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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be livid with my DP for leaving our DD in the bath unattended?

75 replies

whoopwhoopbib · 07/08/2012 19:37

DD is 20 weeks old and whilst in the bath uses a frame with a towel cover on it as a support.

DP just shouted me from upstairs to ask for a flannel which I took to the bottom of the stairs for him to take from me. I asked him if he had left DD in the bath, not meaning it for one second thinking she would be in her room waiting for him, and he replied yes which I thought he meant in a jokey way because you just wouldn't do that.

He has just brought her downstairs and I asked him where she was whilst he was at the stairs and he said in the bath! I have just shouted at him because I cannot believe he thought this was ok, his response was to say nothing happened to her.

I now don't feel that I can trust him to give her a bath but he says I am over-reacting.

OP posts:
EleanorHandbasket · 07/08/2012 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

greenbananas · 07/08/2012 19:39

You're not overreacting. 20 weeks is way too young to be left in the bath.

AThingInYourLife · 07/08/2012 19:39

He's a total fucking moron.

HolyOlympicNamechangeBatman · 07/08/2012 19:40

I think it depends on the layout of your house, could he see her from where he was standing?

If he couldn't see her then YANBU.

KaFayOLay · 07/08/2012 19:40

He shot down stairs, fetched a flannel and shot back up again to dd left in sat up frame in the bath?...... or was it longer than that?

BombasticAghast · 07/08/2012 19:40

Can he see into the bath from the top of the stairs?

If so, still wouldn't do it myself but can see why he thought you were overreacting.

If not, no, you are not overreacting.

Moominsarescary · 07/08/2012 19:41

Bloody idiot

Evasmum12 · 07/08/2012 19:41

He shouldn't have left her, but surely you knew he was bathing her and should have taken the flannel up to him?

Original poster
whoopwhoopbib · 07/08/2012 19:42

No there is no way he could see her, she would have been behind a door and he was looking down the stairs.

I'm now feeding her but I want to cry.

OP posts:
Kayano · 07/08/2012 19:42

why didn't you take it up? just wondering if he was bathing her?

Iggly · 07/08/2012 19:43

YANBU

Doesn't matter that he only popped out for a second. That general complacent mindset becomes "oh I'll pop out for a bit" then you get distracted. Not worth the risk IMO.

FeakAndWeeble · 07/08/2012 19:43

Google all the times baby's have drowned because they've been left - however briefly - in the bath. This happened to a baby in our road when I was small and it absolutely haunts me. He has to understand that this isn't ok.

Original poster
whoopwhoopbib · 07/08/2012 19:43

Evasmum12 I didn't realise he had started the bath I thought he was still getting it ready.

She would have be laying on the support not sitting up.

OP posts:
cheaperthantherapy · 07/08/2012 19:43

I was in the bathroom with ds 18 weeks the other day, he is in a similar 'seat' in the bath, I turned around to help dd 2 for only 5-10 seconds if that - my ds had wiggled off his seat and was drowning. I was terrified. It only takes a second :( please tell your dh this. Thank god he was fine but tool a couple hours for him to feel better/cough up the water he swallowed - ill never again takey eyes off him in the bath. Lesson learned :(

EyesDoMoreThanSee · 07/08/2012 19:44

I don't leave my two year old in a bath without me, your husband is a twit

NatashaBee · 07/08/2012 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EyesDoMoreThanSee · 07/08/2012 19:46

oh and a few weeks ago she was pretending to blow bubbles into the water, slipped and went under, terrified herself and me. had I not been sitting right next to the bath I probably wouldu have picked her up quick enough

AmazingBouncingFerret · 07/08/2012 19:46

I'm the most relaxed parent about but fuck me that was a ridiculously dangerous thing to do.

greenwichgroove · 07/08/2012 19:48

Yanbu at all. It takes seconds.

But then my dd1 is in upper juniors and I still hover upstairs Blush but she does like to fill bath high then dunk underneath.

Lora1982 · 07/08/2012 19:51

praps you could of took the flannel to him?

autumnmum · 07/08/2012 19:52

YANBU. Can I make a suggestion? Get rid of the bath support and then he will never be able to do it again. The trouble with a lot of baby stuff is it makes you forget how vulnerable little ones are. The comment from Cheaperthantherapy above shows this clearly.

Original poster
whoopwhoopbib · 07/08/2012 19:52

I was on my way to take it up to him, I wouldn't have expected him to come to me for it, but as he was waiting on the stairs I didn't think she was already in the bath.

OP posts:
polkadotsrock · 07/08/2012 19:55

he made a silly mistake. show him this, or google a story or 2 but don't flame him and think you can never trust him to do anything again, he's learning too.

JustFabulous · 07/08/2012 20:01

Don't blame the OP for not taking the flannel to her DP. She was on her way to do so but bottom line is he should not have left the baby alone in the bath full stop.

"He's learning too" ? No one should have to learn - and the baby is 20 WEEKS OLD, not 2 days, - that you never ever ever leave a baby alone in the bath.

AThingInYourLife · 07/08/2012 20:03

It wouldn't have been OK even if he could see her.

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