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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry at DD's Headmaster

56 replies

HappyOrchid · 09/08/2012 20:51

who referred to her as being disadvantaged at being an only child.

He also said she get her own way too often. WTF! She always shares with others. Right now she's gone with a neighbour and their kids to walk their dog.

Yes, she likes her own way, but don't we all. She gets her own way with things that I don't stress about.

Want to wear jeans or leggings - its her choice
Wnats to stay up and watch TV on a school night - No
Wants to eat pudding (fruit) before main course - fine so long as its eaten I don't care if she mixes it all together
Won't brush her teeth? - no choice she'll do them

Evidently I am the Worlds Worst Parent, oh well.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 09/08/2012 20:52

How did the topic even come up?!

catgirl2012 · 09/08/2012 20:53

Context?

WorraLiberty · 09/08/2012 20:54

Age?

Original poster
HappyOrchid · 09/08/2012 21:02

DD is 8.

He put this is the final letter acknowledging that we are moving her to a different school due to the problems she's had this year in Year 3.

His paragraph started 'I like X, but if I may be so bold I can't help feeling...

Something that they knew about - she felt picked on by the teacher. She went from bright and happy to not wanting to do anything for fear of getting it wrong. My parents were concerned she was depressed and when DD thought she would have the same teacher next year (mixed Y3/4) she said she couldn't take it any more.

New school in September, new start and DD is counting down the days.

OP posts:
catgirl2012 · 09/08/2012 21:07

Perhaps he is just trying to shift any blame for the problems she has had

She's moving to a different school

Ignore it

catgirl2012 · 09/08/2012 21:08

Although..............

lovebunny · 09/08/2012 21:09

well within your rights to be cross, i'd say.
he's just trying to make out it's your fault that she's having to change schools. but in primary school, with people being so close together all the time, there's no way to escape a pupil or teacher who makes you feel bad - if it can't be sorted out easily, the best thing to do is to move. good luck to your dd for september.

FallenCaryatid · 09/08/2012 21:13
Grin Exactly catgirl, you only have one side of the story here. I know many only children who are very good at compromise, taking turns and accepting rules in school that apply to all. And others that really aren't. OP, good luck with the new school, and I hope that they form a more favourable opinion of your daughter.
catgirl2012 · 09/08/2012 21:14
Grin
workshy · 09/08/2012 21:19

same thing happened to my friend

she changed her DD's school because she had got 'lost' in yr 1, despite many conversations with the school my friend felt that she wasn't getting any attention or making progress so wanted to move her to a smaller school

head teacher wrote that he felt she was projecting issues in the family's unstable homelife onto the school environment

the unstable family was mum & stepdad of 5 years were having a baby -wtf???

Salmotrutta · 09/08/2012 21:39

I agree with FallenCaryatid - I also hope the new school forms a more favourable impression.

Dozer · 09/08/2012 21:58

"but if I may be so bold" must surely rank up there with "with all due respect" and "I don't mean to be funny, but".......

Don't like the sound of him!

Hope the move works out well for DD.

tethersphotofinish · 09/08/2012 22:03

Even if your child is the devil incarnate, the correct and only response from the head is "I wish you all the best in the future".

Nothing else.

catgirl2012 · 09/08/2012 22:04

But perhaps he

JumpingThroughHoops · 09/08/2012 22:05

Even if your child is the devil incarnate, the correct and only response from the head is "I wish you all the best in the future".

yes, they usually verbally tell whats what written is so wishy washy it cant come back to bite them on the arse.

WorraLiberty · 09/08/2012 22:08
catgirl2012 · 09/08/2012 22:17

:) It's because I've had wine...........

WorraLiberty · 09/08/2012 22:18

No it's because you have £3.50 and a Marsbar in the pocket.... Grin

But I agree anyway...it's possible

FallenCaryatid · 09/08/2012 22:19

I had a child in my class who was extremely good at contributing orally to discussions in an original and lively way.
I counted the number of times this pupil interrupted, called out and arsed around within an hour, and then we worked together on reducing the number of delightful and amusing disruptions from around twice a minute to the average for a child that age.
Took a term, but we made it.
That was a very loved only child as well. The report was a model of diplomacy.

catgirl2012 · 09/08/2012 22:23

Just possible.... :)

Cherriesarelovely · 09/08/2012 22:23

I know what you mean OP. My 10 year old DD is an only child. She is a normal, happy, busy little girl. To be fair no one has said a great deal about her being an only but at the school where I work it is frequently used as a reason why children can't compromise/share/socialise easily even though MANY children find these things difficult, from all family backgrounds. I hope your DD has a super time at her new school, it is horrible when they are unhappy in class.

Salmotrutta · 09/08/2012 22:23
tethersphotofinish · 09/08/2012 22:28

"Popular amongst peers"

Gets the others into trouble.

ilovesooty · 09/08/2012 22:34

My favourite report from a colleague (years ago) was:

"Norman is trying" Grin

Salmotrutta · 09/08/2012 22:34

tethers - it's probably different in secondary but I know several Heads who don't pull their punches when it comes to telling parents exactly how their children are behaving.

I appreciate that if a child is moving school it may seem best to just wave good-bye and stay schtum - but it must really grate on a Head having to bite their tongue.

I actually believe a bit of plain speaking can save heartache down the line.