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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most of us would struggle

194 replies

Olympia2012 · 06/08/2012 13:19

to facilitate our children in their chosen sport to reach Olympic standard

I look at these athletes and just feel the dedication to that one child and their training completely takes over the family. Mrs Daly,Murray,Tweddle etc, I take my hat off to them.

Dd used to play for a footie team. Just locally, but the dedication to just that was massive. Training,kit, getting to venues across the county etc etc. Dragging all the dc out at weekends. The expense! Petrol, food and fees.

I wonder how the average family would cope. Could you?

OP posts:
LackingNameChangeInspiration · 06/08/2012 21:02

the friend I mentioned had the wealthy parents, but the parents were not into the sport themselves, it was a new thing to the family

spoonsspoonsspoons · 06/08/2012 21:07

Lol at Mary King being an example of someone succeeding from a less than privileged background

SeventhEverything · 06/08/2012 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

princessclaradoll · 06/08/2012 21:08

dd is massively into dancing - thankfully this isnt going to be an Olympic sport anytime soon!

She is only 6 but she dances for 7 hours a week over 4 days. I currently have to fundraise in order to afford competitions, have changed my hours at work to accommodate her classes and do admin work for the dance school in order to get a reduction in her fees.

i can see how these things take over your life - it had mine!

scummymummy · 06/08/2012 21:09

Did Mo Farah's parents take him all over the shop or did they delegate that to the school?

PavlovtheCat · 06/08/2012 21:09

I am aware of the training schedules for one of the swimming clubs that train to national/olympic level. the children who are seen as potential are expected to train something like 2-3 hours before school, same after school, every day, not just swimming but other physical training, plus they have to work on their other studies. During weekends and holidays they travel the country to attend galas and competitions, as well as evenings too.

Finding the time to take your children to the club/back again twice a day is impossible, so it is common i think that those children gain scholarships and board on campus, to enable them to access the very best coaching, and have those to dedicate to ferrying around to competitions. Certainly with the club i know of. It is linked with the local private school which has sports scholarships and in particular swimming scholarships.

I cannot see how else you would do it.

PavlovtheCat · 06/08/2012 21:10

so, i dont think you have to be wealthy, but you have to be able to access the same training as some of those who are. you need to access private schooling and have your child live away from home (even if it is down the road to where you live).

KingscoteStaff · 06/08/2012 21:16

I'm posting this from an Under 10s County Cricket tournament. 17 counties represented, with 15 boys from each. Nearly every one of those has a parent staying for 3 nights, and many have both parents and a couple of siblings as well. Travel, hotel costs, kit, days off work... it all adds up.

Talking about tennis, the LTA came to our state primary in the spring, and identified 6 children from Yrs 2 and 3 to whom they offered free weekly coaching at Wimbledon! However, by the end of the year, only 1 child was still attending - the other parents had found it too hard to get the kids to the training due to cost of bus fares, difficulty of coping with other siblings and impossibility of getting up by 8.30am on a Saturday morning.

Baskets45 · 06/08/2012 21:21

I suppose to convert a pig sty you need access to a pigsty in the first place!! But I agree with others dedication and talent are huge and not dependent on money. Also, some of those 'poorer' medal winners this week did get scholarships to continue, as teens. Andy Murray went to Spain. If he'd stayed in scotland, even with a keen & aware mother, he might have found it harder. I suppose though to even know to apply you need to ahve someone who knows and supports, eg schools, coaching staff etc, if not family.

Original poster
Olympia2012 · 06/08/2012 21:28

princess I vaguely remember my mum campaigning to get dancing into the Olympics, this was back though

My parents were British champs, my childhood was spent being dragged around every civic hall in the UK!! It took them ten years to get there. Every weekend was dancing. Every holiday was dancing holidays. I dont resent it but my brother really, really does.

They did well out of it and have their own school now. Dad does private lessons but struggles to charge the going rate as he lives the enthusiasm.

OP posts:
RossettiConfetti · 06/08/2012 21:57

Re those comments on whether its fair to push a young child into a sport, does it somehow erode their childhood, mean they miss out on simple pleasures as a teenage (drinking in the park?!), I would like to know how many Team GB members now would say they regret being pushed by their parents from an early age. And the ones who didn't make it to the Olympics? I wonder if they regret it, as surely they will have picked up other life skills from seriously pursuing a sport or discipline, even if they didn't get to the top level...

I for one wish my parents had forced me to properly learn a musical instrument (I dipped into three different ones over the years, each for a few years at a time but was not dedicated). If I could play the piano decently today it would give me great pleasure.

Also I would possibly be fitter if I had a sport that was 'mine', that I knew well and could play competently (and was relatively accessible and inexpensive - not sailing).

Lancelottie · 06/08/2012 22:26

Sailing isn't hugely expensive at the lower levels. Plenty of fun to be had from a battered old secondhand boat while you learn which direction to point (or can you still get DIY kits for Mirror dinghies?). You do need more water than we have near us, but given the state of the summer, the field out the back could be a good sailing venue any day now.

Lancelottie · 06/08/2012 22:27

(NB I prefer to sail in the opposite direction to everything else and like a good lake's width between me and anything fast, so bang go my Olympic hopes.)

KingscoteStaff · 06/08/2012 22:30

A talented child might get him or herself to local training 3 times a week, but once they are competing at a County or National level they need parental sport for travel.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 06/08/2012 22:31

My son did rowing from the age of 12, got to a pretty good standard and it did involve lots of input from both of us to support him in his training (ie getting him there and back, to competitions, towing boats). Not sure I could be a Judy Murray though (thankfully, one of her is enough)

LadyLetch · 06/08/2012 23:34

I have found this interesting reading as it reflects many of the internal debates I have regarding my daughter's sport.

She is 8, and does gymnastics. She now trains 14 hours a week (split over 4 days) and is never going to be an olympic athlete. She is good but not that good! Compared to some sports, I think gymnastics is quite heavy on the training.

Even though we don't compete at the highest levels, I have found it dominates my life. I have a part time job, which I'd like to change but can't because I have to finish work at 2pm every day, and this is not possible for most places. DD always has to miss out on school discos, play dates and the like. I constantly worry that she becomes isolated from her school friends as she just can't join in with the activities (like brownies, horse riding etc) that all her school friends seem to do. We never have weekend breaks any more because taking her out of gym is just too stressful (she is not supposed to miss any sessions for 6 weeks before a major comp). She often has to miss out on sleepovers and parties if they clash with training... It does require a number of sacrifices and I would be quite happy if she ever wanted to give up. But, she loves it. She can be in the grumpiest mood ever when she goes in to gym, but she always comes out happy. There are loads of benefits she has got from it too. She has a good circle of friends with her gym pals. They are now quite a tight little group, and when the bitchiness is going on at school, DD just walks away from it all and joins her gym friends. She loves competing and winning medals / passing grades. It has given her a ton of self confidence. So I allow it to continue, and spend my life driving her to gym training 4 days a week, and I sit outside for up to 3 hours at a time.

Another gym girl I know who seems to be seriously talented, does 23 hours of training a week (also aged 8). On top of that, she has to travel 40 mins each way to get to the gym club (goes to a different town). She has to leave school early to get there, and I have no idea when she fits her homework in. Her parents have seriously dedicated their lives to their children's sports. I am in awe of them for doing that, although it is not a choice I would make myself. I just couldn't do it.

AdoraBell · 07/08/2012 04:10

My two have decided they are going to be Olympians, so I'd been giving this a bit of thought already. I think I would do my damnedest to help them, although I haven't worked out costs and logistics yetGrin. Seriously though,even though OH is self employed all that really means is that he's never available to help. I can see me being one exhausted Mum if either of them show any real talent.

merrymouse · 07/08/2012 06:52

I honestly don't think you can push a child into doing a sport at Olympic level - maybe an 8 year old with a biddable personality would go along with it for a while. However, the children who actually wanted to be there would soon start to outperform those who were being forced. (I think perhaps in China they take "forcing" to a different level though...)

I'd love to be facilitating my children to do sport at the highest level, but then I have this romantic image of me sitting in a car somewhere listening to radio 4, catching up on my reading, knitting, maybe giving myself a manicure, while they do whatever it is they have to do with their coach. It's probably not like that is it? (Oh yes, just remembered, other child is in the car with me...)

CheerfulYank · 07/08/2012 07:25

I think I'd try.

A lot of it is insane though...DS is five (just) and went to a preschool sports sampler where he turned out to be pretty good at basketball.

One of the dads was talking to me very seriously about "nurturing his talent." Confused DS was the tallest (giant genes from DH :) ) and one of the oldest, so I think he was naturally more able to make baskets. If he wants to play when he goes to kindergarten, fine, otherwise whatever.

It does make me wonder how many kids could do well and be amazing at sports with the right support, though. So many kids don't have that. :(

happyinherts · 07/08/2012 07:41

Yes - and I will

Son was scouted at a school sports day to join an athletic club. 3 years later he is ranked No 1 in his event in UK although there is another lad who is capable of beating him but just hasn't this season so in fairness my son is ranked top 2 in event. Makes Euro debut in Sept.

We have no car - I didn't learn to drive and I know my limits, my reactions just aren't up to it. We have a total family income of around £15K and my son has reached this level I am totally committed into going for it. He has 3 small sponsorships and has been approached by US universities for sports packages.

We have fantastic support systems, thanks to other mums who can drive and stadium staff and coaches who realise our difficulties and help us. I've booked train tickets in advance on trainline to gain discounted fares for UK travel and enjoyed the change of scenery by a bit of travel.

I was very dubious of all this 3 years ago - who makes a success out of sports, do your GCSE's etc, I can't afford it etc, but it has worked. 11 GCSE's later and possibility of 3 AS Levels next week, I'd say go for it. If child is ambitious and determined to succeed like my son has just delayed breakfast for a 10 mile run, it is my duty as a mum to help and support him. I didn't have this support when I was a youngster (through no fault or lack of care from anyone).

No one knows what the youngsters are capable of until they give it a go - I didn't dream of this. His coach has described him as a future Olympian - looking forward to Brazil 2016 if only to support all the UK young people he has met over the last 3 years who definitely will make it.

Jinsei · 07/08/2012 07:42

I agree with the OP. Not an issue for our family as dd takes after her mother and has no chance of being Olympic material. Grin But the daughter of a good friend of mine is incredibly athletic and a talented swimmer. She has been invited to join the local junior swimming club, and now trains several times a week but her mum is a lone parent and feels guilty about dragging the child's younger sister to practices every night, so she doesn't train as often as she otherwise would. It's very difficult.

SittingBull · 07/08/2012 07:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HSMM · 07/08/2012 08:08

DD and one of her friends are both very talented. Her friend's mother has pots of money and loads of time and can take her DD to all lessons, events, competitions, extra classes, etc available. I work full time and do not have much spare cash, so DD does not get the opportunities and will therefore probably miss out on her chosen career. I feel a terrible crushing guilt about this. I know DD will be OK, but she really loves her sport and would do it all day every day given the opportunity.

AllPastYears · 07/08/2012 09:11

Interesting article about sports funding and the link to medals.

FrameyMcFrame · 07/08/2012 09:21

for every Olympic athlete there are 1000s of kids who tried just as hard but didn't make it.

That's what puts me off being that type of parent.

The inherent competitiveness of sport means there are too many loosers or ones who didn't gert picked. :(