not to let my friend round till she teachs her 3yr old some manners?

[alwaysinthebackground]

Had the afternoon from hell the otherday, my friend brought her son round to play, i know kids get excited when round other peoples houses but this was beyond that.

Soon as he got here he raided my cupboards looking for sweets, screamed when i said i dont have any,he found the boys easter egg stash ( i know ive still got easter eggs :s)proceeded to stamp and smash them, i did tell him off but my friend just laughed.

I did plan to do some painting/crafts with them but changed my mind when
He managed to pull a blind off my window, smash the glass in my door by slamming the backdoor, broke a toy and hit my 7month on the head.
My friend was not happy that i kept telling him off (just a stern voice, telling him its not ok to slam my door etc)
At this point i asked her leave as this was not acceptable behaviour in my eyes.
My boys are not angels but i can be confident that when i take them round peoples house they are not going to trash it.

My friend thinks ive overreacted? Aibu? What would you do?

If she let that behaviour continue - I wouldn't be having her in my house either.

YANBU
Your friend doesn't sound like a very nice person if she thinks it is OK to sit back and watch her child break someone else's possessions while they try to stop him. She should have been offering to pay for the broken glass at the very least.

In fact I probably wouldn't be continuing the friendship even if her child's behaviour did improve as it doesn't seem like she thinks that much of you if she doesn't care about your feelings.

Yanbu your friend should have been making the effort to ensure her sons behaviour was more controlled. If she doesn't tell him off no wonder he behaves like that

YWBU to blame a 3yo. YADNBU to never let this woman darken your doorstep!

YANBU, I wouldn't let that behaviour happen without a stern telling off! I can't believe that she thought that was all ok! Poor child I wonder what will happen to him in the future if he doesn't have boundaries... :(

yanbu! What on earth was your friend thinking? Do you think she's so worried about his behaviour that she's kind of given up and the laughter from her was nervousness? Does her boy have special needs, do you think? Or is he quite simply in need of some firmer boundaries? Maybe both?

He broke the glass in your door!

YADNBU. It sounds like she doesn't have much respect for you & your DC. I would certainly be cutting all ties after that, particularly if she's not apologising.

YANBU.

YANBU are you going to tell her why? Or just let the friendship fizzle out. I am having a similar dilemma with a friend at the moment after spending all day out with them the other day and her sons behaviour ruining it yet again.

Bbloody hell. Does she actually have an explanation for her childs appalling behaviour? How can she possibly think it is ok for him to act like this in someone home!

YADNBU. I certainly wouldn't be having them around again. I have a feeling if this is made known to her though, she won't want to be your friend anyway, she clearly feels her little 'darling' has done nothing wrong therefore she isn't going to do anything about his behaviour. I would make it known to her that is really wasn't acceptable though.

He smashed the easter egg stash.

YANBU

Sounds like if you want to continue the friendship, it should be at her house or somewhere neutral like a wood or a field. But TBH, your parenting styles seem completely incompatible so I can't see working.
Is her son heading for nursery in September? That might change things.

He does seem very spirited lively. Is he her first?

Assuming that the 3yo is NT, then your friend really needs to start parenting properly - that includes setting boundaries about appropriate behaviour, and taking action when boundaries are crossed.

If mine had ever acted like this, we'd have been going home straight after the cupboard / chocolate shenanigans.

Thank you all for relpies, glad to see im no being silly about this.

Scrummymummy- he doesnt have special needs but does needs boundaries, he is a big 3yr old hes the size and height of a 6yr, sometimes i feel she may be overwhelmed by this.
Mrsscoob - sadly i have told her many times, nicely and bluntly.
It still doesnt sink it, i think our friendship may be well coming to the end as she seems to think im overeacting

Sorry if ive come across blaming him, i didnt mean it too, i have told her nicley and bluntly about how i feel/his behaviour but she still chooses to ignore what i say, so i get the feeling she really doesnt care.

Her thinking that you are overreacting says it all really. This friendship isn't going to continue. I wouldn't be that sorry either. I would find to far too hard to be around someone who thinks it is ok for her child to behave like this and if she doesn't tackle it, it is only going to get worse.

YANBU.

She should have been apologising and offering to pay for the damage before disciplining her son. A stern voice that can be ignored isn't enough. At three he should have been taken home for not behaving.

I'd probably end a friendship over this as the friend obviously thinks it's OK for your home to be trashed without making amends. Total lack of respect. She's not likely to change.

Fallencaryatrid-Yes he is her first, and he does behave like this at her house, we stopped going to the park as it got too out of hand.
I totally agree We do have different parenting styles

He attends nursery two days a week and does have problems there to

YANBU at all. She sat back doing nothing to discipline her child. I would have been mortified and would pay for any damage. I do nt let my dd5 ASD get away with bad beaviour