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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not make my husband his lunch?

78 replies

Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 21:41

Was chatting to MIL today, we don't have a brilliant relationship but I wouldn't call it awful in any way.

Anyway the subject came up about me returning to work after a year off on Maternity leave (took a year due to health reasons)and progressed to her finding out I don't make my DH, her PFB, a packed lunch every night ( he works in a factory with a horrible canteen so takes a sandwich etc).

She catabum mouthed me and told me it was terrible that im at home all day doing nothing while he works FT he at least deserves his lunch made Hmm

I cook his dinner every night, wash and iron his clothes, do all the housework and shopping myself, run to the post office on his errands(he has a business too), look after 10 month old, mow our lawn etc. is it really that awful not to make him his lunch FFS??

I think I'm not but MIL and subsequently my mum think I'm BU and should be standing every night sorting out his lunchbag for the next day.

BTW before baby came everything in our house was split 50/50 and I am going back to work part time in a few weeks.

So AIBU?

OP posts:
coconutparadise · 19/08/2012 22:10

I don't make DH's. I said I would make them the night before, but he wants them made in the morning so they are fresh. As he gets up at 5am and leaves the house at 6.15 he hasn't got a hope in hell of that happening!.

Woopdiedoo · 19/08/2012 22:10

Cherbum, if I was making sandwiches for myself, then it probably wouldn't be too much effort to make his too. But as I am a SAHM I make mine and the DCs lunch at lunchtime. I don't think he has ever left sandwiches for me when making his own Hmm. When I return to work then we'll probably take it in turns I'll end up doing both sets anyway.

coconutparadise · 19/08/2012 22:13

Tango I have 2 teenaged sons, I very, very rarely make them their lunch when they are at home. They buy their lunch at school, but I would make them a packed lunch if they wanted. Once they are adults and are working full time, they can do it themselves.

Xmasbaby11 · 19/08/2012 22:13

It sounds like you do tons around the house so I'm not surprised you're peeved!

Personally I do Dh's sandwiches, which takes 5 mins and makes him happy, but leave things like the ironing to him, which takes significantly longer. You can't (shouldn't) do everything for a DP!

ilovesooty · 19/08/2012 22:17

My father went to stay with my aunt not long before he died. When he came home he passed an orange to my mother to peel for him! I think she made it clear that he couldn't expect that sort of service once he came home.

Original poster
Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 22:19

xmas you're right I do, don't know how I managed to end up doing everything yet when I was working at a job (because being at home with my DD is harder than being at work) my DH did the gardens and half of the house work!

He's in for a rude awakening when I'm back at work.

OP posts:
mercibucket · 19/08/2012 22:20

I pay for my kids school dinners til they are old enough to make their own packed lunches. I just don't bother eating at work, myself, so no need to make sandwiches and saves money. Would never for a second occur to me to make anyone else's packed lunches - why? They have arms

Dildobaggins · 19/08/2012 22:20

The time it's taken you to whine about it on mumsnet, you could have made him his lunch Grin

Original poster
Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 22:22

dildo I can MN in bed, I haven't the skill to make a sandwich in bed though :o

OP posts:
imsotired · 19/08/2012 22:24

dildo! ha ha ha hhaaaahhhaaaahhhaaahhhaaa haa haa haa (snort)!

Original poster
Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 22:25

Fuck it I'm starving now going down to make myself a sandwich :o

OP posts:
iknowwho · 19/08/2012 22:27

Dh buys his butties when he is out on the road.
He makes DS's lunch for school.
I make mine on days when I'm going out hill wallking as I like mine made in a certain way.

I make tea most nights as I am usually the first home and there for I pick what we eat!

songline · 19/08/2012 22:29

count up how many packed lunches you'll have to make for him in a lifetime if you cave in now... that should be enough to deter you!

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 19/08/2012 22:29

My father went to stay with my aunt not long before he died. When he came home he passed an orange to my mother to peel for him! I think she made it clear that he couldn't expect that sort of service once he came home.

Thats so sweet Grin my dad was an ace orange peeler, he always peeled my oranges, some people just have a god given talent.

Grin
Original poster
Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 22:31

I can peel orange skins in one piece that looks like a willy.
it's my party trick, granted a rubbish one.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 19/08/2012 22:31

Apparently my aunt was an ace orange peeler. Grin

Original poster
Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 22:32

songline that's a lot considering he's not yet 30 and we will robably have to work until we are 80 by then!

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 19/08/2012 22:37

When I was a child we struggled over to my aunt one Boxing Day in the snow. It took us hours. My mother and us children got sandwiches. My dad got a cooked meal as he "needed it after his long drive".

CaliforniaLeaving · 19/08/2012 22:39

I make my Dh's sandwiches and leave them in the fridge for him Blush he leaves at 4.30am while we are sleeping and It's one less thing for him to be banging around in the kitchen to do.
I did however teach my boys to make their own to take to high school and they'd do them the night before and put them in the fridge, I did it so that my future DIL's will hopefully appreciate that I taught them to be independent, unlike their Dad. But on the other hand Dh washes and dries all his own work clothes.

LJAM · 19/08/2012 22:43

Suggest MIL makes his packed lunches if she's so bothered about it.

Original poster
Tangointhenight · 19/08/2012 22:46

LJAM she probably would, she has offered to iron his work clothes before despite the fact that I had already ironed them cheeky cow

OP posts:
GranToAirMissiles · 19/08/2012 22:48

I sometimes have sandwiches thrown onto my garden, I guess by schoolchildren. I do pity whoever has stood and made them for the ungrateful so and so. Before making sandwiches for anyone, it is worth finding out whether they will actually be eaten and appreciated.

DartsIsFun · 19/08/2012 23:14

DP makes his own lunches. DD aged 12 will be doing hers once school begins, meanwhile she sorts her own lunch out at home while still off school. DS aged 8 is being taught to make his own sandwiches and will be making his own for school, with a bit of help to begin with.

Both DC have said they don't like the hot dinners at school so I said they make their own lunches. As they are making their own now, they've been poring over some cookery mags I have for lunch suggestions to get away from the boring old sarnie. My theory is if they make it themselves, they're more likely to eat their lunch.

Iteotwawki · 20/08/2012 06:28

DH makes my lunches - I work ft, he works pt. He knows I wouldn't eat if he didn't because there's never time to go to the canteen to get anything at lunchtime.

merrymouse · 20/08/2012 06:35

I make DH's lunch, but that is because he is out of the house from 5.30-7.30/8.30 and I therefore cook all meals and know what is in the fridge - usually his lunch is some kind of leftovers though, not sandwiches.

The thing is that in the olden days wifey might have made sandwiches for her man, but he would have been expected to mow the lawn and spend a large part of the weekend tinkering with household things, and probably do big manly jobs like putting the bins out. I think your MIL and mum may not be seeing the bigger picture.

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