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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be so moved by the Tony Nicklinson case?

95 replies

Wigglewoo · 17/08/2012 07:10

The poor man :( .. Totally sound of mind but unable to move or communicate except for moving his eyelids ... Denied the right to die.

One of the things that really moved me was how tenderly his wife was caring for him, they have been together so long and there is real unconditional love between them. The kind of love that lasts beyond everything.

So so sad.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 17/08/2012 07:12

I just don't know how anyone can justify not allowing him to die. He is more than capable of verbalise his choice but is physically unable to do so himself. The poor man shouldn't have to feel trapped in his own body when he is so unhappy

TrudiRed · 17/08/2012 07:37

I agree. It is simply cruel to keep him alive against his wishes. He and his wife are so brave. I realise the ruling would have opened a huge can of worms about assisted euthanasia but surely there has to be some humanity in a case like this?

Itsjustafleshwound · 17/08/2012 07:43

What the f&k is so brave about wanting to die !!!!

There are people with huge disabilities who don't start talking about killing themselves and just get on with living the best life they can.

Seriously, how does he expect a govt to condone murder?

Sirzy · 17/08/2012 07:47

So because one person is able to come to terms and live with their disability everyone should be able to even if that means for that person they have a lifetime of misery?

If it was a relative of yours who was trapped in his own body knowing exactly what he wants but unable to carry that out would you really be happy to sit by and watch that suffering?

ThisWeekonFancyPuffin · 17/08/2012 07:52

I feel terrible for him I had to turn the Sky News interview he did yesterday off as it was so heartbreaking. I believe he should have the right to make the choice he wants.

It's also left me feeling all out of sorts as dh had a Stroke in December and it's dredged up the fear I had in the early days about his recovery.

danteV · 17/08/2012 07:53

Itsjust - such a bizarre post.
This man in trapped in his body, you do realise there are not many people in the country 'more disabled' than him that can communicate. He wishes to die, that's his choice, its a choice everyone should have. You have that choice, I have that choice.
People would be called cruel to keep a dog alive, if it had a similar condition.

Itsjustafleshwound · 17/08/2012 07:58

I wouldn't be happy to think that I would be supporting the idea that when someone has decided that they don't want to live anymore that there will be some allowance in the law that they can commit murder.

It just doesn't sit easy with me. They can dress it up and give it a human element, but in essence, they are asking the law to condone murder.

He may be of sound mind and able to be in the fortunate position of being to make these decisions, but I think the law needs to err on the side of caution.

Sirzy · 17/08/2012 08:00

You call that a fortunate position?? What part of that position is fortunate at all? I assume then if you think he is fortunate you would be happy to spend the rest of your life in that position?

What a thoughtless comment.

TrudiRed · 17/08/2012 08:06

It IS brave to make such a huge choice for yourself and it is very brave of his wife to support him in his choice. I'm sure she would rather he was alive whatever his physical condition but she understands how he feels. She has lived beside him like this and is imo the only person who can come close to understanding what he has been though. The rest of us should not sit in judgement because we have not been there. This is obviously a very emotive debate and of course there are two sides to every story and I suppose people will never agree on this. I believe we should as individuals have the right to choose for ourselves.

Itsjustafleshwound · 17/08/2012 08:07

He has the choice to end his life.

Are we now doing a chart of shades of disability - and when does a disability be ome so overriding that the choice then kicks in ??

Dogs lick their balls And smelll eachothers arseholes - not the same ...

danteV · 17/08/2012 08:12

How is it not the same? Its considered cruel to let a dog live like that but not a human because of...?
yes he could commit suicide, but you would want someone to have a painful death?

Sirzy · 17/08/2012 08:13

So dogs cant be left to suffer but humans can?

Each case needs to be taken on a case by cases basis looking at the individual merits. You can't make a one size fits all ruling on a case like this but you can look and see an individual who has made his wishes clear and respect those wishes.

danteV · 17/08/2012 08:13

actually reading the story back how exactly can he commit suicide?

Sirzy · 17/08/2012 08:14

He can't thats part of the problem because he has so little control of his own body he is in a position whereby the only way he could kill himself would be to go on hunger strike which would lead to a long painful death and increase the suffering for his family.

Pickgo · 17/08/2012 08:17

Gosh Itsjust you really know how to have a reasoned, compassionate debate about this sensitive issue don't you?

I have never understood why other people feel it is their right to pass judgement on someone else who decides to take their own life. - It is their decision in my opinion.

I suppose it stems from the days when suicide could be prosecuted as it was regarded as a Christian sin.

I think if I were this poor man's ife I would administer tablets or something and trust to a jury's compassion subsequently - and hope Itsjust and her ilk weren't on it

Binkyridesagain · 17/08/2012 08:18

His choice is to starve himself to death, it will add further to his pain and suffering, add further pain and suffering to his family and it is an horrendous death to go through and be a witness to. That isn't a choice.

Pickgo · 17/08/2012 08:19

*ife=wife

OneOfMyTurnsComingOn · 17/08/2012 08:21

That's just it, isn't it? He is totally unable to commit suicide.

Who are we to judge, unless in that position ourselves?

DP suggested that they should set up some system whereby he answers a series of questions using his computer, to enable the decision to be made to end his life.

Sparklingbrook · 17/08/2012 08:23

I am not going to link but on the DM website today there are a lot of pictures of him crying. It is heartbreaking. Then they have printed lots of pics of him before the stroke.

Itsjustafleshwound · 17/08/2012 08:23

Fortunate because it hasn't been a condition he has had from birth and is still of sound mind to actually make this decision.

Fortunate that he is sound of mind and able to be make the decision without undue influence from his family.

If he wanted to commit suicide he could go to Switzerland

Binkyridesagain · 17/08/2012 08:27

Do you know what is involved in going to Switzerland?

Why shouldn't he have the right to die at home surrounded by the ones he loves, in peace, without fear that whoever assist him in his death will be investigated, potentially charged and potentially found guilty and sentenced?

FreeBirdsFlying · 17/08/2012 08:28

Itsjust its a debate about compassion and moral society not about characteristic habits of dogs.

Personally I think this man should be allowed to die with dignity. It is his choice,it dosen't mean that everyone with a disability or terminal illness will be euthanised,it just gives a choice. If it were me I would not want my family to have to watch me suffer. I have done that and it is heartbreaking.

FreeBirdsFlying · 17/08/2012 08:30

Fortunate that he has his mind locked inside his body that does not respond? That is one of the most ignorant comments I have ever read.

Sparklingbrook · 17/08/2012 08:34

I think unless this was your Dad/Husband/Brother/Son it is impossible to know how you would feel in these circumstances.

It is heartbreaking for all.

Itsjustafleshwound · 17/08/2012 08:34

Before I really get feathered and tarred with the uncompassionate brush, I do think that it is difficult to argue against a case like Tony's.

But fundamentally he is asking us to ratify him wanting to pull the trigger and condone murder - I can't. No matter how compelling the reasons are I don't want to be the one holding the gun.

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