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Original poster

Kids on back of big motorbikes ....???

167 replies

MrsEricBana · 06/08/2012 23:01

It is DH birthday today and for his "birthday treat" he is hiring a big motorbike for next weekend. He not ridden for 14 years but back then he did have a big bike for 2 years or so and rode it a lot with no mishaps.
So he wants to take ds (11) and dd (9) out on it next weekend and I am not at all happy about it.
The plan is that he picks it up and rides it for a couple of hours to get the hang of it then he takes them out, round the block at first the further afield, on country roads, if they are comfortable with it. The man at the (reputable) bike place who will hire it to him said not safe for dd as she cannot reach the footrests properly but ok for ds. Dh has some plan to reverse the footrests so she can reach them.
I am not at all happy about this and have tried to put my foot down re the dcs going on it but dh is just not having it. I am not keen for dh to do it either but obviously no leg to stand on there, it's up to him. I would be less worried if he was a regular rider now (and dd could reach the footrests).
WWYD, dh thinks I am far too risk averse generally?

OP posts:
Naoko · 07/08/2012 14:51

No, no, no. If the big bike was his own and he was riding it often, then yes - but it isn't, those things are hard to handle, and he hasn't ridden in a decade.

I don't ride myself but my dad does, has done since he was old enough to be allowed a license. He took me out with him on trips (always with a helmet!) from a very young age, round the block at hardly more than walking speed at first and further afield and at greater speed (including motorways) as a teenager. I am not one of these people who are terrified of bikes and thinks adults shouldn't ride them never mind children, if I could afford to I'd really like a bike of my own. I loved riding with my dad as a child and think it was a perfectly reasonable thing to do - but I do not think your DH should do this.

StuckInTheFensAwayFromHome · 07/08/2012 14:52

ooh just found this - not too bad to get to Devon from Bristol?
The family day (further down the page) is not cheap - but sounds fun and even you could join in!
Maybe a treat for the future when all the furore about this birthday had died down?
www.wheeldontwo.co.uk/Junior_and_Family

thixotropic · 07/08/2012 15:14

Good point earlier about gear.

They will each need a correctly fitted helmet, protective jacket, trousers and gloves. And boots.

Can't see that been cost effective for a short trip to a and e

And I agree with the poster above, take him to a biker cafe or similar hangout, . I bet you not one hardened biker will agree it's a good idea.

It's a bloody terrible idea. There us a difference between nobly fighting our risk adverse culture and just being a fucking cock with other people's lives.

Original poster
MrsEricBana · 07/08/2012 15:21

Yes, he hasn't mntioned suitable kit for them to wear. The off road biking links look good - thanks.

OP posts:
cocolepew · 07/08/2012 15:34

His gung ho attitude alone is a diaster waiting to happen.

Does he have a bike license?

DH rides a bike to and from work everyday, and has rode for years and years, and he wouldn't take our DDs as pillion passengers.

Original poster
MrsEricBana · 07/08/2012 15:40

Re license, yes he definitely did all the relevant training and got the license back when he rode - say 95-97 - but nothing more up to date than that.
How old are your dds Coco?

OP posts:
cocolepew · 07/08/2012 23:24

11 and 14.

rockinhippy · 07/08/2012 23:29

My DH also a biker, as was I once upon a time thinks he would be nuts to do it having not ridden for so long , he also thinks the DCs are probably still too young to go out onto the roads, he wouldn't do it + has been riding most of his life.

whattocallmyself · 07/08/2012 23:32

Not in a million years - Dh rides daily and all over Europe and has done cornices 20 years.

He is sat next to me - born again bikers are the biggest casualties stats wise and there is no way this is acceptable - and this from a man who would rather lose his life than his bike (and that's true).

sancerreity · 07/08/2012 23:34

Would you let them ride in a car without a seat belt?

CrispyCod · 08/08/2012 00:22

YANBU

I would not be happy at all with this.

thixotropic · 09/08/2012 22:20

Please let us know if you do manage to dissuade the loony.

Pantah630 · 09/08/2012 22:44

A Bikers point of view for you :)

What bike did he ride for 2 years, 14 years ago? An enormous Harley will be hard to handle if he's not ridden one before, they are hideous honestly and not for the faint hearted, very heavy for slow manoeuvring but fine once rolling but it's a Harley and handling and braking not fantastic. On the plus side it'll probably have a back rest so a bit more secure in the pillion department if you don't have pillion grippers for the DC to hold on to. Personally I'd say yes to him riding them round a large, deserted car park but not on the road. Unless he's keeping the bike a week and riding everyday to get back used to it and both DC have a correct fitting helmet but no otherwise.

Both my boys have been pillion since they were 5/6 BUT we are Bikers, both ride daily and have done for many, many years. DS1 is old enough he now rides himself, which is another story for us overprotective mothers.

Best of luck OP, hopefully someone neutral talk to one of his sensible mates on the sly will talk some sense into him.

Original poster
MrsEricBana · 09/08/2012 23:35

Me again. Thanks for further points. He had another massive rant at me that evening (Tues) and said he was furious that I didn't trust him/his judgement. I said that in this case I didn't as he hasn't ridden for 14 years, is new to this bike and it is also the other road users I am worried about. He also hasn't planned what they will wear but I notice down in his study he has got out all his old biking gear and a helmet he had for adult pillions which I used when I went on it (twice) back in the day.

The current plan is that he will go to fetch the bike on his own on Sat am and then contact me later in the day and we can drive in the car to wherever and meet him (not necessarily with the intention of them going on it on that day). He says if he is unsure he is safe himself or in any way unsure about taking the dcs then he will return the bike / not take them. I have said he is not taking dd and that's that. If he is going to fetch the bike alone how will he get a helmet fitted for them??? Clearly he had not thought this through at all.
(Bike he rode was a Triumph Thunderbird).
Also, oh joy, it is due to be wet on Sunday.
I have decided that if he tries to do more than drive ds round a car park/small block on it (and even that is assuming ds has correct helmet) I will just put dcs in the car and drive straight home.

OP posts:
20weeksandcounting · 10/08/2012 08:30

Dh also took his kids (first marriage) from 5 - he won't be taking ours - that's how I feel and he respects my decision - I've been pillion myself since 17 - and I've seen too much and too Manu accidents that weren't the fault of the rider.

I have to be honest and say - I fully expect to lose Dh in a bike accident one day - I'd be lost without him but his bike is fully a part of who he is - he'd be a different person if he didn't have one. Very hard to ex

20weeksandcounting · 10/08/2012 08:34

Very hard to explain.

We had a friend who was a born again biker (returning) - he decided he could handle a powerful bike after over 10 years of not riding he bought a Hyabusa - he died on his first rideout, no other vehicle involved.

It's a lifestyle choice but it's not without it's risks - I can accept them because I lost my father in a car crash when young and I accept accidents happen - but I will not make those choices for My small children - for me it fits Into the category of unacceptable risk and is nothing to do with trusting or not trusting Dh - thankfully he can see my point of view.

I do not ride / pillion either since I had them - I don't know why - I just lost interest.

Enfyshedd · 10/08/2012 09:20

Just saw this thread and mentioned it to DP - a biker of 30+ years experience. Funnily enough, we were talking about pillion riding the other day as he wants to get a new bike and would prefer one that he would be able to take me out for short rides on (never been on a bike).

His comment on this thread after saying "Never. What a stupid twat." was "Out of practise and bad practise". And that was before I said OP's DD couldn't reach the footpegs.

Snorbs · 10/08/2012 09:32

If it really is an Ultra Glide then he needs to realise that they are incredibly heavy. An Ultra Glide is nearly twice as heavy as his old Thunderbird and a lot of that weight is carried high. Any bike that big and clumsy will require a lot of care to keep it upright at walking pace and below. It will take a lot more than an hour or two to get sufficiently used to a bike that big if he's not ridden for so long.

I'm not anti-bike by any means. I rode bikes for a lot longer than your DH did and if I wasn't a single parent I'd still be riding now. When my kids are old enough to fend for themselves I'll go back to riding. But after a 14 year break, you'd have to be an absolute fool to take a child on the back of such an unfamiliar bike after so little time to get used to it.

Original poster
MrsEricBana · 10/08/2012 09:32

I am feeling sick to the core about this as tomorrow is the day - all I can hope is that when it comes to it won't be appropriate for him to take ds on. If he feels it is appropriate I will have to take a stand, which won't end well. I have no qualms at all about putting my foot down re dd as there is no question that she is simply too small to go on it, but ds is technically big enough to fit on but of course that does not mean he should do it.
Thanks for your comments 20weeks, and very sorry for your experiences. I am petrified for dh too but under the circumstances that is the least of my worries.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsEricBana · 10/08/2012 09:34

Thanks Snorbs, I had feared as much.

OP posts:
Ahhhtetley · 10/08/2012 09:40

I spent many a happy Sunday afternoon on the back of my Dads bike, as soon as I was tall enough to reach the pedals, we were off.

Just make sure they wear decent clothes, boots, helmets, Jackets etc, no bare skin, then if they can hang on they will be fine.

I loved doing this, it was my favourite thing to do with my Dad, it was our special time Grin

I'd be scared mind you if my DH suggested taking our DD out when she's older, but I think that's just natural being a parent. As long as your DH isn't an idiot and takes it steady they will love it...

Snorbs · 10/08/2012 09:41

One other thing - crash helmets age. Exposure to UV rays, moisture, knocks and scrapes etc all affect the integrity of the plastic/fibreglass outer shell and the expanded polystyrene padding. As it gets older, plasticisers leach out of the shell so making the plastics more brittle and the polystyrene starts to crumble.

His old helmet is, what, pushing 20 years old by now? It's only fit for planting strawberries in.

Ahhhtetley · 10/08/2012 09:44

You shouldn't use a helmet if it's over 5 years old or it's been dropped.

FutureNannyOgg · 10/08/2012 09:48

No, absolutely not. I'm a biker, I used to ride every day, all weathers (then I had babies and had to get a car license). I would not, at my most confident, take a child out without full safety gear. Not just helmet, but leathers and boots, spine protection, armoured gloves. Even a low speed spill in everyday clothes can leave you with serious injuries (skin loss, or worse, I knew a guy who lost a buttock riding in jeans). I've been pinned under a bike I dropped paddling it into the garage because my boots were worn and soft nd didn't hold the bike off me.
Pillions are less able to anticipate an accident, so usually come off worse.

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 10/08/2012 09:50

PLEASE don't let your children do this. My DUncle was killed on his motorbike riding on country roads he knew well four months ago. He's left behind his wife, two kids and a granddaughter and spent his 49th birthday in the funeral home.

He was a very accomplished rider and had ridden all over Europe in the past couple of years. Your DH hasn't been on a bike for over a decade. Please please PLEASE do not let your children on the back of the bike. Would you forgive yourself, or your husband, if anything happened to them?

I'm aware that accidents can happen in cars but at least there's a large amount of metal and airbags between the victims and the impact. On a bike they will be completely exposed. Why would you expose them to that kind of risk? ESPECIALLY with an inexperienced rider.