to think my neighbour is invading my part of the garden???

[AllOtherNicknamesWereTaken]

Hi fellow mumsnetters, I think IANBU, but you be the judge.

I rented my flat a couple of years ago. It has a garden, which the estate agent said was private, but then it turned out it was shared (they lied!). There's just another flat that has access to this garden. She (my neighbour) has got a patio just for her too. At the beginning I didn't mind her using the garden, because she was just planting a few flowers here and there, but in the last months she's become more and more agressive and territorial.

• She has planted some vegs in the part that I consider "mine". She asked me if I minded after she had started, abd to be polite, I said yes.

• She has moved the stones that separate her bit of garden from mine, so that she has almost 1/3 more of space now. I didn't realize until a friend told me and I looked at pictures from a year ago.

• Last Sunday I was having lunch in the garden with my DD and my sister and she came and started doing heavy gardening in front of us... I felt invaded so we ended up inside the house to have some privacy.

AIBU? I need ideas on how to deal with this because I'm thinking too much about it. At the moment we have a polite relationship (say hi and bye).

Sorry for any mispellings, typing on the phone.

Could you let her crop whatever veggies she's planted, and get the ground back after?

Thoughasoldboots, do you mean 50/50 of the total outside space, including her patio? I'm more concerned about the fact she wants to plant right in front of me so I'd have to see her and be seen... it's more about privacy.

OldLady, of course I would let her crop her veggies! But to be honest, I was looking at the soil today and I doubt she's ever planted anything (or maybe they haven't come up yet?). The soil weas very dry, it didn't look like there was anything but bad plants.

Ah, sorry, I thought she might have been bei g a bit pfveggies.

Please don't do anything until the landlord/ letting agent folk get back in touch. Don't offer her anything yet - you've set things in motion with the letting agent and it is a waste of everyone's time if you then come to your own agreement. Sounds like they might come up with something favourable to you anyway.

I dont understand why you think you should have 2/3rds? (not saying you shouldn't ...but can you explain more clearly why?

goodygumdrops, it's because she's got a patio for herself. So what I think would be fair for me is: either 50% of the total outside space (counting her patio) or 2/3 of the garden.

I think I'd approach it with her by saying along the lines of you can see she works hard on the garden, and your dd (how old is she?) will be wanting to run around with a ball/bike/have a sandpit/swings/garden herself/whatever you want and you'd hate to see her labours spoilt. So wouldn't it be better if you kept to your own half to stop that.

That way you don't sound as if you're just grabbing it for the sake of it.

It doesn't matter what's fair - it matters what is legal. The landlord and letting agent need to sort it out, and if it's not in their paperwork, they need to find out from the land registry.

I'd get on the phone (or even better, go in) to the agent's office on Mon morning, and ask them to sort it there and then, while you wait.

You and your neighbour should not be negotiating this.

Explain to your neighbour that when you were let the flat you were told you had exclusive use of the garden, this way you do not seem like you are bing horrible as you thought the whole garden was yours.

There has obviously been a cock up somewhere, and letting agent/landlord need to get it sorted.

It sounds as if the best solution to maintain you and your neighbours privacy would be a physical barrier to clearly define each others "territory"

Have just moved and am in 1 of 2 flats in a building, our back garden is shared and we also have a really pretty big front garden (for our own use). The back garden is split 50/50 this is the same with every other house I have seen like this. We have a fence seperating them though but all the others near here don't.

YANBU though because you were told it was a private garden, if you are told you only have half you should ask about a rent reduction as you have less land than you were originally told.

I think you're getting ahead of yourself, talking about "letting her" plant veggies in "your space". You don't know what is your space, if any. Shared does not have to mean a portion each, it can mean shared as in communal, nobody has a section at all.

You were told it was private, she was told it wasn't. Wait until you find out the actual position before talking about what is yours and what you will do with it.

what happened in the end, please?

Yes, please . I too would like to know

Fascinating. I didn't realise this started last summer. I hope the OP got her fair share of garden!

What happened in the end?