To think my neighbour is an absolute dick?

[SpottedGurnard]

I have recently moved into a new flat. After 2 long days of packing and moving I was down by the front door when a new neighbour walked up to me and without even introducing himself said "can you read?!"

My heinous crime was that the removal men had propped the front door open as they were in and out constantly and it is a gated compund so no randomers could walk in. He "introduced" himself as a member of the committee and a permanent resident as opposed to me who is merely renting and obviously less of a person because of it.

This block of flats has a front door that cannot be held open because it damages it. This is crazy to me as a door only really has 2 functions to open and close and it doesn't do one properly but oh well. If this man has politely explained the reasons to me I would have apologised and got on with ny day but he continued to be very rude to me and my removal boys (early 20s).

Skip forward to today I have seen him around since and he has always stopped what he is doing to watch and made me feel uncomfortable.

I had been to the docs this morn and have been signed off from work for stress. As I pulled into the drive he stopped what he was doing and turned and stared as I parked- took 2 attempts so it was a long stare!

As I walked past he said "good morning" to which I walked past. I am not going to engage in pleasantries with someone who made me feel so shit when I moved in. He said it again and I continued. To which he said "theres no need to be so bloody rude!"

This man is old enough to be my granddad and I know mine would never swear at a young lady. I turned and said that it was him who was the rude one and said that he wouldn't have spoken to my partner the way he had spoken to me (6ft 4 rugby playing dp).

I walked off but came back feeling shit .AIBU to think he is a dick? Or am I rude?

Kill the other residents with kindness, offer to do the 90 yr old's shopping occasionally, put out her bins...the Victor Meldrew neighbour will look a grump.

I can happily ignore my rude neighbour and still award myself the title of moral victor, owing to the fact that he is intrinsically, deep down into his soul, an utter donkey.

I would have said good morning of course. People can be rude of they please but I won't sink to their level. I think you lost the moral upper hand by sinking to his level.

Hey, leave the donkeys out of this! :0)) Donkeys, IMHO, don't care whether you prop doors open or say good morning. I'd love to live in a street or building full of donkeys.

I meant to add: because of your nickname!

I loved his books.

Salmotrutta, yes I'm a fan of Gavin Maxwell and the Ring of Bright Water series. Do I detect a fellow fan?

Hahahaha X-post!

Yes - I devoured them as a teenager! Haven't read them in years but now I may just go back and read them again!

Poor Midge

I've read them a few times over the years - still love them as much. If you've not read his biography, then it's well worth a read. I think it was written by Douglas ??? - it's a huge book, but gives you the background on Gavin Maxwell's life (as a biography probably should ;0) ), and is very interesting. I'll check on the author and let you know if you like? Nice to meet a fellow fan.

Indeed :0((( I can never watch the film as I would just cry and embarass myself. Otters are amazing!

I think he was rude, but just being a jobsworth, probably relishing being able to live up to his committee role.

But saying that I think it would be better to draw a line under it all,

It will make living there much more pleasant ir you dont have this bad atmosphere with neighbours.

I once went to look at a flat, as soon as we were out of the car the neighbour leapt out of his front door and shouted at us for using the wrong space. We didn't even bother to open the front door.

Your neighbour was rude the first time. However you were rude the next time. You should have said hello and continued on your way.

Sorry but YABU- it wasn't this mans fault that you had spend 2 days packing and moving, but it was your fault that you chose to ignore the sign and prop the door open, damaging it.

As a flat owner where i live, i have had to pay my share of a call out fee to fix the buzzer system twice because people who couldn't be bothered to read did this and it damaged the entry system.

I don't understand why you didn't apologise for damaging the comunal property, and I do understand why he was upset and therefore didn't introduce himself very well.

@fizzyfish how do you know that they damaged the door?

what does the fact that you are a flat owner matter?

I know the door was damaged because the op said:

"This block of flats has a front door that cannot be held open because it damages it. This is crazy to me as a door only really has 2 functions to open and close and it doesn't do one properly but oh well. If this man has politely explained the reasons to me I would have apologised"

And it matters i am an owner as it is the owners where i live who have to pay for repairs to communal property, not tenants, even if it has been caused by tenants.

@fizzyfish you can't prove she damaged it. Plus how do you know tenents don't pya? I have lived in blocks of flats with communal areas and paid building maintenance fees through my rent. It was in the name of the landlady, but our rent included these costs.

Sadly, in my opinion, wherever you get a Management Committee in charge of running a block of flats or housing estate, you find that power goes to the heads of the people running it.

We live on a road where there is a management committee responsible for maintenance of the communal grassy areas. One of the committee members marches around like a tin-pot dictator, peering through front windows, where he can, allowing his dog to pee on front lawns and flower pots, challenging residents about any perceived contravention. He hates children playing in the road, hates us because we have children , loves to shout at anyone about anything. He led his dog over to our front lawn to shit on it a few weeks ago (he did clear it up) but the dog is never on a lead.

Sadly he is friends with the bullying arsehole who lives next door to us. Nightmare and no chance of moving house either. You have my sympathy, Gurnard.

fizzy I've been an owner in a block of flats. The cost of repairing the door comes out of the service charge which always mysteriously comes to the same amount, or slightly more, each year no matter how careful everyone's been.

Even when you're a shared freeholder, which I've also been, you have to keep an eye on the service charge and be prepared to let anything but the managing agent's more outrageous creativity go for the sake of your sanity.

Also, fizzy the flat will be owned by a fellow leaseholder or freeholder who's doing buy-to-let and will be paying the service charge so should keep an eye on it. If you don't think she's letting to good tenants, take it up with her.

smells shouldn't that be cnut?

If he's old enough to be your grandad, hopefully someone will come to cart him off to a home soon and you'll be rid of the miserable old fart Oh, and yanbu!