to be uncomfortable with the fact that my DD was invited on a sleepover, and the parent that I know went out for the evening?

[Chrishassix]

And left partner in charge, whom I have only met briefly twice?

And didn't mention it?

AIBU to be a tad upset?

Yes you did you said DD eg darling daughter

Oh behave.

I think OP means the gender of the partner.

Go look over a fence or something.

True, usualsuspect. My older DD is at sec school and has been in this position, it's just that fact that in this instance I wasn't consulted, or told after the event. A little bit of courtesy would be nice? With my older DD I can have the option to say yes or no to and unknown person being in charge. In this case that decision wasn;t offered to me - that what I'm not keen on.

I did mean the gender of the adult.

Most of the replies haven't mentioned gender, either.

I would not like it at all.

I did.

YANBU

My 9 year old (nearly 10 year old) daughter has a friend over for a sleepover tonight. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind to go out. If I had plans for tonight, I'd have invited her friend to stay a different night.

10 year olds may not be babies, but they are still very young, and are probably only just starting to have sleepovers with friends (rather than sleeping over at grandma's etc).

I think children at that age need the security of having a trusted adult in the house that they can go if they have any little questions or worries. It might not be their friend's actual parent, but it should be somebody that they know well.

I'm surprised that your friend didn't even mention in advance that she would be going out.

7 different posters assumed I was talking about DD being left with a, shock, male.

But its not some 'unknown' person off the street. Its an adult who presumably your friend is quite fond of and who she trusts to look after her own daughter.

If you think your friend is so flakey that she would leave her own child in the care of someone potentially dangerous then you shouldn't be agreeing to sleepovers at her house at all.

I assumed you were talking about a male partner.

But male or female whats the difference? You are alarmed about an 'unknown' person - but this person is trusted by your friend. Do you trust your friend?
What's the problem then? This adult presumably wasn't hovvering around the children all night. When my daughter has a sleepover, I don't see her for dust, just hear lots of muffled giggles from her bedroom.

Sorry OP - I'm failing to see the relevance re: gender. Are you trying to make a point?

Isn't it the same as a supply teacher. You don't know anything about them, not in the way you do with standard teachers, or that they are the ones who will be in charge that day. They are unknown and your dd is in their care for 6 hours plus.

Maybe it depends on your set up, am surprised to hear 10 year olds have only just started having sleepovers, most of mine have been having them since 4/5/6.

Well, I thought she meant the children were left with a man and I thought she must be worried that he will try and touch them because depressingly that seems to be a very common reaction about men left in charge of children.

I think it is a bit insulting to the friend to be so suspicious. The friend obviously thought nothing of it and didn't mention it. I don't think it would occur to me to say whether or not I would be in the house the whole time a sleepover was taking place. The important thing would be to ensure a competent adult was in charge.

Well were not on ours chairs looking over at you... You did not correct previous posters about being a male and now you are.

Agree with Ruby - my daughter is 7 and has had friends to sleep over since she was 5. I have had one wobble when someone cried and wanted to go home, called her mum and she came and picked her up. No massive parenting skills required there, just a quick phone call.

What are you really uncomfortable about?

That my DD was left on the care on an adult she didn't without me being given the decision to countenance it.

Just because she trusts her partner doesn't mean you should. does this person even havee children of their own? Id be pissed off

If that is what worries you, I have got some bad news about the next few years.

What bon earth does it matter if this other person has children or not? What special skills do you need to keep two 10 year old alive in a bedroom for one night? Check they have brushed their teeth and then leave them to it, unless you hear any screaming.

I do wonder how some of your children are going to cope with leaving home.
Or will you always be lurking behind them to check no unknown adults are on the vicinity?

That's a big leap to university loitering.

Where did I mither over whether this person had DC?