to think that if one of your mates...

[GhostShip]

Donned a cap and a pair of track suit bottoms and tried talk all manly like, you'd realise?

I'm just watching the programme The Girl Who Became 3 Boys and I'm gobsmacked.

Basically Gemma, Jessica and Alice are friends.

Gemma creates a fake profile on Facebook and becomes Luke. Gemma, cleverly disguised as Luke meets up with Alice and they have a relationship.

Gemma then creates a new profile, this becomes Aaron. Aaron meets up with Jessica and they have kisses and cuddles etc.
But Jessica doesn't like Aaron enough, so Lo and behold Cona is born!
gemma creates another profile as this Cona, and meets up with Jessica, apparently Jessica doesn't realise
Neither Jessica or Alice realise at any point that Gemma, Cona, Aaron and Luke are the same!!! They had even had sex!!

www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/tv-and-radio-reviews/9459791/The-Girl-Who-Became-Three-Boys-Channel-4-review.html

I haven't explained it too well but here's the story and I recommended anyone watches it on 4od

But seriously, is it that unreasonable for me to think I wouldn't be tricked this easily?? Even when I was their age

It happened in my DD's school, one of the girls started seeing a girl who dressed as a boy.

My Dd told the girl and it caused no end of trouble for her, because this 'boy' had 'seen' a few of the girls out of the school.

When we saw this advertised, at first we thought it was about this 'boy'.

What difference does it make if the girl was fooled, it is no reflection on her that she is naive.

Im watching it now. How did she change her face?

Have you seen the programme? You'll see what I mean about Jessica. There was something not completely right about what she was saying. And how she went about everything.

The girl who remained anonymous is the one I feel mostly sorry for. She had the biggest betrayal. And finding the dildo too :(

And I'm not saying naivity is a bad thing. But these girls need to get a clue. Getting into relationships with 'boys' they've never met. Dangerous.

She didn't Krumbum, that's the worrying thing

If I put on a hat and a hoodie on my friends wouldn't think I was now a man. I don't understand this! It's horrible that they were sexually assaulted. Even if they thought it was a boy then how did they not see that all the boys had the same face.

birdsgattafly, Did the girl at your DD's school pass herself off as a boy to start with?
Or did she create an alter ego and pass herself off as 2 different people?

When Jess was telling her side of the story she just seemed too matter of fact about the whole thing.
It really doesn't make any sense to me either. The fact that Jess was Duped twice has totally baffled me.
Surely you would recognise one of your best friends if they dressed like a boy and put a hat on, yeah they might look slightly different but you would still know that it was them...surely??

Didn't she say that one of the boys had exactly the same teeth and mouth as Gemma and when questioned the "boy" stormed off. How would you not put 2 +2 together

I can maybe undertand about the dildo, if you had never had sex, then you wouldn't know what a penis feels like. Both girls said it was in the dark under the covers and both said it hurt.

I think that documentry left so many unanswered questions as i am still sitting here none the wiser!

She created an alter ego and had a fb account etc.

She didn't go to the school, my DD found out about 'him' being a girl, because she had friends out of the area and they had seenn her go out dressed as a male.

There was rumours going around that 'the name she was using' was a girl and so she name changed.

My DD thought that she was doing what was right by telling the girl in her school that 'he' was a she.

Tbf, there are lads that all look very similar, she has obviously dismissed any fears/doubts that the she had.

I really wanted to watch this and I missed it.

Is it on i-player or being repeated at all?

Birdsgottafly. So this was a girl meeting girls as a boy that she didn't know as a girl? That is much more plausible.
I still find it hard to believe no one would question it though. My friend used to dress as a boy when we were at school. Shes tall and thin with quite an androgynous face. She had her cut short and would bind her chest, wear a hat and boys clothes but still strangers would question it and not quite believe she was male.

Commachameleon, you can watch it on 4od.

Think it will be on 4od. Or at least I hope so. My dc have not stopped mentioning it since they watched it.

Also I don't think it's unreasonable to wonder where were the parents, where were other friends. How could not one person notice.

Just to continue what Birds says, haven't had any incidents of physical impersonation or at least any that have been discovered yet but have definitely had issues in the school with online or bum impersonations. It's really bizarre and I think it's definitely linked with rise of the Internet and social media, in that respect it's very much like trolling.

birdsgottafly, That is slightly different. Even though she duped the girls in question, they only ever knew her as a boy. Not that it makes it any better, but even then you say your DD found out as the girls friends had seen her dressed like a boy....is exactly my point.

The girls friends "did" recognise her even though she was dressed as a boy, well you would wouldn't you?
Even when Jess realised that it wasn't Conner that night she thought it was Alice's boyfriend Aaron!!

Not once did she recognise, Luke, Conner or Aaron as Gemma.

It is a complete madness. Even at 10 or 11 I had friends, who despite having no evidence, I recognised as bullshitters or exaggerators, I think to know 3 people well 4 even who tell these evident lies and not ever doubt anything they say astounds me.

Why are these girls sitting waiting for someone to come who is nearly there for 7 hours.

Ok maybe you don't know how a penis feels but at 15 to think its normal to have sex wearing full clothes and a hat, pleaseeeee. Also posting on facebook that she 'loves his big willy' you would think she had actually seen it.

He said his parents said the maid must say he doesn't live there for security reason. Wtf, even my 6 year old would question this.

I think the answer is quite simple. Not only are the girls more naïve than most, its simply a "it wouldn't happen to me" type thing.

Gemma is not overly feminine. If you had no reason to believe she was a girl you wouldn't question it. The not recognising its a friend/aquaintance is just a step up from that. No one meets a guy and thinks "I better be on the look out incase its my friend pretending to be a boy". The whole set up seems so unlikely, it just wouldn't cross your mind initially.

The believing the excuses is naivety and simple human nature. People are very good at overlooking things that would compromise their happiness. I'm sure most of us have done it to some (obviously lesser) extent - made the odd excuse for OH being a tit, ignored some silly tale etc.

I know men who do nothing but lie and are never pulled up on it. One man I know told his girlfriend hed been hit by a car once to get out of a date! She actually thought he was in hospital, when really he was out drinking with his mates. He did that sort of thing regularly.

One of my friends fiance lies consantly. I could stand there and point out every single time he lies. Yet she never questions it - So she either believes him, or she just ignores the utterly unbelievable stories he comes out with - how many women do you know or read about who have tried to tell a friend what her partner is doing, only for the friend to defend her partner - even in the face of indisputable evidence - and fall out with, even harass and attack the friend who is showing her this information?

There have been studies into the sorts of things humans will ignore, and its really quite shocking, so while this story is odd, in that not many people do what Gemma did, its not unbelievable that the girls fell for it.

I get all of that except if a bloke had the identical face of someone you had known for years you'd recognise them! I'm sure of it. It's just Gemma in a hat!

People, particularly people who are not very bright and don't have very much else in their lives are always willing to believe someone who is at least vaguely plausible and offers them some hope of a change. Lots of allegedly mentally competent adults give money to mediums and homeopaths and other similar con artists, after all.

Well I imagine that the girls pictured "him" to have short hair, which makes a lot of difference. And make up - there are girls I wouldn't recognise without make up. And again, just naivity and overlooking things.

Perhaps there is more though. That we never will truly know. Perhaps one of the girls did know. Although why Gemma would have kept quiet about that I don't know.

I'm just speculating on the information given really, and it just seems like an unfortunate combination of very simple things.

Mediums are a very good comparisson solidgold.
Lots of people have readings done, where the medium lists various things... "Woman here.. Name of "insert common name here".." And will continue, often listing things that make no sense to the person having the reading. Eventually, the medium will hit on something "a man with the initial M" YES OMGEEE THAT'S MY UNCLE MARK! HOW DID YOU KNOW! And then go off to tell all their friends how accurate the medium was. Conveniently forgetting the first 15 lines of nonsense they trotted out.

YY, SGB. I think Queen's points explain the whole thing - people do ignore things that seem too outlandish to be true, likewise things that conflict with our desired view of the world. Since teenage girls (and their parents) are rarely on the lookout for evidence that a boyfriend is really their girl pal in disguise, they'd just not "see" it. This is the whole reason why we advise people to listen to their instincts/gut feeling/spider sense about relationships: the conscious blocks out unwanted information so it may only be registered unconsciously.

I'm terrible at recognising people out of context. It's something of a disability, and I don't think people with normal social recognition even realise it. If I saw a client somewhere 'ordinary' like in the supermarket, I'd often blank them despite knowing them really well. It's ever so embarrassing. But, coupled with Queen's points, I really can see how it would happen.

I'm far more interested to find out what goes on in Gemma's mind. Doesn't look as if anybody knows, though!

The holocaust has some good examples of what people will ignore too.
There were citizens who lived close to the camps, who have always claimed they did not know what was really going on.
Some say they had no idea whatsoever, some say they thought it was just a prison.

It seems impossible to us now that you would not notice 10s of thousands of people dying - hear the gunfire in those pits they used, not notice anything that would raise suspicion.

But huge numbers of people still today say they did nnot realise - some people still don't believe it, though they are the minority.

And most of it really is because, well, why would people be comitting genocide in your back garden? That just doesn't happen, does it? Its impossible to imagine. So they blocked it out and carried on as normal.

Even the prisoners inside the camps kept up some form of normality. I have a very interesting book that has one mans account of the camps class system - in a fucking death camp! The prisoners formed a class system. Ignoring the fact that they were all there, they had all been captured and taken there etc. (I can't remember who were what). Humans are interesting.

The overwhelming thing for me would be that none of the 'boys' ever spoke. They all communicated by writing texts and either sending them to the girls or showing them the phone with the text on it. Even when they were in the same room.

Now, ladies, when THAT happens you start thinking 'this is a bit bloody odd, actually.'

It's the lack of speech, it's the lack of evidence about any of them. Why if you found out your boyfriend had lied about where he lived and made other outlandish claims (don't think the bieber tickets ever materialised) would you not question other things that were said. Also wtf is wrong with them and their Internet safety, I think they were naive, gullible and stupid.

Boredom probably played a part as well as believing things as long as they keep you happy but my god I do hope my dcs are never so bored with life that they could fall for something this ridiculous.

Gemma was diagnosed with ASD, ADHD and border line learning difficulties. Is there any sympathy for her or is this inexcusable or.... I don't know just wondering if that changes how anyone thinks about it.

I think it was said above that Gemma would make a really interesting case study, but I don't have sympathy for anyone who inserts a dildo into another girl who is saying, "Stop it, stop it."

Apparently Gemma would walk completely differently as each person. She was clever with the clothes, too, so that one boy just wouldn't wear the same sort of clothes that the other boy would wear.

Some of my son's friends I've only seen with hats on and not talking. There have been two different boys who have knocked on the door without their hats on and I haven't known who they are. When someone never looks at you and has his hat pulled down to his nose, it doesn't make you want to look at them. I doubt I could have picked out these boys in a line up, although if I was driving past them I'd recognise them by their walk.

The OP says that girls shouldn't get into relationships with boys they hadn't met. Of course they'd met them. Yes, they'd met them online first, but these were physical relationships.

I think Jessica had some massive self esteem issues going on. These 'boys' spoke to her on MSN, she was very quick to strike up a relationship because they complimented her. When I was 16 I went out with a lad (who admittedly did speak to me), he treated me like absolute crap. Would say I'll see you at 8 and not turn up at all but I'd wait there like a dick for hours. He'd come out with all sorts of bullshit which now looking back is obviously crap but at the time i just wanted him to like me.

I think it's unfair to disbelieve the sexual assault based on it being a dildo. If you are 16 and never had a sexual experience how do you know what it's suppose to be like. How do you know what it feels like or that most people take all their clothes off.

How long had they known Gemma before she started to dress as a boy?