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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That this is unacceptable

148 replies

bongobaby · 14/08/2012 14:30

I went into a well know phone shop at the weekend to purchase a mobile phone. The sales advisor was a young chap who was helpful when speaking to me. We were having a conversation about a network provider to which he then replied " yeah they are a bunch of c*s". It was a tumbleweed blowing past moment as I looked at him and then looked at my DC who was happily sitting beside me in the shop and had just clearly heard what had been said.

I quickly told the sales advisor to sush and not to say that word to which he just laughed!!. DC said mummy why did that man say that naughty word...
I have complained to the customer service but all they said was sorry. AIBU to think and want a better response than that. I,M disgusted by the word being used infront of DC.

OP posts:
LadyBeagleEyes · 14/08/2012 15:47

What network was he talking about anyway OP?
At least you know they're cunts, so I take it you won't be using them.

DozyDuck · 14/08/2012 15:48

Op he never called your child a cunt did he?

You aren't being very nice yourself to anyone who has differing opinions...

danteV · 14/08/2012 15:48

I swear occasionally, but don't swear at work. That doesn't make sense. People act differently at work. Yes he may swear out of work and it slipped out.

tethersphotofinish · 14/08/2012 15:49

Yeah, come on you lot, stop giving the OP such a hard time.

You big bunch of cunts.

Original poster
bongobaby · 14/08/2012 15:49

Fanjita, At last somebodyelse who sees where I,m coming from. slip of the tongue in a public service role is bang out of order especially infront of a child. why do most posters think it ok to speak like this, just exactly what is going on here? And to jump on my back as if I,m in the wrong.
I should be grateful squeakytoy that he didn,t speak to my directly with the offensive word, Are you for real?

OP posts:
DozyDuck · 14/08/2012 15:50

Was he a young guy himself? Possible having a very sweary social life and no kids of his own?

Maybe he didn't realise it came out then laughed out of shock.

YABU to expect more than an apology.

YWNBU to complain.

HistoryNerd · 14/08/2012 15:50

OP, I think you should go and have a lovely lie down. You have clearly suffered a great, GREAT shock. Also make sure to book your child in for some serious therapy.

I'm also assuming you telephoned the police about this.

Perhaps you could even write into one of those magazines and earn yourself £250?

Or better yet, you could use this experience to grow as a person, perhaps tour the country to help other people.

OR

You could just move on. After all, you did get your apology and nobody (not even you I'll bet) is perfect.

DozyDuck · 14/08/2012 15:51

Op you didn't ask if it was ok to talk like that in a customer facing job, you asked of you ABU for expecting more than just an apology, which you are.

danteV · 14/08/2012 15:52

If you read the posts most agree it was wrong to say but that yabu to expect more than an apology, especially since you don't know what you want.

DozyDuck · 14/08/2012 15:54

I haven't actually seen one post that says its ok for him to talk to OP using bad language Dante you're right.

All I've seen is people saying that it was a slip of the tongue. Not him being aggressive etc. therefore an apology is sufficient.

JennerOSity · 14/08/2012 15:56

I swear occasionally, more often than I should, am currently trying to get out of the habit as I have sworn in front of my DS which I don't want to do (he is still young enough to have not noticed though - so I have time to make the change). I wouldn't ever swear at my son, but I don't think a swear word needs to be directed at someone for it to be unacceptable really.

If the op was AIBU to think you shouldn't swear in front of kids and laugh if the parent objects I expect OP would be getting many YANBU

As akaEmma said it is the, what more than an apology can you get which is clouding the issue.

DozyDuck · 14/08/2012 15:57

But that's what op is asking Jen. She isn't asking if it's ok to swear in front of kids, she's asking if she is unreasonable to expect more than an apology

CaseyShraeger · 14/08/2012 15:59

If you want to know whether posters think it's OK to talk like that, then ask that question. You asked whether you were being unreasonable to want more than an apology from the company concerned (a completely different question) and most people said yes, YABU, an apology should be enough under the circumstances.

bobbledunk · 14/08/2012 15:59

It's far worse trying to get someone fired for using a word you choose to be offended by than it is to say a word that is some people consider offensive. You got an apology, why on earth would you want to add another poor sod to the dole queue and condemn him to a life of poverty? That's callous, you should be more worried about your children picking that up than hearing 'cunt'. It's a word.

danteV · 14/08/2012 16:02

I think its quite funny when people post in aibu, twist what people say and then say the only people who have given a reasonable response are the people who agree.
If you are so sure yanbu, why post?
Also do you not feel like apologising for your comments about what level my parenting is? is that irony?
Seems you are not perfect after all OP. Which is fine, no one is. But often those that think they are perfect are heading for a fall.

NovackNGood · 14/08/2012 16:02

You see if you decide to mix with the general public you need to accept that the patois of the youth may not be exactly as you expect and that if you want to ensure you avoid it, I suggest the next time you go to time for a mobile telephone try Peter Jones on Sloane Square or if your really must mix with the hoi polloi stick to Kensington High Street.

JennerOSity · 14/08/2012 16:03

Dozy yes - my post was in response to OP last post - what Dante said last but more waffly :)

I think that the thread got off on the wrong foot because OP was really asking AIBU as much about the swearing than the apology as such. Because OP is being affronted people are seemingly defending him, but in reality they just don't see what more than an apology you can get.

Kayano · 14/08/2012 16:03

Nobody said it was on to talk like that

They said it was a slip and you have had your apology HmmConfused

danteV · 14/08/2012 16:05

No has defended him using the word. They have said it was probably a slip and a mistake of which he was embarrassed.
The company apologised, the OP wants more. That is where she is bu.

Original poster
bongobaby · 14/08/2012 16:06

missing the point that he did not apologise himself at all. Yes I got a sorry but it took myself to ring customer service call centre and tell them this had happened. It has nothing to do with being perfect but everything to do with how to conduct yourself in a public role and infront of children.
£250 very handy and i,m sure the sales guy will appreciate it when I give it to him to pay for his lessons in customer service.

OP posts:
tethersphotofinish · 14/08/2012 16:06

" slip of the tongue in a public service role is bang out of order especially infront of a child."

DozyDuck · 14/08/2012 16:07

Oh ok Jenner then I'm sorry Grin

People aren't defending his slip of the tongue, it was a mistake he shouldn't have made, but was a mistake not something done TO someone as such.

If the man had sworn at op or her child then I think she would need more than an apology.

Because it was a slip of the tongue an apology is plenty. Smile

OP you were definitely being unreasonable in what you said to danteV though. I think the least she deserves is an apology Smile

JennerOSity · 14/08/2012 16:08

YANBU to think he should have apologised himself at the time instead of laughing.

DozyDuck · 14/08/2012 16:09

YANBU to expect him to apologise.

YABU to expect more than an apology from the company.

YABU not to apologise to danteV for that very offensive comment

HTH

LadyBeagleEyes · 14/08/2012 16:10

When you phoned to complain did you say the word cunt?