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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fed up of being called fat?

102 replies

olympicblues · 19/08/2012 13:25

My mum used to be very slim but has thyroid problems and is very overweight (22-24) and feeling bad about it, I am a size 12 - 14.

I keep getting comments about

"Your going like me"
"You need to go to x to loose your weight"
"WE need to do something about this weight"
" We look like two [insert fat insult here]"
Other fat insults.

Its getting me down!

OP posts:

hmc · 19/08/2012 22:40

I am with worra - size 12 can be overweight but isn't necessarily so. She is not saying it is automatically overweight - just disputing the suggestion from another poster that it can't possibly be overweight.

FutTheShuckUp · 19/08/2012 22:40

Worra you shouted people down who said the OP wasn't fat, they didn't know her build/BMI etc. why try to put doubt into people's mind about their own positive self
Image?

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2012 22:41

I see you've still not found your ability to read and digest Fut?

So that'll be me, Shelly and hmc would have no idea about our own bodies?

Really, we should all have asked you to tell us whether or not we were fat at that size.

That'll be you who doesn't know any of us from Adam.....

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2012 22:43

This is the internet Fut, I didn't 'shout' anyone down.

I typed some facts

The facts being no-one knows how tall the OP is, what her frame or her BMI is.

But you carry on with your pearl clutching, it is at least providing tonight's amusement....

FutTheShuckUp · 19/08/2012 22:44

You weren't saying it about you though..not in the first instance- you were too busy insisting that yes the op COULD be fat as we don't know her BMI/build.
It's utterly ridiculous to brand someone who wears such a low size in clothes as fat no matter what you think if your own body

rhondajean · 19/08/2012 22:46

I'm a 14 and I'm fat.

I think sometimes we forget what we are meant to look like. For me personally, I have not always been this size, I have excess flesh and I know it.

Not everyone who is a 14 is fat btw. But neither is every 14 thin or healthy weight.

Which I think is what worra is saying?

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2012 22:46

You weren't saying it about you though..not in the first instance- you were too busy insisting that yes the op COULD be fat as we don't know her BMI/build

Yes because the OP COULD be fat as we don't know her BMI/build....why do you have a problem with this FACT?

It's utterly ridiculous to brand someone who wears such a low size in clothes as fat no matter what you think if your own body

Finally something we agree on. And if I ever seen anyone doing that, I'll point it out to them

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2012 22:47

rj thank the lordy....I thought I was in some sort of parallel universe for a minute

Yes that's exactly what I'm saying

I don't see how I can be any clearer

rhondajean · 19/08/2012 22:49

I get you.

A 12 - 14 is not likely to be morbidly obese but it is also quite possible not to be a healthy weight.

We are becoming desensitised to where overweight CAN begin by the media portrayal of super obese if you ask me.

scarlettsmummy2 · 19/08/2012 22:50

Agree you can be fat at a size fourteen- I know I certainly looked chunky and lumpen at that size, and my 5ft 2inch, size fourteen mother also would not be described as being slim. The op has at no point said what height or build she is so maybe her mother is just being honest and she would look better if she lost a couple of pounds.

FutTheShuckUp · 19/08/2012 22:51

As I said earlier- anorexics believe themselves fat, see an overweight person looking back at them in the mirror. That's their self image telling them that. A size 12 cannot possibly be fat and I stand by that. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of their image.

SoleSource · 19/08/2012 22:52

Im very fat do not abuse me in anyway or you will regret it people.

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2012 22:52

My ex MIL is 4ft 10" and she actually towers over my neighbour (well not really towers but she's the first person over the age of 10 she's ever been taller than)

Both of them would be properly fat at a size 12 as they're probably a petite size 6 at the moment.

hmc · 19/08/2012 22:54

So those of us considering ourselves a little overweight and in need of loosing a few pounds at size 12 have an eating disorder? Fut - I am sure you mean well but thats nonsense.

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2012 22:54

You're deluded Fut

Here you have people telling you about their own bodies and still you have the nerve to tell them you know more than they do?

Are you actually hinting that those of us who know we would be fat at a size 12/14 are possibly annorexic?

Genuine question since you mentioned it more than once now.

FutTheShuckUp · 19/08/2012 22:54

Scarlettsmummy- the OP is happy as she is and is far from being a size 22 like her mother. I've no idea why bitchy women ate trying to insist her mother may just have a point- does nobody give a shit about her being happy as she is?
Blimey I really pity girls growing up in this day and age. My skinny seven year old has mentioned not eating snack at school as she doesn't want to get fat. With attitudes like these I feel even more disheartened for her future body image

MordionAgenos · 19/08/2012 22:55

A size 12 could easily be fat. I'm 5'2". If I was an adult size 12, I'd be fat. My sister is 4'11". If she was an adult size 12 she'd be obese.

And seriously, while 12 and 14 may be ok dress sizes for the lucky taller people in the population, they cannot accurately be described as 'low' dress sizes. They just can't be. Because they aren't.

FutTheShuckUp · 19/08/2012 22:56

That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm simply saying because some people think a size twelve can be fat doesn't make it so

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2012 22:58

Fut of course it doesn't make it so just because it can be

Again that's the whole point of needing to know height, BMI and frame.

I give up, I just think perhaps you're projecting or something but you're really not 'getting' what people are saying to you.

defineme · 19/08/2012 22:59

I'm a bit surprised by the 5 ft 9 person's fat at size 14 . I'm 5ft 10, just squeezing into size 14 and bmi 24. I am an extreme pear-large arse and no boobs to speak of, but I'm very surprised someone 1 inch smaller than me is in the overweight category of bmi. To be slim my bmi would be have to be 21, but healthy and slim are 2 different things and I will be on a beach in my swimsuit and not caring at all tomorrow(very excited about hols)..

FutTheShuckUp · 19/08/2012 22:59

Of course a 12 is a low dress size- its four sizes up from the lowest dress size in the UK and how many sizes below the highest? Disputing that is like saying 2 isn't an even number

whiteandyelloworchid · 19/08/2012 23:00

as long as your bmi is in the healthy range theres no need to worry.

MordionAgenos · 19/08/2012 23:00

And, fut you being scarily over invested in demanding that a person who is size 12 can never under any circumstances be considered fat, whatever their height or build, doesn't mean that your mantra is true. There are two 'sides' here - one consisting of people saying, essentially, it depends on other factors such as height and build, and you, saying that it can never ever be the case no matter what the other circumstances. Who looks delusional?

rhondajean · 19/08/2012 23:02

Fut, go to mybodygallery.com to see the range of shapes people who are a size 12 come in.

A 12 is also a large in some shops btw.

FutTheShuckUp · 19/08/2012 23:03

Unless someone was about three foot tall a size 12 isn't fat. Or unless the shop puts a size 16 on the rack with a size 12 label on

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