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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that entering a person's house without knocking is rude?

63 replies

Nancyclancy · 15/08/2012 16:14

I am quite a sociable person and I'm happy for friends/family to knock at my door, open it and call out to me.
However this morning I was sitting in my front room with my eldest when I looked up to see my dh uncle standing in my front room doorway. I was a bit [shocked] as I wasn't dressed (in dressing gown.)
He needed to borrow something from our shed. When he left, I asked my ds if he'd heard him knock, he hadn't.
This is happening more and more and it's starting to annoy me, especially as the family members doing it aren't even close.
I went through a phase of locking my doors and found that if I didn't answer really quickly they'd peer through our windows!!!

It's not so much the just walking in that grates me. It's the appearing in the doorway suddenly that pisses me off as it's invading our privacy. I could have been naked ths morning!!

OP posts:
Shutupanddrive · 15/08/2012 16:18

YANBU, lock your door

Kladdkaka · 15/08/2012 16:18

So lock your doors. And if they peer through windows, stick up some nets. Sorted.

MiggleMoo · 15/08/2012 16:19

I must admit there are family members houses who I will just walk into but this is limited to DPs and DPiLs, I would find it abit odd, but it depends if it is the established norm and they think it is ok to do that...

DawnOfTheDee · 15/08/2012 16:20

Argh! My FIL tries to do this. I hear the handle of my front door go and then hear the 'thunk' as he can't open it BECAUSE IT'S LOCKED. He then knocks. Confused

Calabria · 15/08/2012 16:22

YANBU

My husband's best mate never knocks and it drives me insane. He comes round nearly every week day for the evening meal and at other random times. I've had to put up with it for ten years and I can't do anything about it as my husband doesn't mind, friend is happy for us to wander into his house (10 doors away, but I always knock) and they used to live together. I HATE IT!!!

I did mention how much I hate it but he grew up with an open door policy and looked at me like I had two heads :(

FermezLaBouche · 15/08/2012 16:24

No, YANBU, I bloody hate it! MY letting agency recently sent round a plumber who decided to knock once and walk straight in, I was not very pleased. My fault for not locking the door but to be honest I've never felt the need to keep the door locked when I'm at home during the day.

FermezLaBouche · 15/08/2012 16:25

Calabria I'm a bit shocked he didn't take not when you said you hated it. Schools have "open-door" policies, houses don't!

reddaisy · 15/08/2012 16:26

I also hate this! DD had a friend to play and her mum let herself in when she came to collect her and went upstairs uninvited to have a nosey! I was Shock as I don`t even know the woman!

WorraLiberty · 15/08/2012 16:27

Even schools don't have open door policies now

It's all electronic gates and intercom systems here

FermezLaBouche · 15/08/2012 16:29

Ah - "open door policies" in school are still there in the brochures and websites, but yes, in reality you either have to scale 7 foot fences or get through 4 electrified gates... :)

MrsKeithRichards · 15/08/2012 16:29

With friends and family its knock and walk in. I don't see the problem, I quite like it. In the same way I like it when friends kick of their shoes and curl up on my sofa. It's a home, I like that people feel at home.

ImperialBlether · 15/08/2012 16:31

Why are some people responding by saying the OP should lock her door? Surely the problem's with the walk in guests, not with the OP?

OP, the only thing I found worked when my ex did that was to scream really loudly. He didn't do it again.

Flossyfloof · 15/08/2012 16:33

My neighbours don't knock but come round and look through the sitting room window. As the OP (I think) said, you could be naked, or picking your nose or anything. I find it really unsettling but they are nice people and do a lot for me and I won't say anything.

Xayide · 15/08/2012 16:34

MIL used to do this but not when with my FIL.

I keep the door locked.

Probably just as well with this house as have had two strangers at different times try the front door on off chance it was open - I was in house behind nets. On the occasions my DH has left it unlocked we had a betetrware person barge in to retrieve their catalog and a salesman come in the hall way and was very difficult to get rid of. Like most things I put this odd behavior down to the area we are in.

bobbledunk · 15/08/2012 16:39

I'm always shocked by these threads at how many people keep open doors! Obviously if you don't want people walking in, keep the door locked. Do you not worry about intruders? Seriously anybody could walk in...

MrsKeithRichards · 15/08/2012 16:40

Bobble why would I lock my door when I'm in the house?

Original poster
Nancyclancy · 15/08/2012 16:41

I wouldn't mind so much if it was the middle of the day and my back door was wide open. But it was 9am this morning.
I didn't hear him come in at all and I don't like the fact that I could have been having a private conversation with someone and he would have heard everything. I'm sociable but if you can't have some privacy in your own home where can you.
Will definitely invest in one net curtains and will have to lck the door until they get the hint.

OP posts:
bobbledunk · 15/08/2012 16:42

As I said anybody could walk in!

Original poster
Nancyclancy · 15/08/2012 16:43

bobble I've never felt the need to lock my door. I have always felt safe!

OP posts:
BonkeyMollocks · 15/08/2012 16:46

Yanbu.

I am a private very private person.

You want to visit? Fine. But do not walk in much front door uninvited not that they could anyway I have one of those locks you can only open with a key on the outside .

laurenamium · 15/08/2012 16:46

Most of my friends and family just walk in here but they always let me know they are coming. If I am working from home (childminder) the doors are locked anyway! I would be saying something if I wasnt happy with the situation though!

MissKeithLemon · 15/08/2012 16:47

I'm the opposite from you OP - I get cross when friends/family knock and I have to answer the blardy door Grin I'm usually busy (work at home on top of usual stuff) and I just holler 'come in' if the door knocks! If no-one enters I will go and answer eventually

BonkeyMollocks · 15/08/2012 16:47

Typos!

Im not private very private , just private Grin

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 15/08/2012 16:48

I didn't realise so many people had doors you could just open with a handle, every house I've ever lived in has needed a key to open the front door from the outside, even if it's just been puiled shut and not deadlocked. Can you change the lock for one of these?

mumtomoley · 15/08/2012 16:48

What sort of front doors do you have that can just be opened?? I thought everyone had a Yale lock?!