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AIBU?

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Original poster

Kids on back of big motorbikes ....???

167 replies

MrsEricBana · 06/08/2012 23:01

It is DH birthday today and for his "birthday treat" he is hiring a big motorbike for next weekend. He not ridden for 14 years but back then he did have a big bike for 2 years or so and rode it a lot with no mishaps.
So he wants to take ds (11) and dd (9) out on it next weekend and I am not at all happy about it.
The plan is that he picks it up and rides it for a couple of hours to get the hang of it then he takes them out, round the block at first the further afield, on country roads, if they are comfortable with it. The man at the (reputable) bike place who will hire it to him said not safe for dd as she cannot reach the footrests properly but ok for ds. Dh has some plan to reverse the footrests so she can reach them.
I am not at all happy about this and have tried to put my foot down re the dcs going on it but dh is just not having it. I am not keen for dh to do it either but obviously no leg to stand on there, it's up to him. I would be less worried if he was a regular rider now (and dd could reach the footrests).
WWYD, dh thinks I am far too risk averse generally?

OP posts:
StunningCunt · 06/08/2012 23:20

Sounds fab. I trust they will wear helmets?

Original poster
MrsEricBana · 06/08/2012 23:22

Yes, definitely to helmets. Do you think I'm being over cautious then? Motorbikes terrify me, safety wise.

OP posts:
PomBearWithAnOFRS · 06/08/2012 23:25

Can you trust them to hang on tight? no matter what happens? I once had a fairly nasty crash when a wasp got inside my helmet and crawled along the bottom of the visor. It took me two days to remember it, after I woke up in the hospital and to this day I can't remember anything else about that whole day.
With DCs I would worry that one of them might get flustered/over excited and let go.

Original poster
MrsEricBana · 06/08/2012 23:29

Poor you, that sounds very nasty.
Well no, definitely not in terms of hanging on and what's to stop them just falling off, especially dd who is a tiny little girl in my eyes, less so ds who at nearly 12 is pretty robust now.

OP posts:
Binkyridesagain · 06/08/2012 23:30

DH (a biker) has just said ge'd be fuckin stupid to do it, as your DH has not risen for a very lengthy period if time his instincts/reactions will not be honed to the extent they would be if he was a regular rider.

As a mother, who's 13 year old has rode pillion, there is no way I would let my son on the back of DHs bike if I DH hadn't riden for a number of Years.

pjmama · 06/08/2012 23:34

I have some terrific memories of going on the back of my dads bike when I was around 9. But my DH has one now and despite being the slowest most careful motorcyclist I've ever met, I'm not sure I'd be happy with him going any kind of distance or speed with our DS on the back. Around the block a couple of times at a steady pace maybe. It's the other idiots on the road that bother me.

Original poster
MrsEricBana · 06/08/2012 23:35

That is exactly what I think Binky, thanks. Dh is also keen cyclist, takes ds out and pushes him to the limit and ds has had a couple of nasty tumbles as a result and dd and I rarely go with them as dh just wants to whizz off at speed. Putting this in context of the motorbike thing, I think dh will want to make it fun for the dcs as he only has the bike for the weekend and so might push it along a country road and get into trouble.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsEricBana · 06/08/2012 23:37

Those pics made me laugh! Sadly he is not hiring a nice little pink number but something a bit more powerful.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsEricBana · 06/08/2012 23:39

Not sure what to do at all as if I totally put my foot down he will view it as something of greater significance and there will be big row. I was relieved when bike hire man said illegal for dd to go but dh seems to think he can get round that, anything's possible etc, which is admirable quality and everything but not in this case!

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EdithWeston · 06/08/2012 23:40

The law says that a passenger must wear a helmet and their feet must reach the footrests. It'll be legal for your DS, but not for DD especially as the shop owner advises against it.

Whether it's advisable is another thing. What gives me pause is the length of time since your DH has ridden. If the roads round you are very quiet, then a 'once round the block' at 30 wouldn't worry me. But not the rest. And in general, not a "treat" for one but not the other.

So YANBU.

Fecklessdizzy · 06/08/2012 23:40

Does the bike have monoshocks? Smaller kids can get their feet caught ... Friend of a friend's son nearly lost a leg.

If he's years out of practise I'd be Hmm about it too. DP is a Biker and has never taken either of ours on the back. He says he daren't. I'm not sorry.

TheQueenOfDiamonds · 06/08/2012 23:41

YABU.

As long as your DH is sensible I see no reason not to. My brother and I were taken on our parents motorbikes from similar ages to your sons. One of my favourite memories is of going the long way round to my mates in the next town on mums bike, she used to go that way so we could go round the country lanes.

Yanbu about DD though, he should absolutely not alter anything, if she's not big enough she's not big enough, end of story.

EdithWeston · 06/08/2012 23:43

BTW, my DH has a big bike. He's never taken any of the DCs on the back, not even a little round the block, though the DSes have asked. All he'll let them do is sit on it, on the stand, whilst he turns the engine over.

Binkyridesagain · 06/08/2012 23:43

You could compromise, he rides the bike for the weekend as much as he wants without DCs, gives him plenty if time to get a feel for it again, then when it's nearly time to hand it back he can then take DS out, only round the block though, I wouldn't agree with DD going out, it's possible any alterations could invalidate his insurance.

QuintessentialShadows · 06/08/2012 23:44

"I was relieved when bike hire man said illegal for dd to go but dh seems to think he can get round that, anything's possible etc,"

What a bloody stupid man.

Socknickingpixie · 06/08/2012 23:46

as a kid my whole family where bike mad both my dad and my brother have for as long as i can remember raced bikes (propper racing on tracks ect) they have allways ridden as have all my sisters i would have apsolulty no probs with my kids getting on the back of any of there bikes,but not a chance in hell would i let them get on the back with anybody who hadnt ridden for years and not a chance would i let them get on one that had been fiddled with (footpegs are the way they are in the place they are for a bloody good reason).

your dh has not ridden one for 14 years sorry but hes being a compleat dick so YANBU

Original poster
MrsEricBana · 06/08/2012 23:48

Thanks for all your input, this is making me feel very anxious about it all, especially where people have said they or dh who are very experienced, regular riders would never do it.
Bike hire place is on the main A4 in Bristol but I guess in principle he could ride the bike out to somewhere quiet and I could follow in car and ds at least could have a little go. I think he has visions of us sweeping from our house (not in Bristol but in middle of another town) out through Chew Valley etc - very sweeping but fast road.

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OldLadyKnowsNothing · 06/08/2012 23:52

I'm wondering what bike is so big a 9 yo can't reach the pillion pegs... Shock

I used to ride, took my DS2 to his first day at primary school pillion, so I'm not antibike.

But after 14 years off, no, no way, no how, would I take a pillion, especially inexperienced DC.

Original poster
MrsEricBana · 06/08/2012 23:54

Right, so what I need to do is say none of us will go on it, he can have all the time he needs to do what he wants to do and we will (by car) meet up with him somewhere on the Sunday so we can at least be a bit involved in the whole thing and see him on it.

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Original poster
MrsEricBana · 06/08/2012 23:54

OLKN it is some sort of Harley.

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 06/08/2012 23:55

Midlife crisis? A need to be "daddy cool"?

My dh rode a moped from age 15 till 18. He got a scooter 15 years ago, rode it for a year, and progressed to a Big Bike 14 years ago.

He has been riding it ever since, and is used to both riding pillion and having passengers. He would not take our 10 year old on the back because:

  1. He does not trust that he will be able to hold on, handle it, be worried.
  2. He cannot guarantee that he wont have an accident, because "shit happens", even when you least expect it, and most likely close to home, or because somebody does not see you and ram into you.
  3. He does not want the responsibility of doing something that can potentially have serious consequences.

Now, it must be said, my dh will often push the kids, when out cycling, or downhill skiing. But he draws the limit with his bike.

YOUR dh, who rode a motorbike for 2 years, 14 years ago, feels entitled to play God with his children s lives because it is his birthday, and you:

" I am not keen for dh to do it either but obviously no leg to stand on there, it's up to him."

Shit. I am glad I am not you, on so many levels. Sad

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 06/08/2012 23:56

I'm also a bit Hmm about the "country roads" stuff, I live rurally and am aware that too many folk think that just because the speed limit is 60mph, it's actually safe to travel that fast.

Two words; it's not.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 06/08/2012 23:57

Oh, fuck, and Harley's don't even corner properly!

QuintessentialShadows · 06/08/2012 23:59

I dont know how many times we nearly crashed into reindeer on quiet country roads.

Well, you wont have many reindeer in Britain, but I am sure there is wildlife spontaneously entering the road in front of you.