AIBU to go and live in a cave with...

[alistron1]

My OFRS containing 3 bottles of gin, a case of wine, some nice tea bags, quality biscuits, my iPod and a Robert Plant poster?

Fucking rain, fucking stupid questions, fucking kids arguing, fucking cat, fucking bollocking school holidays.

Please do not reply if you are snitty, tee total or live somewhere hot and sunny.

Can I join you with a stash of chocolate and books?

You should add a kettle and some matches, unless you're planning on having cold gin tea?

Hmm, that sounds quite appealing right now actually.

I'll take a cave too. I think I'll take with me... my iphone, and my kindle, and a bumper supply of cola and chocolate...

I'll pm you the location.

Has your cat been neutered?

Yes the cat has been neutered. He has fleas though. Fleas resistant to every fucking thing. AIBU to leave the bastard?!

Is it a clean, tidy cave where no-one drops F-ing crumbs all over the F-ing place, and when you clear a space it stays clear for more than ten seconds?

If so, I'm in.

It will be a cave where mo' fo's look after their own shit. No crumbs, no fleas.

Worra, was that a DELIBERATE stupid question? Do you feel lucky punk?!

I'll bring a kettle & big pile of favourite books.
Do you suppose we could plant grave vines & make our wine?

Who or what is your cat actually fucking?

Yes leave him

He'll need some privacy

A kettle would be handy tbh.

Is this a cave where the others in it will hear what I am saying the first time... Not the 3rd time when I use my shrill shouty voice?

Have you go wifi in your cave?

As long as the cave has a lovely deep hot bath, I'm in.

Toasted marshmallow anyone?

My kids were so vile today they missed out on the cinema and new mp3 players each for holiday!

We go tomorrow but to be quite honest I would rather be in a hotel room ON MY OWN with SKY TV, magazines and books, room service, jacuzzi and a hideous amount of alcohol.

And DH and the kids can go away.

Am sick of them.

And a generator. Can't be doing with matches in my current frame of mind.

Let me know if there's a cave next door free.

I just want 24 hours with no one starting a sentence with 'can I have'

Oh, if we're going luxury I want a jacuzzi. And a massage table. And a strapping young lad to leer at working as masseuse.

Chocolate, which one of you Feckers is bringing a lifetime supply of chockies? Mine's a nutella, btw.

There will be wifi and civilised conversation where you don't have to FUCKING repeat yourself.

If we contact the CA

Will we get caving benefit to help with the rent?

And no fecker will start a sentence with 'do you know where my...'

Am not sure I could survive in a cave.

I dream of a white room where everything is white and no one talks to me.......
ThinkingMentalHospital

Oh yeah, and CA will pay for extra rooms too.

We can whitewash the walls?