To expect DP to at least tell me that he's changed his mind about coming over on his birthday?

[NeedAPCOSMiracle]

DP was 40 yesterday.

I got dressed up nicely and got a few things ready for him. We last spoke at 6 and he said he was coming.

Then he went missing the whole night. No calls, no texts, still nothing today.

I know it's unlikely something has happened to him. So he must have gone missing for a reason, or he's lost the phone or left it somewhere or something.

Still, I really don't know what to do. I'm just so worried, I'm ttc, on clomid, meant to have just ovulated, we were discussing baby names and where we were moving to yesterday.

I just can't see why he would do that, he could at least just tell me why he couldn't come, he knew I was waiting all night, if something was wrong with the phone he could just come over.

This is not unreasonable, is it?

Oh no, it's ok, you're still my favourite ranter. I just like your upfronted....ness

OP. I've just seen your other thread on this same subject in Relationships. That was a bit more 'worried' - this one conveyed nothing of the sort. It's not the emotions that weren't conveyed, it's the actual words!

With regards to your shitbag of a bf, this is something I would not forgive. He knew you were preparing things for him at yours. He had a better offer, and not just that, didn't even bother contacting you.

I've been pretty fucking drunk in my time, but NEVER have I not stayed in contact with people that I know care about me.

How do you know he isn't married?

What if he was having life saving surgery and his phone battery was flat?

Do you think the Hospital are going to piss about finding a suitable charger and then going through a phone that's possibly pin locked anyway, to find his contacts?

If this was truly out of character, surely you would be phoning around the police stations and hospitals yourself?

Perhaps you need to be more honest with yourself regarding his behaviour and your expectations of it.

Ive seen the thread in relationships now. You are getting the same advice here as you are there. Surely not everyone can be wrong?

Don't have a baby with the wrong man just because you think this is your only chance to be a mum.

40yo man gets so pissed he doesn't think to let his loved one who is expecting him know where he is. Super.

Can't say I'd be trying for a baby with this man-child.

I'm sorry you are getting upset, OP but you did pose the question in the first place and what you've got, in return, are honest answers. Because I think there's unanimous agreement that YANBU. It's not unreasonable to invite you to question his commitment though, surely? Because from what you have told us, your boyfriend is showing all the signs of someone who is fairly unbothered about your feelings and this has to be a red flag.

NOBODY ever gets so pissed they can't make a phone call. My dad used to say 'If men don't phone- it's because they don't want to. Not because they've broken their index finger'

I agree with that, Mardy. Women make so many excuses but in the end, if a bloke wants to contact you, he will. If he wants to come round, he will. Ergo if he doesn't, he doesn't want to.

OP, please reconsider having a child with this flaky man. It's not enough that you want a child; you will be responsible for giving that child a good life.

He treats you like shit and yet you want to ave a baby with him!!?? Why? Please don't say it is because you love him and he loves you....