To be dreading to the point of tears this hen weekend...

[theonlynonblonde]

I'm going to a hen w/e of a friend in the next couple of weeks. Even though i only know 2 of the 20 people going, even though it's in the arse-end of nowhere, EVEN THOUGH i come out in hives at the thought of hen party games, i was willing to go and damn well enjoy myself

However, to compound the general misery of this hen weekend, it has been announced that there will be a fancy dress theme to our outing to the only club in Shitsville, the nearest place to our hotel. The theme is "all-American cheerleader" and i am absolutely dreading it. At present i'm a size 16-18 and as i said above, not the most outgoing.

AIBU to totally dread this to the point that i've been in tears over the thought of having to get dressed up and go. and AIBU to think that people who invent these fancy dress codes are just sadistic buggers?!

Ugh. I hate fancy dress. YANBU not to go. I would just pull out at this point tbh. Unless you think it could be bearable if you wore your own clothes & were the coach... I think I might be able to live with that.

Absolutely sickie is in order here. If you're dreading it don't go. Oh dear what a shame you've been really ill for the last couple of days and thought you'd be better but you're not. And wouldn't want to give everybody a bug. Don't go.

16-18 is average!

Go, you'll never know if you don't try. Being open to new experiences is a really valuable life skill.

NellyBluth - I was almost looking forward it before the fancy dress theme was announced - had convinced myself that it would be ok, and even though the club is bound to be cheese-central, i had already looked out what (decent outfit) i was going to wear. i'm not sure about going as a coach - i think it will just mark me out as the fatso of the group if i go in a tracksuit - but maybe the pompoms with otherwise normal clothing is the way to go

Tracksuit and a whistle, like that woman in Glee. You are the co-ordinator of the cheerleaders. Anytime anyone annoys you, blow that whistle LOUDLY.

You will look fab in the outfit you have picked out pluss some hastily bought pom poms I bet you won't be the only one doing that out of the 20 people going. Enjoy yourself :)

I think people are missing the entire point of this hen do... Er the hen!

I recently went to a hen do of one of my good mates and was really fucked off with the 'me me me' attitude of the people there.

It's your friends night, go with it and try to enjoy yourself. If you let yourself go you might surprise yourself. Concentrate on giving your friend a good night instead of your own needs.

Ghost, that's a little harsh. Obviously the point of a hen do is for the bride to celebrate, but people shouldn't have to suffer through something that will make them miserable.

Nonblonde, I'd just wear the outfit you planned but with pom poms too. Focus on the fact that no one will see you again. I had to spend a hen do dressed in a french maid's outfit and stockings after the group decision was to go clubbing after we'd done a murder mystery night. I certainly focused on the fact that I would never see anyone again!!

Ok I'm going to take a deep breath and say you should go. I hate these things as much as you do but if you're already 150 big ones down you may as well go. I bet you end up enjoying it a teensy bit.

Do not wear a track suit - you may as well get a t shirt printed saying "I am unhappy with my appearance and really uncomfortable." Just wear your usual thing and shake yer Pom poms. Consider it a night of freedom.

Honestly I NEVER want to go out but I say yes to things weeks or month ahead, then want to hide when it rolls round but then usually end up having an ok time. Sometimes even a good one!

Go! You will have a great time. Just wear what you had originally planned and take some Pompoms with you. Then get absolutely shitfaced and embarrass yourself thoroughly - no one knows you after all.

It's not harsh, it's the truth. And 'suffer', good god. Being out of your comfort zone isn't suffering. If people go into things with a negative attitude then they aren't going to get much out of it, they'll also ruin it for the others.

It's not my idea of fun but I'd just find a costume that's more on the conservative side and have a good night, making sure the hen has a fab one!

I could have written this op, I was a size 22 though and the bride had bought matching tube tops and miniskirts for "the grills funnily enough they didn't sell them in a 22 with a 44E bra size, so they had kindly got together and sewn me a similar one.

A size 16 though is gloriously curvy and average so I think a little outfit all be in tummy/thigh covering would look ace but it's how you feel about it. Don't do the trakky thing it screams odd man out.

YANBU my idea of hell
who enjoys that short of shite? I see hen nights out all the time in matching fancy dress and they NEVER look like they're having much fun!

I'd pay £150 NOT to do this.

I like the normal outfit + pom poms for the dress up idea.

Just go in your own clothes. Take a large blunt instrument for clubbing the idiot who thought of this dress code to death with at the end of the night.

I second Karlos. My only experience of a Hen night was ExP's DSis. Bearing in mind ExP & I had nearly split up a few weeks earlier (we actually split 7 months later), I had to travel 50 miles with him to where his family lived (Ex was going on the stag night the same night) and spend the entire evening with his DM, DSisters & 30odd women I'd never met before who were hell bent on getting shitfaced (and I rarely drink, and even more so when I didn't want to let slip to his DM or DSisters about the almost breakup). The theme was "Mrs Santa", and on the way up, ExP stopped at the supermarket and made me buy a new top as I didn't own a single item of red clothing. I felt like a complete tit and was miserable as sin the entire night.

I'm not keen on fancy dress. Fancy dress with a theme, especially one like this, is the ninth circle of hell.

If I was getting married I'd hate to think that any of my friends would feel uncomfortable at my hen night. I would much rather they came wearing what they felt comfortable in but then my friends are more important than a theme.

Cheerleading was actually invented by a student who was male, he wanted a "Yell Squad" to shout for the college team - it's interesting if you look it up - maybe you could wear a pair of glasses and side part your hair, a cardi with leather elbows and brogues (sort of Clark Kent at work type look) and be all ironic as The Very First Cheer Leader. If you practice the eyeroll and the "oh, I thought everyone would know the history of cheerleading?" you can be all superior too

I agree that you should just wear your own clothes and maybe put your hair in 2 bunches/1 high ponytail (if you can) and take pompoms which will be mysteriously lost as soon as possible - cheerleader costume has to be one of the stupidest themes! I've seen far better themes (remembers being out in Bournemouth and seeing several in one night but the goth Brides of Frankenstein definitely won!) but they're not everyone's cup of tea and you shouldn't be forced into it.

Not knowing people may not be a problem - you might find a couple more congenial souls there and make new friends. :)

Just wear an ordinary skirt and top with flat shoes and a pair of pom poms.

Don't fucking go! It's not difficult!

YANBU.

What a shame the bag containing your special handsewn cheeleader costume got left on the plane/train/bus/cab/blew out the window of your car on the freeway and you'll have to make do with what you've got in your case - and praise be you packed a couple of pom-poms and a whistle.

What a nightmare! Why don't people who are getting married realise that everyone else's life is ticking along like normal and we don't all have spare £150 and time to look for fancy dress costumes. You could always get a t shirt that says 'cheerleader' on it or something. That way you could wear it with jeans, look like you are making the effort and at least you would feel more comfortable. Really though, I think you should catch some of the tummy bug well wisher mentioned.

I'd wear what you planned wearing.