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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who is being U, me or ds1, cant decide which is worse?

59 replies

tittytittyhanghang · 12/08/2012 15:40

This is semi light hearted :)

Me having to share room with dc2 (20 months) or sticking him in with dc1 (12).

Ds1 doesn't one to share room with ds2. For a start he has lots of things in his room which ds1 makes a bee line for (think pc/xbox/tv) and it would be a nightmare to keep ds1 away from and they'd probably get broken at some point.

Ds2 also is still having his daytime nap and obviously goes to bed earlier than

OP posts:

Original poster

tittytittyhanghang · 12/08/2012 15:44

aaagh pressed enter too early!

so bedtimes and naptimes would also be a nightmare.

We would also have to buy ds2 a high sleeper or bunk beds, which ds2 isn't keen on either.

I would like some privacy back (but it would have to come at the cost of ds1's privacy so i guess that is u)

There is no room in my bedroom with ds1's cot and its driving me insane.

Thats about the only reasons i have. looks like ds1 is winning this round

OP posts:

honeytea · 12/08/2012 15:59

DC1 is a child so should do what you say! sharing a room with a sibling is not the end of the world.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 12/08/2012 16:00

I had no4 son in my room until he was almost five. It wasn't ideal but we had to reorganise the entire house to sort everyone out. DD needed her own room so she has the boxroom, and my 18, 7 and 5 yr olds now share. Fortunately my pfb (and his fiancee who lived here for 6 months too) have got their own place now

Inneedofbrandy · 12/08/2012 16:01

I think your eldest has a right not have his stuff wrecked by little one that he never asked for. Are you prepared to re buy broken xbox ect?

BonkeyHasGOLDMollocks · 12/08/2012 16:02

Your house your rules.

There are ways round things for your boys to share if you really want some space back.

I think a child free area is essential for parents to stay sane!

Original poster

tittytittyhanghang · 12/08/2012 16:02

i dont know, i had to share a room with my dsis when i was little (8 year gap) and i remember the frustration and tears it caused. Ive shared with my dbro (14 month gap) and it was much more fun. I think its the large age gap more than anything.

OP posts:

RevoltingChildren · 12/08/2012 16:03

I think the age gap is far too big. As a 12 year old I would have been mightily puddled off if asked to share with a toddler.

Inneedofbrandy · 12/08/2012 16:04

Yup think you going to have to suck it up and deal with the cot. or put toddler in a cupboard

Original poster

tittytittyhanghang · 12/08/2012 16:04

OP posts:

stoatie · 12/08/2012 16:07

My eldest (DD1) was 11 and DS was 7 when DD2 was born. We didn't know gender before she was born and schildren knew that one would have to share (from about 6 months onwards) in the larger bedroom and other would have the smaller boxroom.

So DDs have shared since then and it has worked out ok - yes DD2 did get into DD1s makeup etc but DD1 soon learned not to leave stuff around (well not in bedroom anyway). It has not been a problem (maybe I see it like that because I shared a room wirth my elder sister for 16 years) although ironically DD1 (now 20) is just about to move out to go to uni just as we finally have money to build an extension to create the extra bedroom

hels71 · 12/08/2012 16:10

I had to share with both my sisters. One is 4 years younger and one 12 years younger. I had to put up with it. Move your two children in together. Provide the older one with somewhere to look away/put out of reach things the younger can not have.

Birdsgottafly · 12/08/2012 16:13

How is your 13 year old going to manage coursework, when he has to share with a 3 year old?

I think that it shouldn't be 'your house your rules' if this is going to impact on your other child, when the only reason to change is because it is getting on your nerves.

I would rather a teen be able to leave everything in their bedroom, than have it all over the house to keep it safe and accessable.

Inneedofbrandy · 12/08/2012 16:20

Coursework and homework is a very valid point.

NoComet · 12/08/2012 16:24

By DDs firmly state any third DC either sleeps with DH and I or in the bath.

Bathroom is tiny, they do mean in the bath

sausageandpickle · 12/08/2012 16:28

is your room bigger - (and you don't mention a dh/dp) could you swap and put the two boys in the bigger room and you have the smaller one? perhaps you could get ds1 some lockable storage or a wall mounting for tv/x-box so ds 2 can't get to it?

sausageandpickle · 12/08/2012 16:30

or even could they have a room each and you have a sofa-bed, as you are the one who will be up latest (for a few years, then ds1 and you could swap...)

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 12/08/2012 16:31

My DS is 12.6 yo and I wouldn't expect him to share with a toddler TBH.

We have 3 bedrooms, but the 3rd room is a box-room. DD (DC2) used this room while she had a toddler bed. (No room for wardrobe+ toybox+ single bed)
She has the back bedroom, and he has the downstairs front room. We have a family sitting room and kitchen/diner .

Eventually, we'll get the loft converted ans will reclaim our front room.

Just in time for DS to leave home

NagooingForGold · 12/08/2012 16:36

Whose room is bigger?

I am sorry but you should suck it up. Grown ups hardly do anything in their bedrooms and children do everything in theirs. You should share your room. If that means you need the bigger room that's fine, but your elder one should have space of his own.

NagooingForGold · 12/08/2012 16:39

And do you want ds1 playing Xbox in the front room all evening because he can't go up as his brother is in bed?

blueglue · 12/08/2012 16:41

Keep dc2 in with you. Is there any way to rearrange your room, perhaps get dc2 a bed that is longer than the cot but more slimline?

Krumbum · 12/08/2012 16:43

In with you. Not really fair on ds1 to have to look after a small child.
Maybe it will be better when ds2 is older but they will just be waking eachother up atm!

Krumbum · 12/08/2012 16:47

Bonkey. It's not ds1 fault his mum decided to have another kid after such a long gap. If a child free space is so important for an adult (although I'd say the same for a teen!) then don't have kids you don't have space for. It's not fair to penalise ds1 for you choices.

Original poster

tittytittyhanghang · 12/08/2012 16:51

only 2 bedrooms and the way the market is no hope of moving. Both bedrooms roughly the same size. Unfortunately mines has a double bed in it and fitted bedroom furniture so no way of rearranging it. The thought of putting ds2 in a bed scares the shit out of me, at least at the moment he's still in a cot! dp is also present and would not be keen to relocate to the sittingroom! i guess its grin and bear it!

OP posts:

JennerOSity · 12/08/2012 16:51

Can you get a high bed / bunk type thing. So toddler in your room but you have more space?

I know it would be unusual for an adult but unsual isn't so bad and would solve the whole dilemma. You get your space and ds1 gets to keep his stuff intact, naptimes are not a problem...

confusedpixie · 12/08/2012 16:55

The age gap seems a bit too big for them to share tbh. Your teen will need some space to study and chill out in over the coming few years and your toddler will need space to play, putting them in together would be disastrous! Not really sure of the solution though!

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