AIBU to go and live in a cave with...

[alistron1]

My OFRS containing 3 bottles of gin, a case of wine, some nice tea bags, quality biscuits, my iPod and a Robert Plant poster?

Fucking rain, fucking stupid questions, fucking kids arguing, fucking cat, fucking bollocking school holidays.

Please do not reply if you are snitty, tee total or live somewhere hot and sunny.

I don't care about the luxuries, well exempt wifi but that's hardly a luxury these days

Just someone to call me by my actual name and not muuuuuuuuuuuum

Count me in then

We'll need an extra room for the alcohol advisor

You know the one who advises us to drink as much as we want.

A cave with a river of wine and stalactites of frozen vodka.

Oh and a cave where I can use my own iPod charger without negotiating

Does it pain you all to know that I am, in fact, in Devon in the rain, in a 'chalet' chortle, ALL BY MYSELF!!!! And will not be joined until tomorrow evening. I have a whole bottle of wine a semi clean bath, and a bed all to myself.

sighs in contentment

Bloody bastard ;)

Drink - you lucky cow. You're living the dream.

do you drive? maybe a Camper van (like me)cos if i dont like the view , i"m off , best wishes

Kids are attempting to kill each other at full volume at 10 minute intervals. Cat is vomiting in inconvenient places.
Work is indescribable

I would love to join you in your cave, but cannot go too far from reliable toilet facilities or drink as have dysentery.

Dilys, the toilet facilities will be impeccable.

Yeah, but who will scrub the bog? We'll have to work out a bloody rota. One thing my kids are good for is scrubbing bogs.

We'll have one each.

i have a cave at the bottom of my garden its a bit dark and intresting but im more than happy to lend it to the cause

I'm considering this. My concern though is what happens in the event of a zombie attack. How zombie-proof is this cage?

And can we have a chef, please?

Cave, not cage

im more than happy to also throw in a cage.

i personally havent seen any zombies for some time and the last time on was seen it turned out to be me on a bad day. however should anyof you happen to know anything about electrics and what to do with armoured cable then you can wire in the jaccuzzi thats next to it

Sock, you have a cave and a jacuzzi? I have a physics gcse, consider the wiring done. See you soon.

thank feck for that ive been trying to take my finger out of my arse and get it sorted for 5 years

It's easy run a bit of cable off the gubbins and stick some plug sockets up. As long as you wear wellies in the cave you'll survive (a bit)

can i please join? only if you promise not to do the following:

empty the contents of the fridge and leave it on the counter and then get arsey when asked basic questions like- how long has this raw chicken been out of the fridge. on examining fridge contents, find empty fucking packets in there. who in gods name leaves food out but remembers to put empty fucking packets in there? why? also, none of you are allowed to consume cereal milk and bread faster than it can bought. or shut my blackberry in the car door when you shouldnt have had it in the first place and then refuse to apologise on the basis "its not like i meant to break if for fucks sake." or declare to all and sundry you are going to Chloes (you know her mum) for a sleep over when what you are actually doing is getting a train to a town fifty miles away to go to a party with a boy you only know through facebook. also if the only time you speak me to is to ask me for a tenner.

all i want is some peace, quiet and sensible adult company- what i am facing is taking the whole fucking shambles to holland for two weeks. I have actually checked out the nearest station and train times to get home if it becomes unbearable.

its ok i dont want a tenner

Aviva - feck holland, come to 'the cave'

i want to go to the cave with my whole heart. Is it the "happy place" that people keep telling me to go to?

Yes, yes - it IS that happy place

Jesus - I am so setting this up as a 'thing' screw kids clubs and that, or exotic beaches for happy couples 'THE CAVE' is where it is at