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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to declare it IMPOSSIBLE to poo on an aeroplane?

78 replies

AuntLucyInPeru · 16/08/2012 15:07

DH can (and does - urgh!) I could 't countenance it. You?

Ps, am not a/the poo troll. Promise

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2012 16:11

I know, it sounds ridiculous mini.

Go on Poop. Surprise us.

shumway · 16/08/2012 16:12

Ooh Sparklingbrook I am like you - I didn't wee at all on a flight from Albuquerque to London.

Petsinmyolympicpudenda · 16/08/2012 16:12

go on then poop

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2012 16:14

High five shumway.

Come on poop I have finished my cup of tea.

TheCunningStunt · 16/08/2012 16:17

Oh god no. I can only poo in my own house. Which makes it really hard when I go away. I was at my MILs over the summer for a week. On day 4 I was very uncomfortable. Despite my best efforts to relax and "let go". But nope. So I took two laxatives. Having never taken laxatives before, I took another 2 just four hours later. I ended up running to MILS loo at 5 in the morning.

I was on it for a solid hour and I swear it never stopped. My god. I hadn't crapped in this woman's toilet in the 5 years I have known her. And that day, I must have emptied my entire colon and blocked her toilet

Is it Friday? Don't we talk poo on a Friday? Or is that something else?

Petsinmyolympicpudenda · 16/08/2012 16:18

Anal sex is on Friday. Same hole different function

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2012 16:24

I have not had anal sex on an aeroplane.

Petsinmyolympicpudenda · 16/08/2012 16:25

It would be an amazing achievement to have anal in an aeroplane loo. they are the size of a shoe box

Spuddybean · 16/08/2012 16:27

DP poos everywhere we go and stinks out the place. When we were last on a plane he said he needed the loo and and i said 'please don't...' with a kind of pleading face on and he cut me off and said 'don't worry i wont' and went off to the loo.

He then came back and the whole cabin stank. People were looking over. When he sat down he smiled at me and i said 'i thought you said you wouldn't do a poo' and he looked confused and said 'no i didn't'. I said when i said 'please don't, you said you wouldn't' so he answered 'oh i thought you meant don't have a wank!'

So now i am wondering just wtf DP does in the loos on plane journeys!

ExitPursuedByAGoldenBear · 16/08/2012 16:29

I was very impressed with the size of the loos on the big Airbus thingy - until I discovered that I was using the disabled toilet .

When I used the correct loo it was long but extremely thin, and my Tongan frame struggled to sit down let alone strain - so no pooing for me on that flight.

AdoraBell · 16/08/2012 16:34

The toilet is there because it would be highly unreasonable to expect passengers to go the whole flight, even if they don't eat or drink, without feeling the need to use the toilet. Much like restaurants, and shopping malls.

Yes, some people are embarrassed by bodily functions but the fact is, when you gotta go, you gotta go. So yes, I would, and have, do a poo in a toilet on an plane.

HecateHarshPants · 16/08/2012 16:34

Any attempt at anal sex would have us joining the mile high club. Me cos that's how high I'd jump if he tried it and him cos that's how far I'd kick him once I'd come back down!

BadgersRetreat · 16/08/2012 16:35

yeah i have the fear of public pooing thing too

a month camping in Europe cured me a bit - but i wouldn't have a poo on a plane...coz of the people waiting...no siree

TheCunningStunt · 16/08/2012 16:38

Aaah Bumsex is on a Friday....good god , anal aeroplane antics!

Elephantscantdothemoonwalk · 16/08/2012 16:38

If i need to go i go. Even on planes. even had diorrahe on a plane thats a flight i am.not repeating

Dd pooed in her nappy on a flight to egypt when she was 15 months was the take off. My god! I turned green.

StunningCunt · 16/08/2012 16:38

My shit doesn't smell.

noelstudios · 16/08/2012 16:39

I did a poo whilst out on a run the other day. Found a handy tree to hide under though... Was done and dusted in seconds.

Level3at6months · 16/08/2012 16:39

Nope, couldn't poo on a train either. Well, could if no option, but my body likes its home comforts poo-wise and doesn't demand to go in nasty places. Did manage a squat toilet in a Lithuanian bus station but still recovering 10 years on...

As an aside, I flew every couple of months with DS between the ages of 2 and 6 and he still doesn't know there are toilets on planes

mollymole · 16/08/2012 16:41

Solesource - was it your own bag or one that an unsuspecting person had just put down whilst reaching their shopping ??

poopnscoop · 16/08/2012 16:49

Okay... you have been warned...

We were heading into a game park in South Africa... a huge park where you have to drive 30km per hour... slow and steady.

I had a milky drink, and within 30 minutes of being inside the park gates, my tummy started cramping... we were a long way from the closest camp (and toilet! ).

So we stopped at a water hole... and I had to poo in a bag on the front seat... DH was sitting in the driver's seat trying not to faint... it was a very runny and smelly poo due to the milk... I could not get out the car as we had 2 lionesses eyeing us out as they lazed alongside the waterhole... in that park WE are on the food chain.

Half of it didn't go in the bag of course, there was just too much and it was too runny and we both felt sick... I was cramping and he was dying a slow death ... we were in a HOT car with no air conditioner... due to the lions being close by we didn't want to chance opening the window even.

It got all over my clothes of course, and I stripped down, popped a towel around me and crawled... embarrassed and crampy, into the back seat... my taxi driver (darling DH), drove onto the camp as quickly as we could.. it took a good 40 minutes to get there... and with the searing heat (upper 30 deg celcius... midday!), the car was heaving, I was now needing to vomit I felt so sick, his face was drained of colour, knuckles clenched white on the steering wheel.

We get to the camp... we can open a window finally.. YAY!!!! The guard asks us to both go in to sign in... DH says the wife is feeling unwell, he will just go in... (can you imagine if I had to go in too???).

We drive onto our chalet... I run to the toilet and sit there (pooing some more!!!!) for a good while, while the dear, dear man washed the seat... it took many washes and I sat on the back seat for our self drives for the week we were there, so the chair could dry out...

It's a blackmail he will hold over my head till the day I am dropped 6 ft under

thegoatswife · 16/08/2012 16:50

I often get a bad urge to poo on a run; luckily I've always been close enough to home; I'd be horrified if I was too far away though (a few times it's been a close call?.) It's the worst thing- I think they call it "joggers trots"!!!!

Clumsymum · 16/08/2012 16:50

oh good god you are all strange.

I just don't get the urge to poo unless I'm at home (or at least in wherever is my temporary home on holiday or whatever).

Usually when I'm in on my own , or DH/DS are occupied and don't realise I've gone to the loo. This isn't deliberate in any way, it's just how my body works.

Psammead · 16/08/2012 16:58

Poopnscoop! Oh I could cry for you. Or laugh at you forever. Oh, that sounds so horrendous!

Petsinmyolympicpudenda · 16/08/2012 16:58

poop I think you have the ultimate poo post!

LulaPalooza · 16/08/2012 16:59

Oh poopnscoop that must have been... shit! (sorry) you poor thing. Just keep praying for DH to have a poo catastrophe one day. I'm sure he will.

As for me, I poo twice a day, every day. At least. So I have had to poo on long haul flights. It really doesn't bother me. We mainly take overnight flights anyway so I just wait until everyone else is asleep.

Mr Palooza won't poo anywhere except for at home... although recently he admitted - with a proud look on his face like a small child that he had done his first ever poo at work.

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