to be really upset that DH wants me to stop taking anti-ds when they won't be 'free'

[ginkle]

Long story short, I have MH issues (undiagnosed but GP prescribed me citalopram a few months ago and I do think it's taking the edge off). Have also tackled with various stints in therapy over the years.

DH has very negative opinion of MH issues after being in an abusive relationship in his early 20s with a woman who used her MH issues as an excuse to abuse him/blame him for everything.

I went through a total breakdown 3 years ago and had to dig myself out, eventually did swearing to myself I'd not do that again and sought help/pills. However still 'ashamed' and haven't insisted DH uses his work insurance to get me the psych appt I was given a referral for months ago. Own fault etc.

Part of not chasing it up was we are moving to the USA and I wasn't sure how a UK diagnosis (if any), would 'stand' or if I had time to get a diagnosis in the timeframe. Decided would approach MH issues when in the US. Decided to make an appointment with my GP to discuss whether she can give me extra pills (not sure if this is possible), to cover the adjustment period. Mentioned this to DH.

He said that as medications are very expensive in the US he had hoped I'd stop taking the anti-ds as 'we're not sure if they're making a difference anyway' (true). Then a load of guilt-tripping about money etc.

I said 'but what about the side-effects, I can't just stop!', and he said 'yeah but that's only a few days versus thousands of dollars for pills you might not even need'.

I have been up for hours brooding over it. I feel really shocked and... horrified really. Feel really diminished and shit. I CAN insist on seeing a psych, getting medication and whatever else in the USA but I really would rather be facing it all with his support. AIBU to think he is a wanker?

Just to add a positive note -- my own experience has been that it is indeed much easier to access mental health services in the US than the UK (provided you have good insurance, which you do). This may vary depending on where you are going, but in my city for example there were dozens of psychiatrists/therapists I could go to right away, which were reimbursed almost fully for quite some months.

Some insurance plans will even cover alternative treatments which may be helpful/relaxing, it's worth checking out.

I think you are quite right to be upset btw. But good luck with the move, I hope everything turns out okay.

His knowledge on this subject is poor,when it needs to be strong.
Print out some info for him to read,take him with you to the GPs etc etc.Get him to read this thread if necessary.
Now is not the time for him to hide behind what has happened to him in the past.It has clouded his judgement.

You will get better care in the USA,mental health has no "stigma" attached here,everyone has "issues" you will get seen by a psychiatrist/therapist really quickly and given help and support from day 1

Depending on your insurance you may not even have to see your primary care doctor and can book straight with the specialist. Again depending on your insurance your medication may be free or a $3-$5 co payment. Even if its not and you end up paying more there are soooo many ways to save money on medication over here. Some drug stores have a plan you pay so much a year for ( like $20 ) and you get your medication at a huge discount. There is also the option of 3 month refills, basically you send your prescription off to where ever your insurance company tells you and they send you 3 months worth but it only costs you what 1 month would in the pharmacy.

You will be diagnosed PDQ once you get here, we dont do waiting to see a doctor here.

Good luck

No guarantees oldtrout it really does depend on your cover. In my 20 years I've never had $3-$5 prescriptions and in some areas seeing a specialist can take a long time especially if you want a decent one.
When we lived in the city with crap insurance a regular Doctor visit meant a 2-3 week wait for a regular appointment, worse than my UK GP had been.

I've only read the OP, but I would like to ask you ginkle - do you feel that your husband's attitude may be adding to your MH issue? He sounds totally unsupportive, and that can't help.

CaliforniaLeaving Really?. Ive been here is Mass for 25 years, Ive always paid $3-$5 for prescriptions,even with the totally crappy insurance my job offers now.They were free last year though. Ive had a couple of plans where they were free. I have never heard of waiting anymore than like a week for a specialist visit ( well except 1 dermatologist in my town where you do wait months).I can get same day visits at my doctors office and my children's whenever I want or need, plus they are open weekends too. Maybe its just Mass,they are a big health insurance state and some of the best hospitals in the world are in this state ( so Ive been told) so theres lots of competition, plus health insurance is mandatory for everyone

You lucky trout (LOL that sounds funny) when we were paying for our own ins I had a $500 a year deductible for prescriptions, my pills were nearly $200 a month Now we have golden coverage from Dh union job. $10 prescriptions or $5 for generic.
OP I had another thought, if he'd begrudge paying a smallish co pay for pills each month maybe US isn't the place you think, everything thing has a charge and a fee, very little if anything is free, in comparison to UK. I even have to take the check book when it's time for the kids to collect class schedules for the new year. I spend a fortune of school supplies from Kindergarten onwards, before high school we buy every piece of paper and pencil, note books, etc. This week I took in hand sanitizer, table wipes, tissues, crayons. Most parents will bring stuff off the list, last year I took in printer ink, printer paper, tissues, wipes and in a month she'll need it all again. High school I wrote checks for up to $400 to cover classes and supplies each year for the Ds's.