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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want toys and bears from the flea market

82 replies

Svrider · 13/08/2012 21:41

My DM keeps giving my 3dc toys and bears from the flea Market (ie second hand)
She gets something every week
I really appreciate the thought, but hate the idea of second hand stuff
My oldest dd had now told mil who also thinks this isn't on
Id be happy with £1 shop items, crayons or even nothing at all, rather than other people's rubbish
Aibu

OP posts:
BedHeadTigi · 14/08/2012 00:31

I have had my fair share of second hand toys and stuff when i was younger. Bikes, doll houses, cindy dolls etc, at the time i didn't even realise but did wonder why the tyres on the bikes looked a bit worn, and why there was a rip on the paper covering at the back of the dolls house. In hindsight i realise it was all second hand stuff!

NCForNow · 14/08/2012 00:36

Flea Markets are not the same as charity shops...I can't believe some people have never heard of them! They're just small market places where all the stalls have second hand stuff. There was a weird one where I used to live in Camberwell.

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 14/08/2012 00:39

who hasn't heard of them?

I've just never heard of them IN ENGLAND. Car boot sales are the closest I've found

I'ld love to go to one but never come across one (cause when I worked in a charity shop they sent stuff I thought was really nice/vintage/interesting to the rag man and the old biddies only put out the tat which they though was bootiful Hmm)

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 14/08/2012 00:40

anyway charity shops don't launder their stuff either y'know, they just iron it, they iron dirty clothes, so either way you have to wash it before using it!

TheQueenOfDiamonds · 14/08/2012 00:45

Yabu, ungrateful and stuck up tbh.

NCForNow · 14/08/2012 00:46

I have never heard of them anywhere BUT England LackingNameChange

There were a few in South London only a few streets apart...one was tiny and only on one day a week...and I remember one in Camberwell too.

mathanxiety · 14/08/2012 01:05

YANBU.
What is making your mum do this I wonder?

Second hand stuffed animals are gross.

mathanxiety · 14/08/2012 01:07

I buy a lot second hand - clothes and books and furniture - I'm no snob; but none of the places I buy from will accept stuffed animals or used toys.

BertieBotts · 14/08/2012 01:08

They exist all over Europe and North America too, I think.

I didn't know there were any in the UK - interesting to hear they're around!

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 14/08/2012 01:12

Yes north america is where I know them from, not here

lots of charity shops don't sell baby gros either.. not UR to buy one from a nearly new though is it?

stuffed animals aren't big sellers I'ld imagine, that'ld be why some don't take em

Leena49 · 14/08/2012 05:41

Sounds like she is a sensible woman. I don't understand why people spend the money they do on new plastic rubbish. it's usually those that can afford it the least that like to have 'all new'.
Reading between the lines it sounds like there is a battle of grandparents
'my oldest dd has told mil who thinks this isn't on'

Mibby · 14/08/2012 05:56

I much prefer stuffed toys, far easier to wash at 60 and peg on the line than spend an hour washing a bargain sack full of mega bloks :) Either way it far cheaper and more environmentally friendly than new stuff. Less packging to throw out too

Original poster
Svrider · 14/08/2012 07:17

Thanks all
I have to say I think upsetting DM would just be unfair
I foresee a massive clear out, once they are at school
Hope scope shop has enough room!

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 14/08/2012 07:24

I agree with Leena49 and would say that the eldest saying 'it isn't on' is picking up attitudes from OP.
Just wash.

LoopyLoopsOlympicHoops · 14/08/2012 07:32

Vile obsessive snobbery.

Snog · 14/08/2012 07:33

I wouldn't have soft toys but would welcome anything else.

YouOldSlag · 14/08/2012 08:13

Wash and tumble dry soft toys- as good as new. I got La La the Teletubby for 50p and it was as good as new from the washing machine. Hard stuff can be soaked in Milton for a bit.

You should thank your DM, as it really is the thought that counts, and quietly "retire" any junk back to a charity shop when the dust has settled.

Don't let your DD say it "isn't on".

Sometimes the generation before us are conditioned to make do and mend (Post War and all that) and not be as wasteful as us lot, and TBH, it's a good attitude as today's society is uber consumerist these days.

MardyArsedMidlander · 14/08/2012 08:54

And I wouldn'thave thought someone living in a 'drug den' would have the time and organisational skills to take a bag of stuff to Oxfam... Confused

Scarredbutnotbroken · 14/08/2012 10:50

This is one of those 1st world issues.....I was thinking one or two generations back most people wouldn't give 2nd hand a second thought - we are v lucky to be able to buy new the majority of the time. I do think a new only policy is a bit snobby but I was also wondering of its more a case of people who don't have to worry about money not bring bothered about 2nd hand. Perhaps if I'd had a period where 2nd hand was my only option I would feel v differently about it.

This isn't one of them but there are other areas of my kids lives I need to have complete autonomy on for various reasons not all of them rational. If the op feels undermined by the toy buying then she is nbu and I sympathise.

SoupDragon · 14/08/2012 11:21

Oh bog off with your "first world issues" bollocks.

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 14/08/2012 11:24

"This is one of those 1st world issues...."
mums net is 99% ABOUT 1st world issues, having an issue with these posts existing IS a first world issue Hmm
I have first world issues, you have first world issues, so fucking what. Most stupid phrase ever invented!

HipHopSkipJumpomous · 14/08/2012 11:29

I didn't realise people who live in nice/posh houses don't have germs! How very special for them.

OP I think you've either an unsufferable snob, or have some major OCD issues.

But it does sound as though your Mum could do with a little self editing skills. Ask her not to buy broken stuff. There will be plenty of intact/properly functioning toys to choose from at the flea market/car boot.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 14/08/2012 11:33

YANBU about toys that are broken, missing parts, are seriously grotty or can't be washed. These are no good to anyone and should go to the tip. A gentle, "Thanks, Mum, but this toy is really no good to us because of xxx." would be fine in that situation.

YAB a bit U about toys that are clean and work as intended. If you don't want them then a thankyou and a trip to a charity shop are appropriate.

If you really want to scale down the present buying then give your DM something specific to look for.

Flobbadobs · 14/08/2012 11:34

If there are pieces missing or the toy isn't working properly YANBU, MIL bought DD a lovely jigsaw puzzle from the charity shop and when she opened it half the pieces were missing :(
Having said that anything else YABU. You can get some excellent things from these types of places which will wash or wipe down easily enough. You're being a bit precious.

OwlLady · 14/08/2012 11:35

you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth