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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

new neighbours, taking the p*ss!! helppp

89 replies

claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 13:35

about 6 weeks ago we have had new neighbours, there are 6 children ageing from 2 to13, Our street was quite a respectful street but now its turned into a typical estate, the children are constantly running through my front garden and i have repeatedly asked them not to due to the fact that it gets boggy and ruins my garden. same with the back garden they just do as they pleased have tried talking to the parents does not work, I have stone borders in my front garden and are now around the street, they just leave there bikes on my property and the parents do not see what is wrong with this. I have 3 children ageing from 5 weeks to 4 years and they are in good routines in bed at 7 every night now these kids are out screaming til at least 9 at night including the 2 year old they don't watch them and they are in and out the road my health visitor had to slam on the other day because of this. The 2 year old is not the most stable but plays in the middle of the street cars are always breaking due to this. the whole street is stressed and we all have had words but nothing is working!! they have just disturbed us all. what do i do???

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Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:03

I would not know about there finances. the husband is a high up mechanic, and are both at least double my age. Im sure they are probably better off then me actually.

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 16/08/2012 14:04

No, I don't agree with what's happening, which is obviously why I've already said it doesn't sound good.

But I do think you are being very rude and it should occur to you you will annoy people by assuming a 'typical estate' means people being bad parents or criminals!

Your neighbours do sound a right bloody pain, I will agree with that.

Binkyridesagain · 16/08/2012 14:04

How do you know where other posters have come from?
You are looking down your nose, drugs, drinking,unruly kids etc are not 'typical estate'

Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:06

I am sorry if i offended anyone I would change what I put If i knew I would offend anyone, I started out in a bad place and got better and do not mean any offence at all.

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Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:06

as I said did not mean in a bad way maybe should of worded it different.

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ElsieMc · 16/08/2012 14:08

NovackNGood - Sarcastic, unpleasant comment. You would seriously welcome having your peace and privacy destroyed when you had already moved from one area full of drug/drink problems? Past problems can make people sensitive, but the op expresses concern for the children involved, so I don't think she IBU at all - just concerned as are the neighbours.

WorraLiberty · 16/08/2012 14:09

With the greatest of respect, you're only in the place you're in because your partner earns well surely?

I mean if you've been having babies/being pregnant since you were 16 years old?

If your partner earned less, would you not be living on one of the estates you're talking about?

It wouldn't make you any less of the people you are now though would it?

LRDtheFeministDragon · 16/08/2012 14:09

It's ok, you're upset, I can see why you wrote without thinking about it.

But what do you plan to do?

I would reckon the biggest worry is the child in the street, as that's really not safe.

I got in touch with my local police about something fairly minor recently and they were really good, so it might be worth a try - there will be a non-emergency number and also forms you can fill in, about the children trespassing on your property. I don't know what they could do but no harm.

mollymole · 16/08/2012 14:11

Even though your 'typical estate' remark is out of order YANBU to expect that
children are brought up to understand that they do not run around on some one elses garden, be it unfenced or not. A child of 2 should not be playing out unsupervised anywhere, especially in the road.

You have your standards, others have different standards but it is just the way life is.

Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:14

Thank you ElsieMc. I worked in between and I also worked whilst pregnant. not amazing money but I tried. he is not earning loads and loads he is on an average wage. He was in the army but had to start off small in the outside of the army. Like I said I started on a worse place, It gets to me the fact that I was speaking with my neighbour the other day and she is trying to get her partner to quit his job as they are only 15 pounds a week better off with him working. And It was very hard living in a bad place and yes was the same as i am today...

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Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:16

Thank yo dragon, I am one of the foot in my mouth people say first think second..... no t good. yes I will deffo try that, He is a lovely little boy and just do not want to see anyone get hurt. And that is the way I have brought my girls up mollymole, I agree everyone has different standards.

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griphook · 16/08/2012 14:17

Does it get to you that they can afford a house in your road.

But to be fair no yanbu, two year old should not be playing on there own out the front, personally I would contact community police

Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:18

no of course not I wish the best for them for there children's sake. Its just I suppose I am annoyed for the children safety.

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justwantcheese · 16/08/2012 14:19

Give the girl a break and,stop banging on because she said typical estate.

griphook · 16/08/2012 14:19

How do you know where other posters have come from?
You are looking down your nose, drugs, drinking,unruly kids etc are not 'typical estate'

Aren't drugs something that should be looked down upon though. Drugs ruin people's life unless they are very disciplined

Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:20

thank you..

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squeakytoy · 16/08/2012 14:20

Stop bloody picking on the OP. Would any of you be happy with what really is stereotypical council estate behaviour ruining your own comfort at home? I doubt it.

Some people are considerate decent people with pride in their homes, and some (usually those who have not had to work hard to pay for their homes) do not give a shit.

And the fact is the majority of the latter are in HA housing or council property.

The estate near us is split into private and HA housing. It is very clearly obvious which is which too. The private estate does not have old sofa's and broken furnture on the wasteland that is meant to be a garden at the front of their houses. The police rarely have to blue light it to the private side, but are in the HA side on an almost daily basis. Including an armed stand off a couple of years ago.. during which (as the police tried to seal off the area), they were harassed by kids as young as 3 telling them to fuck off, while the parents stood around with cans of beer laughing...

LRDtheFeministDragon · 16/08/2012 14:20

They might not have different standards - they might be actively struggling, from what you're saying, so it's not a bad thing to get on the case, I think.

elizaregina · 16/08/2012 14:21

cloudz,

I really feel for you - I have similar prob myself - trying to get our DD into bed then see next doors running wild till all hours etc...

She wants to play with them but it always always ends in tears, its got to the stage where if i hear they are in the garden, i try and not let my DD hear.

They taunt DD, gang up on her - saw him tring to vicously poke her with a metal pole the other day tell her they wont be her friend if she wont do something, smashed something of hers - physically grabbed her etc....

we have a fence up so they cant come in garden, but its still bloody annoying.

I am very very strict on DD hurting another child, thankfully she never has really but i still watch her.

So it makes me furious that these kids get away with anything, well the parents do tell them off but its not effective.

If i were you i would put fences up, even at front, there must be all kinds of fences you could errect...

eventually your DD will hopefuly loose interest in them, but to be hinest i doubt it!

Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:22

I have apologised many times for saying typical estate and I think I have put my point across in the best I can, I just wanted sum advice on what to do for there safety and how to stop them running across my grass I did not want an argument.

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Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:25

Eliza, am I sorry to hear this. that is horrid, my 3 year gets pushed around as well, It is just sad to see my girls upset over this. I hope the fences help you.
And hope everything goes well.
worse is the mother does not tell them off she told me they just don't listen and she given up....
Good luck

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Binkyridesagain · 16/08/2012 14:26

Drugs, drinking unruly kids are not ' typical estate', I could have expanded that sentence to include, they are occur in all walks or life, no matter where you live, what you earn, or the clothes on you back, I chose not to add this extra bit as i assumed ( wrongly) that people would get the gist

griphook · 16/08/2012 14:26

In regard to garden all you can do if you've already spoken to parents is move them of your bit each time.

But you have said you have spoken to them so I think that in all honestly your losing the battle

But in regard to children running in roads definitely contact local police

DontmindifIdo · 16/08/2012 14:26

Have you spoken to the neighbours and asked them to tell their DCs to stay out of your garden?

Original poster
claudz1990 · 16/08/2012 14:27

Squeakytoy I think you understand what I meant.. really appreciated!!

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