To be a bit shocked that every one of my friends has done this?

[benetint]

I've spoken to all my friends that have older children about how they have selected schools for their dcs. Nearly all of them have said (in confidence) that they have basically hung around outside the gates at chucking out time to see how the parents and kids coming out look/behave/sound.

Is it time to get a new set of friends? Or would you join them?

OP - it's not possible to observe how primary school children behave without their parents around, it is for secondary school children.

It's not fair to judge children on their parents behaviour.

I would only find it accurate at secondary. I'm really not interested in the parents.

Really? I think the parents behaviour at primary is quite an important thing, I wouldn't use a school where the parents turned up in pyjamas or smoked or swore were generally anti social at the school gates. And there are enough schools where this happens!

The thing is at primary school if other kids have parents like that then at least your kids are still very much under your control. The average 8 or 9 year old will do what what you tell them, behave in a way you want them to. They're more influenced by you than peers.

Its when they get to be teenagers that they're more influenced by others. I'm sure at all large secondary schools there is going to be an element of kids who misbehave. But the smaller that group the better.

Maybe if I lived in an area where they turned up in pyjamas I would, but I don't.

Would never have thought of doing this but now having gone through the school process I think it is an excellent way to select a school. Ofsted only see what is put on show for them same with parents at open days. I don't live in an area where parents turn up in pyjamas or at least I didn't think I did until my own started school.

[blushes]

[hides pyjamas]

What has parents wearing pyjamas got to do with how well behaved the kids in the school will be? So long as the kids are not in pyjamas I can't see a problem. I wouldn't call pyjama wearing anti social.

It's not anti social to wear pyjamas to do the school run. But I think it can be indicative of an attitude towards work and education, and if it is, then that's it an attitude I want my young children to encounter when they go to school.

I dont know whether to be flattered or offended someone thinks I'm a journalist! Just an average parent obsessing about their (not even school age yet) dcs!

I think if someone came to check out my dc's school, then they would be impressed, until they catch sight of me.....

I would certainly do it. I think it would help to add to all the evidence necessary to make an informed choice.

Why do you think it's wrong?