to expect my fucking umbrella to be in the same place I left it?

[YouBloodyWolf]

I'm going to get soaked and I'm wearing linen, dammit!

YABU, I can only find mine on hot sunny days, unless you have a magic umbrella why should you be able to find it ? Try lost property you can usually pickup a nice one there. And if you say it had a Union Jack on they'll probably have about 20

I left mine in the doorway of the doctors surgery, when I came out it had gone. Found it in the chemist next door. Some cheeky begger had nicked it for the trip! I picked it up and eyed everyone suspiciously....