To think most of us would struggle

[Olympia2012]

to facilitate our children in their chosen sport to reach Olympic standard

I look at these athletes and just feel the dedication to that one child and their training completely takes over the family. Mrs Daly,Murray,Tweddle etc, I take my hat off to them.

Dd used to play for a footie team. Just locally, but the dedication to just that was massive. Training,kit, getting to venues across the county etc etc. Dragging all the dc out at weekends. The expense! Petrol, food and fees.

I wonder how the average family would cope. Could you?

This thread is interesting, on lots of levels.

DD goes to a local private school, chosen for its sporting activities. Outside of this she does gymnastics and riding.

We are very lucky in that should she want to take anything further, then actually it would be fairly simple as the school would help , DD is an only child and I am a SAHM. DH plays his chosen sport competitively at a regional level too.

However, if any of these factors changed, I could see it would be a real struggle to take any sport further.

Yes, I would - absolutely. I know DH would as well. For as long as they wanted to, we would encourage and facilitate it to the best of our ability.

I wasn't particularly sporty in my childhood, as I was frightened of competitions But my brother had trials for the England basketball team and the lead up to that involved many weekends driving around the country. It just kind of seemed normal to me. DH was a rising athletics star, so had a similar childhood, only it was him competing.

His parents has always been very athletic in weightlifting (his mum) and Judo and marathons (his dad), as have my own parents. A year or so after DH and I got together, we started doing karate together. This led to MMA and Parkour together and pretty soon we were training 5/6 nights a week. It was great because we were together, and I think it's in our nature to be like that. DH is a personal trainer specialising in specific activities and I swim in outdoor events - we're both very much against just using machines in a gym.

So I think given all that - as soon as I'm able to get back into stuff after I give birth in two months, DH will be training me in Olympic lifting and kettlebells again, I'll be training for an outdoor swimming event and we both want to get into paddle boarding and free diving. DH has three Muay Thai fights lined up for next year - if we carry on as we are, it will be part of our children's childhood to always be doing stuff anyway. We're very keen just to generally encourage them to play outside, to pick up activities that require much use of their bodies - parkour, martial arts, gymnastics, athletics, swimming, diving etc - though of course if they showed an interest in a team sport, we'd be thrilled too. Our intention is not to push them into anything but to make movement and activity a way of life for them. If they then show indications of taking something up seriously, it would be supported 100%.

I am quite aware that not every child will be good enough, in the end - but I tend to think that as long as you've kept up your studies at the same time, it will be okay.

Even if you aren't the star athlete, you could still go into coaching, physio, personal training, sports journalism or photography... there's a certain amount of needing to keep your options open, but I don't think it's a terrible thing to not quite make it in the end.

Framey you can say that about so many things in life...

If you want to become a writer, an actor, a photgrapher, an MP, a doctor, a UN aid worker, there will be oodles of stiff competition.

So do we tell our DC not to bother? Do we tell them to play it safe?

Or do we teach them to aim very high, and ensure they're sufficiently robust to deal with failure?

Guess I'm too selfish! I don't want to spend all my free time facilitating something I have no interest in... If they got to top levels I wouldn't mind I suppose, but then it wouldn't just be my free time, it might mean giving up my job etc.

Our kids were in swim club for a while, and enjoyed it lots but had no great talent. Fine, not everyone can be a star, but when DD1 moved up to secondary school and was also due to move up groups at swim club, I persuaded her to stop for a while - she'd have had to commit to sessions at least 5 times a week, including some at 6 am in the next town. I said she could go back in a few months if she wanted to and had the time, but she never did.

Maybe that sounds rather mean, but it would have had a big time impact on all of us, and she was never going to be local standard, never mind the Olympics. I felt it would impact also on her schoolwork, her friendships, other activities - and I did want her to explore other hobbies.

Not to mention that the ones that don't win still get an enormous amount out of it.

allpast sorry but it's hardly surprising she didn't go back to swimming after you persuaded her to give it up.

Well I don't know, Tantrums, to me it's a big deal get up at 5am to drive her round to an activity, pay for it, give up other stuff in favour of it... I said it could be temporary while she settled in to secondary school. But then if she won't actually ask to go back, it's not happening!

We've supported DD (now 9) with her equestrian interests since she started riding at 2. She now has 3 ponies - two at home and one professionally produced - and she competes nationally. This means lots of committment in terms of just riding, never mind competing. We regularly have to be up at 3 or 4 in the morning to get to shows - 5am last Sunday (having got to bed at Midnight) was normal!

One of our bridesmaids is now a teenager and dedicated to eventing. She's taken two years out from her studies to ride non stop. She has just broken into Advanced level and has been on the long list for the British Junior team. Most people think she only has a couple of horses but actually is running 5 at the moment because you need them in various stages of development as it takes so long to get them to advance level and she - unlike the pro riders - can't afford to buy proven horses. She is starting to get sponsorship but doesn't have the track record to attract outside owners yet.

I am incredibly fortunate to have supportive parents who drove me all round the country to play my chosen sport - and never pushed me to play, and never complained about all the financial and practical support they gave me. I was lucky enough to play at junior international standard - but would have settled for local standard as when I started I didn't even know women played my sport! Anything else was a bonus.

I agree that the Olympic parents are fantastic but I would still find it hard to judge any parent who can't offer similar support for whatever reason.

One thing I'm just not a fan of is pushy parents, even though it may have paid off in some famous examples.

What if they just really enjoy it though Allpast? You can still train hard and keep going with a sport without expecting to win gold at the olympics. Sticking with a sport (or any other hobby) and working hard can lead to other things.

Activities like this can open unexpected doors and perhaps even generate unexpected income if you are prepared to stick with them and train to the highest standard possible for you. My friend applied to a very competitive programme to work at a USA summer camp. It was his sporting hobby that made him stand out and win a place.

My DS was offered four free swimming lessons in a private pool at a local school and he hated the first two very much, he cried and on the third week he refused to get into the pool. He's only three and he was hysterical so we didn't take him. We tried again the fourth week and the same thing happened. We didn't want to force him into the pool and the instructor agreed it was a bad idea.

That could have been the end of it but we wanted him to learn to swim, not for the Olympic gold I was imagining in my other post but because learning to swim and being able to do so confidently is a skill we think it's very important for him to have.

DH took him to the public pool several days in a row to build his confidence. It was better because they have a shallow pool for small children and some fun water feature things in it, so he could paddle and play and get used to being in the water. It also meant we could be in the water with him to deal with any tears before the lesson started, something we couldn't do at the other pool. It made all the difference.

When he gained his confidence they went in the deeper pool and DH swam with him. And after three days of doing this we booked a course of lessons, which was a risk if he refused to go as they cost £50, but this time he loved them. The instructor actually gets in the pool with the children and she took the time to chat to my son first so he felt confident with her as well as with the water. When he had his first lesson here (third in total) he was like a different child and this time he cried because it was time to get out of the water.

I will say I've never been any good at swimming, or had much interest in it, and I'm not supposed to be in the water because of problems with my ears. But if DS loves it and wants to carry on, to whatever standard, then I will do everything I can to try and make it happen. If he gets older and feels a different sport is for him I will encourage him in that, although as swimming is a potentially life-saving skill as well as a sport, I would like him to keep going and be a confident swimmer as that was the point of taking him in the first place, to learn an important skill, have fun and keep fit. If that turns into a hobby that can at least give him opportunities or extra income, even if not the Olympic gold, then that's a bonus.

I never did sport at any age. Many people dont

"What if they just really enjoy it though Allpast?"

Yes, of course, I'm not saying that talent and achievement are the only important things... with my DD, had she shown some kind of commitment or passion for the swimming, or even said she missed it, we would probably have rejoined the swim club. If the parent puts in a big commitment in time and/or money, I think there has to be a certain level of passion and commitment from the child, not just, "Would you like to go back to swim club DD?" "Oh, OK then."

I support her in other things that aren't perhaps huge passions, but they don't require that level of time from either of us.

We have one 3yo DS and are unlikely to have any more. I would love it if he was sporty. I guess the upside of not having any more DC would be having more time and funds available if he does end up having an aptitude for something.

He was certainly very enthusiastic about running round and round the track at our town's athletics stadium on Saturday (3 laps without stopping) so it's looking good at the moment.

Our friends' 15yo DD has quite an aptitude for rugby, swimming and rowing. She swims 7 times a week at the moment. I'm not sure how much time our friends spend driving her around, they haven't mentioned doing it at all. Maybe there is a network of parents that share the workload. Her mum works full time but her dad is a 6'6" RFU coach who works in schools and also coaches a local team so she inherited his physique and has always been encouraged to be sporty.

Incidentally, DD2 used to go to swim club as well, and loved it, and I was happy to carry on taking her till she started secondary. But without her big sister there to argue with and beat in races she lost interest.

allpast I just think that's a shame.
I don't particularly like paying 3 sets of registration/training/academy fees every season, buying 9 pairs of boots, 3 lots of waterproofs etc.

I could do without getting up at 6am every Saturday and Sunday, traveling for hours sometimes to get to the matches or the tournaments, having at least one of them training every day of the week so as soon as I get home from work, I'm dropping them to training and picking them up after.

But if we didn't do it, they wouldn't play.

Ok maybe none of them will ever play for England, maybe they will

But I wouldn't stop them playing because it puts me out.

And it does. 3 DCs playing for 3 different clubs is a logistical nightmare but they love it and they are willing to dedicate themselves to the sport, how could I happily tell them I don't want to do it?

Yes, it put me out and that was one reason for stopping. But the main reason was schooling - and this was wise, I think, for the first term at high school she was very busy and was exhausted.

But, I repeat, if there's a big commitment from the parent, I think there has to be a certain level of enjoyment, even passion, from the child. For me to do all that because she "quite likes it" isn't enough - and dropping it gave her more time and energy to explore other things that she might prefer.

That's my last word on this as I don't want my DD and her swim club to take over this thread!

My kids have the priveledge of living with horses as I run a livery yard and ride myself. They have their own ponies, ride every day and compete locally.

That said, I think I would always want them to have horses for fun. I have friends whose children compete at a very high level and it's hard, hard work, stressful and expensive!

My nephew (10yo) shows great promise as a swimmer and does two hours training on normal days but also leaves the house at 5am three mornings a week for extra training. He genuinely loves swimming and I don't think that his parents are particularly pushy but I wonder whether his education suffers as a result. Poor kid must be exhausted by the time he gets to school. His mother is a SAHM and they have pots of money so they don't have any of those practical obstacles so it really comes down to how it will affect him and that must be very hard to decide. I think they reckon the discipline acquired from all that practice will give him the skills he needs to succeed in other areas of his life. I guess there's some merit in that argument.

I was truly mediocre at all sports as a child but I was absolutely passionate about ballet. My mother was not very encouraging as I was a clumsy, inelegant beanpole of a girl so I eventually gave up through lack of support and I'm still sorry that I didn't follow my admittedly misguided dream.

My dd1 (7) was showing a talent for gymnastics. She was in a competitive squad training twice a week, due to go up to 3 times a week from September. I have just changed her to a recreational session, for one hour per week, instead, as she was struggling to cope with the pressure. Gymnastics is a particularly young sport and it pushes them hard. For us as a family, and for dd as an individual, I felt it was too much. She'll never be an Olympic gymnast, but she seems a lot happier!

I loved sport growing up - no-one else in my family did anything, so I dont know where i got it from. I had a great childhood and teenage years riding & playing tennis (both not really competitive). Then at Uni, I started rowing, and it became the love of my life, and I had a great time, travelling all over the country and overseas for competitions - and met my DH (also an international rower).

I will encourage and support my DC to do whatever sport they get the chance to. Neither were great at swimming and are just doing it at school now.

My DS (12) is about to increase his hours of tennis to 6hrs per week, and he will do 2 or 3 sessions of hockey as well in the winter, and he has started going out on a road bike with DH.

My DD (8) is only doing tennis at the moment - she loves it and is being assessed for the next level this month.

It is a struggle to pay the coaching, and all the petrol money - but I will defintinely but it ahead of everything else.

To see the difference in self esteem that sport has given my shy DS is amazing - and he is meeting lots of different people too. Another good thing is that there is a good 'club' atmosphere at the tennis clubs where we live, so they get to interact with other age groups and have respect for each other.

Plus when they are older, I will rather they are hanging out at tennis or rowing than on street corners/park drinking cider!

Wordfactory, becoming a writer, an actor, a photgrapher, an MP, a doctor, a UN aid worker is not a game of winning and losing. Those pursuits are always going to involve many transferable skills.
Yes, all careers are competitive but to funnel your child in a very specified direction... sport is competition is sport, it isn't really about much else apart from winning.

I was encouraged/pushed/facilitated as a child to work towards a very specialist and rarefied vocation.
I won't be doing that with my kids because I don't think that is where happiness lies for the individual child

My dds both ride and are lucky enough to have their own ponies at home.But before I bought them the eldest had been having lessons every week for 4 years.They ride 6 days a week and have worked damn hard at it and it has paid off.When I remind them of how hard they found even getting an obstinate pony to move when they first began,and how hard work,courage,determination and sheer guts have their rewards they can see the results.This has given them loads of confidence in other spheres too.

It has meant sacrifices,no holidays,giving up my old car,no work done on the house and no after school clubs.,but they absolutely love riding and have never complained that they don't want to do it,so as long as they enjoy it and give 100% I'm happy to put in the time,effort and money to help them.

I don't know what will happen in the future,we can't afford £££££'s for top of the range ponies,but I'll worry about that when and if the time comes.At the moment they are doing what they love,having fun,and are rated as good little riders by horsey friends.Dh is happy because pony mad girls have no time for boys.

It is such an effort when your kids are sporty. I really encouraged being sporty, I think its as equally important as academic success.

All 3 of mine are really into their sports and it can be a real nightmare.

DS does football and boxing but he also used to do basketball, tennis and swimming. Slowly some have fallen by the wayside although it was when he went through a time when he was being asked to join official youth clubs etc that he cut it all back. He realised it wasn't for him and went back to boxing and kept the football on more of an amateur level.

DD1 does swimming and running but has also done a lot of competitive netball, gymnastics and dance. Again as she's got older things have been dropped and now its just the two things she enjoys.

The saving grace is that neither of the eldest want to go professional so for them there is less pressure and they compete less. DD2 is only 6 but took up gymnastics recently and I know already there are years ahead of watching and waiting.

My children are all into sport, in particular swimming. One of them is quite good and at quite a young age has reached national level...who knows what the future holds for her but whilst they are all still enjoying the sport I will continue to get up for early morning training before school twice a week and once at weekends, and take them to swimming every weekday evening. quite a lot of weekends are spent at competitions, which 2 take part in (one is too young yet, one does not like competing so not take part). They are all very academic too and attend state schools....(just for info that not educated privately) i feel the time they devote to their sport means any free time is treated as precious and homework is always in on time (school work is of utmost importance obviously) They are never bored as free time is rare they know its special
I am dedicated to help them achieve their dreams whatever that is, they love their sport and i believe its my role to help them achieve what their abilities allow. This year was very special as my daughter attended the National swimming competition and then the next day we headed of to see her favourite swim by the worlds best at the olympics.....this was made even more special as she was aware of some of the swimmers from previous galas.