I think a friend gave my child gelatine in food

[yetanothernamechnager]

I am very upset with him mum thinks I am being unreasonable

Maybe they didn't know? I didn't know that Haribo had gelatine in until recently. My 8 year olds told me! Their friend isn't allowed them as they aren't Halal. So I made sure I sent them in to school with other stuff for their birthdays.

If it was a genuine mistake then yabu.

It sounded like hair os will just forget about it as he is a good friend

Haribos even

Rubyfakrnails did you know they do 'veggie percys' now too? Don't know if vegan or just veggie. I know as I have eaten many bags

YANBU to be upset, but please approach the question politely unless they blatantly did it on purpose. I suspect at least some of the spurious veggie/vegan bashing on this thread (come on folks, she isn't ranting or bombing the friend's house or forcing her kid to vomit, get some perspective!) comes from having seen people rant and rave over what to someone on the outside of the situation looks like something quite minor. Your friend probably didn't realise there was anything iffy in the food, or how much of a problem it would be to you if there was. So feel free to mention it to them but do so in a friendly way. If you have any vegan cupcakes to hand offering one might be an idea, to emphasise that you come in peace (and that there are alternative desserts out there).

For people who are talking about 'choice': I opted in to being vegetarian when I was about nine or ten. I had had the choice to eat meat made for me since whenever I was weaned. My decision to go vegetarian was resisted despite the fact that it slowly relieved a health problem I had that was affecting my life in annoying and sometimes painful ways. I've known quite a few vegetarian and vegan children, and they tend to be healthier than I was at eight or nine.

There is one packet of haribos you can get that are suitable for vegetarians that contain no gelatine so fingers crossed it was those!

I think people should know enough about the rise in food allergies etc to think before giving someone elses child anything to eat.
I know this is not an allergy situation (my Dc do have allergies) BUT IT SHOULD BE SOMETHING WE DO NATURALLY - YOU CANT ASSUME THE CHILD KNOWS, OR WOULD QUESTION AN ADULT, THEY MAY NOT WANT TO SEEM RUDE OR JUST BE EMBARRASSED AT DRAWING ATTENTION TO THEMSELVES.

oops sorry about caps!

iggi yep! Me and the veggies are very acquainted. It just came to mind as my friend made a comment she had given dd2 a 'vegan' day out, I looked down and she is munching on Percy pigs. My friend could not believe they contained gelatine, she didn't even see the irony in them containing pork gelatine or the fact that they do veggie ones as a massive clue!

OP just to give you a different viewpoint - my extreme stickler of a vegan friend is happy for his DS to eat meat, cheese, eggs etc if it is on offer and he wants it, wherever they go, he won't buy and cook it for his DS himself but also won't make that decision for him. He recognises that he came to his conclusions about food by himself and wants his DS to make his own decision.

hmm.

My dd has several serious food allergies. I don't expect my friends to have all the knowledge that DH and I have had to acquire. I always prepare packed lunch for DD as it is all too easy to make a mistake.

If you never want your child to eat anything other than a vegan diet, you should do the same and send food with your child, or go with her and supervise what she eats.

I really don't agree that the responsibility of a child's special diet should be met by anyone other than the parents (or a professional carer)

You say that this was a genuine mistake by your friend so you are being very, very unreasonable.

You can get gelatine free food. Did you ask your friend if they used that type of alternative food or are you just jumping to conclusions?

Larks - sounds like your friend has a very sensible attitude.

Surely by 9 your child knows that Haribo contain gelatine if he has been raised a vegan so would say no if he didn't want them?

Crikey - it is a wonder anyone invites their DCs friends for tea.

You've just reminded me of one of my most wish-I-could-disappear moments I carefully and proudly made a painstaking, gorgeous, wholly organic and dairy-free cream of mushroom soup for a vegan friends' dinner party. As they insisted on knowing how I'd got such a subtle depth of flavour, I described how I'd spent nearly two days creating perfect stock ... from a chicken carcass.

I realised at the same moment they did.

I really wish you hadn't reminded me, OP!!!!

Did DD get the caterpillars free with a leafy salad?

This sounds like a pile of old nonsense. Nine year old accidentally eats Haribo shocker.

My kids have food allergies and it's amazing how little people think about what is actually in the food they are eating. Most people wouldn't know for example that processed ham quite often contains milk as does chorizo. I'm quite switched on to it now after years of experience, but even I make mistakes sometimes.

YABU to be quite so cross it probably didn't cross your friend's mind that there might be animal based products in the sweets.

I remember also at Xmas thinking I had everything sorted for my veggie relatives and then it slowly dawned on me that I was cooking the roast potatoes in goose fat. Thankfully I realised in time and hadn't used all the potatoes!!

Perhaps your 9 year old has decided that they would like to explore a wider range of food and not be a vegan?

A few sweets that used to contain gelatine don't any more, in the UK at least. Polo mints, Skittles and Starburst, for example. Even Haribo have recently extended their range of pick 'n' mix to include some vegetarian jellies. Keep reading the labels. I'm off to the dentist.

If your child has a life-threatening allergy to some foodstuffs, it really is better to provide food yourself, just because people who don't have food allergies, even if they are well-intentioned, won't necessarily remember all the more obscure things they need to avoid. If it's choice or superstition or whatever, then it's just being wanky and precious to make a fuss.

Yabu. How dare you assume what your DC's choice will be in the future. You may be vegan, but what if your DC's decide differently

I would imagine a 9yo is old enough to police their own food choices.

DD is 8.5, we are a meat eating family, however she has recently chosen to be vegetarian - she declines anything that she is unsure of.