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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

new neighbours, taking the p*ss!! helppp

89 replies

claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 13:35

about 6 weeks ago we have had new neighbours, there are 6 children ageing from 2 to13, Our street was quite a respectful street but now its turned into a typical estate, the children are constantly running through my front garden and i have repeatedly asked them not to due to the fact that it gets boggy and ruins my garden. same with the back garden they just do as they pleased have tried talking to the parents does not work, I have stone borders in my front garden and are now around the street, they just leave there bikes on my property and the parents do not see what is wrong with this. I have 3 children ageing from 5 weeks to 4 years and they are in good routines in bed at 7 every night now these kids are out screaming til at least 9 at night including the 2 year old they don't watch them and they are in and out the road my health visitor had to slam on the other day because of this. The 2 year old is not the most stable but plays in the middle of the street cars are always breaking due to this. the whole street is stressed and we all have had words but nothing is working!! they have just disturbed us all. what do i do???

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 16/08/2012 14:28

oh I see you've already spoken to them, well, then if they aren't scared of their mum, they might need to be scared of you, can you shout at them to get out of your garden? I'd call the community police about the DCs playing int he road.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 16/08/2012 14:28

People are being very unfair on the OP. Yes her initial phrasing was unfortunate, but would you lot like your neighbours to behave this way? I'm guessing not.

Let nothing stand in the way of a good stoning though.

JennerOSity · 16/08/2012 14:28

typical - stereotypical - does it matter that much?

If where OP is from it is normal/common for an estate to have some children with minimal supervision and problems recognising boundaries then she isn't out of order using that term.

Can we just help her with suggestions what she might do? Hmm

To be honest I haven't been in this situation OP so not sure, what is the reason you can't put fences up? Sorry if you have already said.

Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:31

i have spoken to the neighbours. no luck. local police will be contacted. It is shame I hate being a cow bout things. and would love to get on with everyone on my street. But my partner and I have even considered moving as it can get so bad with the screaming in the streets at night time (swearing, fighting and even graffiti)! Just want a peaceful life with my family...

OP posts:
elizaregina · 16/08/2012 14:31

If you talk to the mum, perhaps you could ask her permisson to tell them not to run across your garden.

to try and not cause tension perhaps you cld say - your DH is giong mad at you about the grass, so perhaps if she cant control them she would let you try, as dh is bugging you>

sad to think she has lost control of her children at such a young age?

My dd was very keen to play with them next door - BUT after a few nasty incidents we have to tell her that they arnt really friends if they treat her like that...i have also like said managed to keep her away from them to try and stop a habit forming of playing with them, this seems to have worked but it means i have to go out alot when i dont feel like it ( currenlty expecting DD2), BUT its worth it....

what you dont want is habit forming, they are playing so yours can too....if they are mean to her - you jave to say - thats not nice - are they your friends etc....

horrid but what can you do?

squeakytoy · 16/08/2012 14:31

Sadly, from experience, there is not much you can do, because the type of people who happily let their kids run riot, disturbing others, usually do not take kindly to anyone asking them to behave more respectfully, because they do not think they are doing anything wrong in the first place. They are more likely to tell you to fuck off and encourage their kids to do it all the more.

diabolo · 16/08/2012 14:31

Did you notice the name of the letting agent when it became available for rent? If so, you could contact them and make a complaint via them.

elizaregina · 16/08/2012 14:32

tbh,

you may have to move....even if this lot move whose to say another lot wont move in.

Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:33

the reason in the landlord does not like them as it is only a small front garden, I have ordered fencing for the back waiting fro them to come now! can not wait! as I have been sat here writing on here I have just had stones chucked around my garden and have had to go out and tell them and the reply was a big " f**k off! "

OP posts:
elizaregina · 16/08/2012 14:34

Sadly, from experience, there is not much you can do, because the type of people who happily let their kids run riot, disturbing others, usually do not take kindly to anyone asking them to behave more respectfully

sad but true.

it could cause alot more tension and problems.

Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:34

oh and we have the same landlord and have spoken to my landlord and still waiting for something to happen!!

OP posts:
Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:36

yes you are right eliza Its just feels like Im waiting for something bad to happen.. which of course do not want!!

OP posts:
sausagesandmarmelade · 16/08/2012 14:36

If the parents won't listen then report them to social services and/or the local police. They don't sound responsible..

ddubsgirl · 16/08/2012 14:37

you will to keep a log of things going on,it does take awhile but keep repoting-keep asking for fence to be put up in front garden.

elizaregina · 16/08/2012 14:38

well if its the landlord who dosent like them i would contact him immedialty and tel him the problem, you sound like you maintain your garden too - which is something he shold be grateful for...

we had stones at the weekend - i am paranoid about chucking stones as a boy at primary school was hit by one in the eye and had a blood clot on his brain.

the mum saw and stopped it though.

as hard and painful and annoying as it is - i woldnt plough energy into getting upset - waiting for more to come, if the mum wont control them you have no chance - i would really get resigned to moving.....life is too short and its horrid to have to expose your own DC to horrid out of control behaviour like that....

icecold · 16/08/2012 14:39

OP do you think the parents are ok? I mean the mum really, if the dad is out at work? It's not normal to let a 2 year old play in the road unsupervised...it would suggest the mum was struggling, or neglect to me

When you talked to her about the kids being in your garden, how did she respond?

It's good to be proud of your acheivements and to want to do well for yourself and your family. I don't know why you are getting such a hard time. I live in an area with a lot of drug addicts/high crime/ deprivation and prostitution. It's ludicrous to suggest that you are a anon to want better for your kids. Maybe you should have said stereotypical rather than typical. But take no notice of all the comments from posters who probably live in semi-detaches in leafy suburbia

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 16/08/2012 15:12

To be fair though, there is no reason to let another family walk all over yours because you think the mother having a hard time. The OP is not responsible for the mother's well being.

Are you able to move? Can you bear the thought of it?

JennerOSity · 16/08/2012 15:12

I think maybe the fact you have the same landlord may help. If you can get hold of them, they won't want to lose a steady tenant (and another and another) because of this one family.

If there is anything in the tenancy agreement about behaviour he/she may be able to use that to influence neighbourly relations?

JennerOSity · 16/08/2012 15:14

I agree with Eliza I'd be looking at moving, at least you are renting not owning so that should be relatively simple. Shame, but as said, if the parents aren't bothered what can you do!

alemci · 16/08/2012 15:24

it doesn't sound good. I hope it gets sorted out. they shouldn't let their kids run over your garden and most people would be embarrassed if their children were throwing stones.

why do people have to be abusive i.e f... off. not on. it would be my worst nightmare if i lived nextdoor to a family like that,

Kayano · 16/08/2012 15:44

I would be takin their bikes off my property and chucking ten over the fence in a god awful heap

GhouliaYelps · 16/08/2012 15:52

For one comment you have been crucified!

I think you have reason to be upset and they sound awful OP. really hope it gets sorted out.

icecold · 16/08/2012 15:56

ariel I didn't mean to suggest that at all....I was meaning, does she need to phone health visitor/ social services or someone to get someone to help the kids/family?

elizaregina · 16/08/2012 16:00

in the mean time keep on at stupid landlord then - for fences - say its un aceptable bla bla bla and you want fences, you are paying for that front garden you dont want others trepassing on it - keep hassling... - tbh i would pay myself - we have done to our fence - its not even our responisbilty and we have spent a fortune on mainting the stupid thing....BUT its worth it.

i really dont like LL - i know some are good out there but there are not enough restrictins on them.

If your LL came down hard on this lady - YOU WILL LOOSE THIS HOUSE IF YOU CONTINUE TO LET CHILDREN RUN WILD AND DISTURB NEIGHBOURS - YOU WILL LOOSE DEPOSIT, she may have more motivation to get them in line.

what motivation does she have now though? its MORE peaceful for her to let them entertain themselves doing whatever.

elizaregina · 16/08/2012 16:01

re nasty comments to op =- i personally tend to go on threads where i feel an empathy for the op -usually, not to pick on one sentance and hound and hound and hound....

i think op some people just like to pick a fight all day!