Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go apeshit about pictures of me on the internet!!!

77 replies

WelshCat · 13/08/2012 19:09

Jesus fucking christ.

I just went on Facebook to delete all the old messages from my inbox on there (because it has apparently saved them from the beginning of time) and I came across one I sent to my abusive ex when he tried to 'friend' me on there a few years ago.

So, being an idiot I thought I would have a quick look at his profile, and there I found a picture of ME in his bed, 19 years old, wearing a very skimpy playboy bunny outfit (which he bought me and made me wear btw). I am not naked, and my boobs are not out. But still, on Facebook???? It was added about 3 years after we split up, and a few people have commented on it appalled that he put it up there because its not his current mrs. I however am appalled that its been on there for 3 years and I didn't know! I'm mortified!

Save your shit about not allowing people to take pictures of you in situations like this, because I was 19, he was 36, and I ended up living in a hostel for abused women after dating him for 6 months. So its not like I did it fully by choice.

So, WIBU to send him a message asking him not very politely to take it down, or should I just try to forget about it???

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 13/08/2012 22:04

So you say

But really I think the Human Rights act is way OTT for woman in a bunnygirl outfit...

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 13/08/2012 22:05

Its an interesting point though, has anyone tried to sue FB or twitter over a posted picture of themselves?

Boondoggle · 13/08/2012 22:06

It's not about the human rights argument being good enough to actually run in court (of course! Who apart from Naomi Campbell/Max Moseley and their ilk pursue that sort of action?!) - it's about raising an argument in correspondence that is sufficiently indicative to FB that it would be more trouble for them to leave the photo up than remove it.

Serenitysutton · 13/08/2012 22:08

The point is FB arent going to let themselves be taken to court for breaching human rights because it potentially opens the floodgates and is certainly bad publicity. So they'll remove it. It's just being smart, no one knows exactly what they will or won't do but if you're the person at FB opening that email and all you have to do to make that person to away is delete some goons photo wouldn't you? It's hardly a big deal.

MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler · 13/08/2012 22:11

There is a website you can report to. I just cannot remember where it is. The police give it out, so contact them!! Sorry, I am a bit rubbish!

Boondoggle · 13/08/2012 22:11

Exactly, Serenitysutton.

Most cases are resolved after only a letter or two, for exactly that reason.

Serenitysutton · 13/08/2012 22:12

Boondoggle- x posted! You said it far better anyway

WorraLiberty · 13/08/2012 22:12

But it wouldn't get to court and they know that.

There are something like 600 million Facebook accounts out there

That's why they have rules about what is/what isn't allowed and a photo of a 19yr old in a bunny girl outfit most certainly is.

Particularly when it's been posted by the owner of the photo.

Serenitysutton · 13/08/2012 22:16

I don't understand what you're so frustrated about, you can't possibly know what they will and wont do.

Boondoggle · 13/08/2012 22:16

No, Worra, they do not know that, that is the point. Recently there was a case where a university student pursued a series of injunctions to have photographs of this nature (i.e. not porno, but embarrassing and wld have seriously affected her career prospects if left on the web) removed from various sites which they had appeared on after her ex posted them on one. This was an expensive legal action funded by the girl's parents. She was successful in all cases, meaning that the defendant website hosts had to pay her legal costs. As nothing further has been heard since the injunctions were granted, one assumes the main action was settled by all the defendants rather than risk a trial. The claim was brought under her Article 8 rights.

Sorry, but you are not very well informed on this topic.

50ShadesOfShit · 13/08/2012 22:16

I know, I know, anecdote doesn't equal data, BUT you have experiences on here of others who have reported and then successfully had photos removed so why not try?
If its unsuccessful, I'd be inclined to leave it rather than try to communicate with your ex, but that's up to you.

WorraLiberty · 13/08/2012 22:20

I'm not saying don't try...I've already said it's worth the OP contacting FB and asking them.

But I just feel some of these posts are getting a bit silly...not to mention possibly giving the OP false hope.

The guy hasn't broken any facebook rules

So all she can hope for is that FB take pity on her...however they're unlikely to do that if she starts giving silly threats about Human Rights acts and the like.

Boondoggle · 13/08/2012 22:23

I don't think you can understand how seriously all social media platforms take human rights issues of exactly this nature. It is no "silly threat", it is one of the principle legal concerns of Facebook and Twitter. Do you not read the news? Has the whole super injunction thing completely passed you by?

Boondoggle · 13/08/2012 22:24

Again: wretched autocorrect. *principal legal concerns"

WorraLiberty · 13/08/2012 22:29

For a fucking bunny girl outfit??? Hmm

Ok I've posted 3 question marks in a row...a bug bear of mine that probably means I need to bow out of this convo sharpish Grin

OP good luck...I do hope they remove it for you.

GhostShip · 13/08/2012 22:32

It doesn't matter what shes wearing. Its a photo OF HER.

Original poster
WelshCat · 13/08/2012 22:41

I have emailed Facebook and given my reasons for wanting the photo to be taken down. I have not mentioned human rights etc but if they say no I might.

I would just like to point out exact outfit in the picture isn't my main problem. Its the fact that its clearly a 'bedroom' photo that someone would not want shared, and anyone who viewed it can see this.

OP posts:
PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 13/08/2012 22:55

Good luck welshcat. Do update us.

BonzoDooDah · 13/08/2012 23:04

Good luck!

And Boondoggle - some super points made.

BonzoDooDah · 13/08/2012 23:06

Oh and FB seem to randomly delete photos of people breastfeeding with nothing at all showing because they have been reported as "offensive" by stupid sad bastards - So get a friend to report it as "offensive" and see if that doesn't get it removed as quickly.

LordOfThe5Rings · 13/08/2012 23:09

Wow, some people on here get very personal.

I hope they do take it down.

If not, try reporting his profile for abuse.

If his profile is taken down, so will his photos [I believe].

LordOfThe5Rings · 13/08/2012 23:10

If you PM me the link I will report it as offensive for you.

and send death threats hopefully a stranger with no connection doing so would help.

I wouldn't seriously give him death threats though, I'm not that immature no matter how much sick bastards like this deserve it.

solidgoldbrass · 13/08/2012 23:14

It would be a very VERY bad idea to claim that you were under 18 when the pic was taken and basically accuse your XP of creating and distributing child porn. That's slander and is illegal.

sancerreity · 13/08/2012 23:18

I can't believe some posters are suggesting she report him on the grounds the girl in his bed is underage!! they do women no favours at all!

herethereandeverywhere · 14/08/2012 08:33

Boondoggle: you make very clear and sensible points. The Human Rights Act is a piece of legislation which can be relied upon like any other.

I did chuckle to myself imagining a court case where Facebook's QC stands up and quotes Worra in response to the action: "Human Right's Act? Nope. lol". How could a judge fail to find in favour? Hmm

Swipe left for the next trending thread