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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not make my husband his lunch?

78 replies

Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 21:41

Was chatting to MIL today, we don't have a brilliant relationship but I wouldn't call it awful in any way.

Anyway the subject came up about me returning to work after a year off on Maternity leave (took a year due to health reasons)and progressed to her finding out I don't make my DH, her PFB, a packed lunch every night ( he works in a factory with a horrible canteen so takes a sandwich etc).

She catabum mouthed me and told me it was terrible that im at home all day doing nothing while he works FT he at least deserves his lunch made Hmm

I cook his dinner every night, wash and iron his clothes, do all the housework and shopping myself, run to the post office on his errands(he has a business too), look after 10 month old, mow our lawn etc. is it really that awful not to make him his lunch FFS??

I think I'm not but MIL and subsequently my mum think I'm BU and should be standing every night sorting out his lunchbag for the next day.

BTW before baby came everything in our house was split 50/50 and I am going back to work part time in a few weeks.

So AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 21:41

*catsbum

OP posts:
MissPricklePants · 19/08/2012 21:42

of course yanbu! I am sure your dh can make himself a sandwich! Ignore the mil!

AKissIsNotAContract · 19/08/2012 21:43

YANBU. I think it's a generational thing as my mum and mil would say the same as yours.

Gumby · 19/08/2012 21:43

I don't either

I used to but dh moaned about not enough butter, the wrong cheese blah blah so I resigned Grin

Woopdiedoo · 19/08/2012 21:44

YANBU.

I have had this argument with my DP. He thinks I should make his sandwiches for him everyday, I think I am busy doing everything else in the home including looking after his DCs. I barely get time to make myself lunch let alone his.

Seriously, I think some people totally underestimate how busy you are as a SAHM. DP is perfectly capable of making his own or buying some if he can't be arsed.

Original poster
Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 21:44

MIL has three sons and would stand for an hour every night making theirs and FILs sandwiches, I swore to myself I would never ever let my sons be lazy bastards so spoiled!

OP posts:
Original poster
Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 21:48

Sometimes I don't even care if there's nothing in the house for him to take for lunch.

OP posts:
wigglesrock · 19/08/2012 21:48

My husband has a packed lunch for work as well, he usually makes it himself. If I'm in the kitchen and he's running late or on nights etc I sometimes make it for him but only if I'm hanging about the fridge. My mil has 3 sons and she'd be horrified if they didn't make their own lunches - it wouldn't occur to her that they wouldn't do it themselves Grin

Original poster
Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 21:50

wiggles my mum used to make my two brothers their school lunches, I was left to do my own Hmm

OP posts:
Naoko · 19/08/2012 21:51

YANBU, I work from home and due to my flexible and lighter schedule do most of the housework. In the 8 years of our relationship I think I've made his packed lunch twice, both times to help him out when he was in a rush. DP wouldn't dream of complaining about it.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 19/08/2012 21:52

I've just made mine his because I'm grovelling! Don't do it as a rule, but do occasionally, and he always appreciates it. No you're def not BU.

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2012 21:52

Just do whatever works for you and your DH

It's got nothing to do with your MIL...it's not her marriage.

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 19/08/2012 21:52

fuck sakes!

if all 5 of us were waving butter knives round the kitchen in the morning no bugger would get to school /work ... leave it to the professional Grin

startwig1982 · 19/08/2012 21:55

I've always done dh's lunch, even when I was on ml, but that's just me and cos I'd feel bad if he did it. Now I'm back to work, I do both our lunches the night before and I still seem to do most of the housework!!

ceeveebee · 19/08/2012 21:55

YANBU

It's a generation thing. We live 250 miles from our families and I am on mat leave with 9 mo twins. When my DM and MIL come to stay (not together) they are constantly offering cups of tea etc to DH, ironing his shirts, making sure his dinner is ready and the house nice and tidy for his return from work - he gets accustomed to it then gets a nasty shock when normal service is resumed!!

NoodieRoodie · 19/08/2012 21:56

YANBU, I make DH's packed lunch BUT he gets up with DS (10 months) at 6am and I sleep in till half 7 (making up for night waking) and then I don't touch DS until DH walks out of the door at 8.

It's part of our "sharing parenting" thing!!

gamerwidow · 19/08/2012 21:57

YANBU your DH is more than capable of making his own packed lunch. I don't make DH's lunch either even though I work PT and he works FT.
If you're both happy with this arrangement then it's got bugger all to do with anyone else.

Original poster
Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 22:01

DH starts work at 7 so no way in hell would I be down making his lunch in the morning :o

Worra you're right though she made me feel like I was a lazy bitch, DH has never complained about making it either though it winds me up that he rushes about doing it at 6am when it would be easier to sort the night before.

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cupcake78 · 19/08/2012 22:02

Yanbu, dh makes his own each night. I'm not his mother I'm his wife!

Cherubim · 19/08/2012 22:05

Fucking hell! I can't believe how many of you don't make your partner's lunch!

We both work f/t and sometimes I make it and sometimes he makes it Confused I'm not his mum and he's not my dad... we're partners.

But whatever, it's got fuck all to do with your mil.

blueemerald · 19/08/2012 22:06

An hour to make 4 sandwiches!! More fool her. My mum would have laughed herself sick if my brothers demanded that. Your future children in law will be grateful you stuck to your guns.

AllPastYears · 19/08/2012 22:07

A guy I used to work with had his lunch made by his loving wife (who incidentally also worked full time). He used to make fun of his sandwiches and sometimes go out for lunch with the guys regardless of the culinary delights in his suitcase. No way would I be doing it!

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2012 22:07

My DH doesn't trust me to make his lunch any more, ever since the day I filled his lunch box with Coca pops and buried his phone in the middle.

I rang him just as his lunch break started and he said it was the most surreal moment of his life Grin

imsotired · 19/08/2012 22:08

your MIL would hate me!

we have been married (happily) for 22 years.

He gets stuff in for his lunches, if there isnt anything in, then its his problem.

He does his own laundry and ironing, if he doesnt have anything clean, thats his problem.

however, if there isnt any milk for my daughters brekkie - thats his fault and when i was stopped for speeding that was his fault too....

in fact I think he spoils me... I LUVVVV him
;)

Original poster
Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 22:09

So a few of you are saying you're not his mum, in that case if it was your adult son would you make him his packed lunch? My mum was making my brothers lunch when he was living at home at 30, MIL made DHs loser brothers lunch at 35 until some poor woman took him on

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