AIBU to go and live in a cave with...

[alistron1]

My OFRS containing 3 bottles of gin, a case of wine, some nice tea bags, quality biscuits, my iPod and a Robert Plant poster?

Fucking rain, fucking stupid questions, fucking kids arguing, fucking cat, fucking bollocking school holidays.

Please do not reply if you are snitty, tee total or live somewhere hot and sunny.

On no account must you lot consume > 6 pints of milk a day. Or if you do, I do not want to have any responsibility for keeping milk supplies in the cave. >

I now have a name for my happy place.

it is where i do not have to buy 42 pints of milk a week (yes really). where there will always be enough sockets. where if i leave gadgets to charge,they will still be there when i come back and charged( rather than unplugged and then abandoned). I will not have to leave half the shopping the car as the only way of avoiding it all being consumed in one day. I will not have to drive anyone anywhere ever. I will be able to drink- people will call me by my first name.

The Cave.

surely there would be Sunday Times Magazine lifestyle spread of The Cave?

This cave better be a big one it's getting pretty full! I'll come I'll bring my lap top and more biscuits and tea bags, and plenty of chocolate.

good god we need a digger my caves only little

Can I come too? I have most of a spectacularly expensive bottle of gin and make good cake.

I would just like somewhere I could have a pee without an audience and not have to answer a question that starts "errmmm...." or be screamed at by a bad tempered teething 1yo who hates the entire world. Apart from fucking Daddy. What the fuck is so good about Daddy?

I'd like to finish a fucking sentence, but more than that, I'd like to finish my wine in peace. I'd like to have my dinner without wiping someone's bottom halfway through. I'd like to do something in the house without being questioned "Why". Please may I come to the white cave. I can do nice drawings and I am great at pouring wine, laughing and sleeping A LOT when given the fucking chance.

Thank you

Lljkk - ill share with you, I don't like milk so your 6 litres will be safe with me, although I insist that we have jacket potatoes for dinner. I chuffing love em but we never have em cos I can't cope with the 'it's not real food', 'I don't like the white bits', 'I don't like the skin bits' moaning.

Can I come even though I don't drink (someone is welcome to be my proxy and drink on my behalf).

I am happy to bring chocolate. All I ask for in return is a bathroom with a luffly shower where no one knocks on the door needing a wee no matter how long I am in there

I am all packed up (mainly booze) where is this cave? I have cake as well if it helps?

The cave is inside all of us, if we dare to find it. And if we drink enough wine.

God, I'm profound ;)

Whats the council tax like and will I still get my tax credits with

Cave,
La la Land.

as my address?

Not I you have a postman like ours coprolite, your tax credits will end up in Azerbaijan
Cave requirements include a postman that can fecking read (currently get post for wrong street/town!), for DS to stop calling me "dada" or "Barbara" since I am neither , and some naice ham -not the horrible eyelash/testicle composite that DP calls ham

I've been to a place in France where people live in caves.They're all done out proper and I would love to buy one when I win the lottery.

If milk is a problem i can bring a lovely jersey cow that i can milk but she'll have to live outside because i'm not dealing with shit in the cave. Can sentences beginning "I want " be banned and absolutely no cbeebies EVER. It should be safe to leave my knitting out without finding it deconstructed the minute my back is turned.

Im in, away from a toddler who asks why every five min and a housework allergic Cricket obsessed DH. And the bloody moulting cat