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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want toys and bears from the flea market

82 replies

Svrider · 13/08/2012 21:41

My DM keeps giving my 3dc toys and bears from the flea Market (ie second hand)
She gets something every week
I really appreciate the thought, but hate the idea of second hand stuff
My oldest dd had now told mil who also thinks this isn't on
Id be happy with £1 shop items, crayons or even nothing at all, rather than other people's rubbish
Aibu

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 13/08/2012 22:34

Snob.

usualsuspect · 13/08/2012 22:35

^ that

treedelivery · 13/08/2012 22:37

If you think because something is new it is clean, you are deluded.

Factories are filthy, full of machines and dust and grime. Add to that the shops. I worked in a store and things were just coated in dirt in the store room. Clothes bears and anything fabric are sprayed before shipping to ensure dirt doesn't cling, otherwise the merchandise would be filthy.

At least something second hand will have had all those chemicals either washed or worn off.

They are also treated with insecticides if coming from overseas

MrsKwazii · 13/08/2012 22:38

Would you buy things from Ebay? Bet a lot of that comes from flea markets ....

5madthings · 13/08/2012 22:40

yabu, just put them in the washing machine and if you want to kill bugts you can put toys in the freezer and that kills stuff as well, infact its recomended for those with allergies apparently.

my kids love to be given a couple of quid to spend in a charity shop or car boot, and then when they get bored with the toy i can pass them onto a nother charity shop as i do with lots of their toys, we have a good clear out a couple of times a year and htey quite like choosing which to keep and which can go to a new home etc.

ThreadWatcher · 13/08/2012 22:44

Some secondhand stuff is absolute rubbish I agree.

But a great deal is fabulous stuff.

A huge percentage of my belongings are from charity shops. My dc birthday and christmas presents are frequently from charity shops - I save a fortune and my dc are happy because they end up with more gifts!

Foolish to reject something just because it isnt brand new.

Imnothome · 13/08/2012 22:46

YANBU mil likes to buy stuff from flea markets etc. We have had to ask her to stop buying 2nd hand stuff.

I feel the same as you re 2ND hand things.

We told MIL we had no room for anymore toys or clothes.

MIL has now started trying to get baby stuff from flea markets/ charity shops. DP is going to tell her we want to buy our own stuff.

I'm far from a snob, I just don't want my children having second hand stuff.

Scarredbutnotbroken · 13/08/2012 22:50

Think it depends on the condition of the toy whether yabu or not. Dm and I buy dd 2nd hand toys all the time. I take dd especially to a childrens hospice shop and she happily selects an item which usually costs me about 45p (it's an old fashioned charity shop not like oxfam). She thinks it's quite thrilling! However, these toys ate checked and labelled as complete.

If your mum is buying toys which are incomplete, broken etc then yanbu. If you just don't fancy 2nd hand yabu and maybe a bit snobby.

Tbf I always like the 2nd hand toys my dm buys for dd but she does buy her some shocking clothes in charity shops! The way I see it is that dd is hers too and she can dress in whatever she wants....really it's water off a ducks back for me - I make 99% of the decisions about dd anyway - I don't care if my mum makes her look daft now and then

happydotcom · 13/08/2012 22:56

My ds loves charity shop toys. When he gets bored with them, they go back. All for £2!!!!

treedelivery · 13/08/2012 22:56

We'll, I have a massive pure wool blanket from the white company £6 and a plan toys pirate ship £2-ish.

To name couple. Love charity shops!

Scarredbutnotbroken · 13/08/2012 22:57

Omg I'm jealous of the pirate ship! I mean errrrr dd might like that

Scarredbutnotbroken · 13/08/2012 23:02

God and how could I forget the now hundreds of books I/everyone buys dd from every kind of 2nd hand purveyor of Wibbly Pig and his mates

Dd and her pals have played for months with a 2nd hand you microwave who h only sometimes makes the right sounds. It was £3. Cost per play session must be minus something now it's had so much use!

Best thing about 2nd hand toys is that because they are cheap you can experiment with a type of toy they haven't seen before with less spending guilt.

irishchic · 13/08/2012 23:03

YANBU. This would annoy me simply because I have enough of my own junk to contend with and don't need anyone else's thank all the same!

princelypurpleparrot · 13/08/2012 23:05

My DM buys shed loads of toys from her local charity shops and she has bought some fabulous stuff. She (as she says herself) only buys quality stuff that can be wiped / washed, and always cleans it thoroughly before she gives it to DS.

She has picked up so many great Thomas and friends stuff, lovely little wooden toys, jigsaws, teddies, and books. DS is completely spoilt!

I've also bought fair few clothes from the charity shop for the DC's. And I send a lot of stuff to the charity shop.

As long as the stuff is in one piece and can be properly cleaned, then the only thing stopping people from liking it is snobbery (sorry).

And who would prefer a bit of crap from the charity shop to a second hand Plan Toy pirate ship?!

Socknickingpixie · 13/08/2012 23:06

yabu and snobbish unless the item is ragged or unsuitable.

second hand stuff means less rubbish and not as much going to landfill because stuff that is in decent usable condition gets passed/sold on and not thrown away.
it also gives children a very basic understanding of reusing/recycling as well as when they are old enough to understand money a basic grasp of value.

so many people are now growing up in a compleatly disposable world with a im allright jack so i dont care attitude teaching children that passing things on and using what you can helps combat this even if it is only by a small ammount.

soft toys can be washed and then frozen if you are really fretting. hard toys can be washed in milton or antibac detergent.

i just remembered as a kid before birthdays or christmas we were allways told to sort out toys and clothes we no longer needed to make room for our pressies. i used to really enjoy bringing the things down and sorting out what could go to the local hospital (they had rules about what they would take for the childrens ward) and what could go to the refuge. at christmas my mum would get a huge box of selection boxes and we would wrap them so any kids in the refuge and hospital had sweets to unwrap.and the toys were used in the shared playroom,we would never have been allowed to give anything that should have been thrown. i used to love the thought that my precious toys wernt going in the bin and another child would love them like i did.
(i was very little and thought the toys came to life at night)

princelypurpleparrot · 13/08/2012 23:08

Sorry that should have said "a bit of crap from the pound shop..." obviously

LurkingAndLearningLovesCats · 13/08/2012 23:13

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 13/08/2012 23:39

"I'm far from a snob, I just don't want my children having second hand stuff."
well, I kinda am a snob, which is why I'ld much prefer my children to have second hand than new sweat shop tat

happybubblebrain · 13/08/2012 23:50

I like second-hand stuff more than new stuff. It's great that things are being recycled. And I would rather give my money to a hard-up family or charity than a millionaire toy company director.

Plus, all those who say 'you don't know where it's been' are just daft. Where do you think it's been? It's been in a kid's bedroom, maybe played with a bit and then passed on. Stop worrying about germs people, they're not after you.

BedHeadTigi · 14/08/2012 00:05

I totally agree with Tartymuffin its the not knowing where its come from. Would you buy second hand goods if you knew it came from a drug den?

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 14/08/2012 00:08

do you really think that kids living in drug houses get a lot of toys ?

anyway it could come from my most glam relative's child who always looks well presented and been diahorreaed and puked and peed all over several times. But I have a washing machine and napisan if in doubt

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 14/08/2012 00:14

and where do you think your NEW toys came from? do you think your foreign mass producing sweat shops are sterile?

BedHeadTigi · 14/08/2012 00:16

I was talking about second hand goods in general that you can buy, and the drug den reference was an exaggeration to get you thinking if you would still buy it or not.

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 14/08/2012 00:18

yes I would, napisan and hot wash don't just get germs from "naice" houses out, it works just the same on germs from any house!

I live in an area which unfortunately does have a lot of drug houses and buy second hand

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 14/08/2012 00:22

Do you think the kids that handle make the cheap new stuff on the other side of the world are in better circumstances than kids in poverty in the UK then?

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