - the rest I left very obviously on the side - sometimes you have to be a bit horrible to make your point!

Original poster

nightowlmostly · 20/08/2012 11:40

Ok valiumredhead, no biggy you say. So what am I expected to do with it? It looks important, ie not junk so I can't chuck it away, but why should I go to the bother of reposting it forever? I could keep it to the side I guess, but it does bug me. It's not too much to ask to have it all changed now?

The recorded delivery thing did confuse me, surely they should have changed their address with anyone who would be sending them stuff like that?

OP posts:

ParsleyTheLioness · 20/08/2012 11:41

The recorded thing almost sounds a little dodgy tbh.

Shangers · 20/08/2012 11:42

oh and btw - it's actually important not to let them have any connection with your house if at all possible - I've had it happen to me before that I've ended up "connected" on my credit report with previous owners/residents who didn't change their addresses - it can have an adverse affect on your credit rating and is a hassle to sort it out - it's their problem - just write return to sender and shove it back in the box.

squoosh · 20/08/2012 11:43

Yes my suspicions would be raised by them having a recorded dlievery ite sent to their old address.

I'm not saying I'd whoosh it over a steaming kettle, but I'd probably hold it up to the light!

squoosh · 20/08/2012 11:43

Good point by Shangers re. the credit rating of the physical house.

Collaborate · 20/08/2012 11:44

Credit ratings are worked out differntly these days. Sharing the same address doesn't make you a connected person any more.

CommaChameleon · 20/08/2012 11:44

You can stop unwanted mail by registering with the Mailing Preference Service.

This will work for unwanted direct marketing mail in your names and in the names of the previous occupiers if you know them, which in this case you do.

That at least should stop you getting their junk mail.

Other than that take EightiesChick's advice and let them know they need to do something to sort it out.

EduStudent · 20/08/2012 11:48

It's an arse to start with, but sending everything back with 'unknown at this address' seemed to sort it out at the last house I lived in. Took a while but the flow did dwindle.

But then we didn't know the previous residents or have any address for them.

Flip

1 2 3 4